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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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It sounds like the real problem is she's not sleeping through the night. Can you get her a sleeping medication that will allow all of you to get some sleep? That's the only solution I see. You could shut your dad away so she can't get to him, but that would only agitate her, which isn't good. The wanting food at night is secondary to her not sleeping through the night. If she could sleep, all of these other things would go away.
Well, that makes things even tougher, dad being asleep and mom checking that he is okay, my mother does this with me and my cat. Okay, so lots of good suggestions, like the ones that suggest leaving out portion snacks, etc. I fill my mother up with lots of fiber, she likes bran, nuts, bananas, oatmeal, this is filling I find for her and me. Hopefully you will find a solution, can the doctor help out here?
Thank you for all the suggestions. The problem with her getting up in the middle of night hungry is that she wakes up my 90 years old dad to help her. she also has severe arthorities in both knees and walking specially at night is difficult for her. she also gets very nervous when dad is not around or sleeping. so she has to wake him up to make sure he is okay.
Sunflo is right, that you can't get her to understand that she already ate. She doesn't remember, and if you tell her, she will forget again in a short while.
You haven't really said why this is a problem. Does she make you get up to feed her? That would get old fast. Would it work to put a serving of dinner aside to give to her later when she is hungry, or "peckish", as the Brits say? Peckish means wanting to eat, as opposed to feeling actual hunger. I certainly like to eat sometimes just for the pleasure of it!
My husband also forgets that we have eaten. In our household, we do a lot of grazing, and not too much sitting down together for a meal. I think he gets a sensation in his stomach, or gets bored, and thinks he is hungry. If I tell him we just ate, he will accept it, but still wants to eat. I tell him to eat crackers and cheese or to make a sandwich. Oh, I should offer him soup. At least that would have a few vegetables!
Sometimes I offer to make him something that will take a while to prepare. He will go back to his computer, and not show up hungry again for an hour or so! so you can also use distraction, and she will forget that she was hungry.
To keep her weight down, reduce portion size and expect her to eat more often.
To make it easier on yourself, let go of getting her to understand. Plan to have lots of snacks and half-meals available and easy for you to give her. Make sure there is something for her to get for herself in the middle of the night. This disease sucks bigtime. Choose your battles wisely.
To keep his weight down, I try to reduce portion sizes.
If she is saying "I'm hungry" in the middle of the night I don't think it matters that she ate an evening meal (whether she remembers the meal or not). Telling her she has eaten previously isn't going to fix the hunger she is experiencing when she is awake in the middle of the night. If she's hungry - feed her a snack. I like Madeaa's suggestion of a bedtime snack to prevent the awakening hungry.
My grandma died at 103 years old in February. She was regularly up during the night and wanting a snack. I made sure there were a couple things within reach where she could find them easily on the kitchen countertop (because that's where she would start looking for food...). So a loaf of bread and some bananas within her reach was all it took for her to be able to find a snack on her own and go back to bed. Most nights I would hear her and get up with her but if I didn't, she got what she was looking for and went back to bed.
I'm not sure that forgetting she had meals would really have anything to do with her being hungry and wanting to eat, perhaps she is not eating enough at each meal and is hungry. I give my mother tea and scone or something before bed and so far it has been good. Maybe some medication is increasing her appetite.
I would try several more frequent small meals during the day with several small snacks. This may be better nutritionally as well as more satisfying. Previous poster had a good idea with having a small tray or basket with small snack foods. You might even consider 1/2 sandwich, cheese and crackers, small cookie or small yogurt, grapes, finger type foods she can access at night -- don't forget a sippy cup with a beverage.
With dementia, you can't reason with them or try to set the record straight...they just can't remember short term and that includes the meals. If the meals are smaller and spaced across the day and into evening before bed, maybe she'll stay mor satiated thru the night.
We need more information to answer more fully. Is it OK for her to eat more if she's hungry, or are you trying to get her not to eat and sleep instead? Does she wake you up in the middle of the night to help her get more food? Is she overweight?
If that's the problem, could you put out individual servings of snacks by her bed or on the kitchen counter that she could fix herself? Single pudding servings or crackers and cheese or nuts if she can eat them. Or is there something else that makes that impossible? Please tell us more!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You haven't really said why this is a problem. Does she make you get up to feed her? That would get old fast. Would it work to put a serving of dinner aside to give to her later when she is hungry, or "peckish", as the Brits say? Peckish means wanting to eat, as opposed to feeling actual hunger. I certainly like to eat sometimes just for the pleasure of it!
My husband also forgets that we have eaten. In our household, we do a lot of grazing, and not too much sitting down together for a meal. I think he gets a sensation in his stomach, or gets bored, and thinks he is hungry. If I tell him we just ate, he will accept it, but still wants to eat. I tell him to eat crackers and cheese or to make a sandwich. Oh, I should offer him soup. At least that would have a few vegetables!
Sometimes I offer to make him something that will take a while to prepare. He will go back to his computer, and not show up hungry again for an hour or so! so you can also use distraction, and she will forget that she was hungry.
To keep her weight down, reduce portion size and expect her to eat more often.
To make it easier on yourself, let go of getting her to understand. Plan to have lots of snacks and half-meals available and easy for you to give her. Make sure there is something for her to get for herself in the middle of the night. This disease sucks bigtime. Choose your battles wisely.
To keep his weight down, I try to reduce portion sizes.
With dementia, you can't reason with them or try to set the record straight...they just can't remember short term and that includes the meals. If the meals are smaller and spaced across the day and into evening before bed, maybe she'll stay mor satiated thru the night.
If that's the problem, could you put out individual servings of snacks by her bed or on the kitchen counter that she could fix herself? Single pudding servings or crackers and cheese or nuts if she can eat them. Or is there something else that makes that impossible? Please tell us more!