Mom gets up during the night but won’t use her walker. Any ideas?
My mom (86) has somewhat moderate dementia. I live with her and am her primary caregiver and it’s been a slow decline for the last 5 years. She recently had a bad UTI and ended up in the hospital and then rehab for several weeks. When she returned home, she was incontinent, much less mobile and her dementia seemed to have progressed.
After a setback of another UTI, she was unable to get out of bed, and I was changing her diapers. The home health people told me maybe I should get her back into the hospital and rehab again. But it seemed to me that being in the hospital was what got her into this, and I decided that since I had overcome my main stumbling block, which was learning to change the diapers of an adult in a bed (thank you YouTube videos and home health aides), that I would try to keep her home and see if I could help her improve.
And miracle of miracles, she has! She started using the bathroom again one day, and has gone back to wearing pullups instead of briefs. She also is more alert, and seemed to get her energy back and can walk some with her walker. And therein lies the problem I am now having: at night, she gets out of her bed to use the bathroom and most of the time doesn’t use her walker.
We’ve had to pick her up off the floor a few times and I am so worried that one of these nights she’ll be hurt. She is sleeping downstairs in a hospital bed. We are upstairs and can’t hear a thing that goes on down there. I set up a baby monitor which helps, but my hearing is not that great and it’s hard to tell sometimes what I’m hearing on that thing. So, I got a camera that I can see her on. When I hear something, I look on my phone to see what she’s doing and sometimes I see an empty bed so I rush down to find her (most of the time) safe in the bathroom, but no walker used. Sometimes she goes elsewhere after the bathroom and I find her sitting in her chair in the dark or looking out a window, or lying on the floor (luckily our house is heavily carpeted).
Some nights she gets up 3 or 4 times, and some nights she sleeps all through the night. But even when she does that, I’m up every couple of hours checking on her with my phone. Ugh, it’s taking a toll! I’ve tried putting walkers all around her bed (we have 4) so that maybe she’ll use one, or just be discouraged from getting up. Sometimes it works, sometimes she just pushes them aside. My next idea is to put some little bells on the walkers so I’ll hear her, and as soon as I get a chance I’m going to try that.
Has anyone else had this problem, or have any other ideas?
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My father refused to use his walker (no dementia involved) and fell one morning at 4 am and broke his hip. He never walked again, for the most part, and passed away 10 months later after I had to get he and mom into Assisted Living stat. There is nothing you can do to force an elder with dementia to use a walker or to prevent her from falling, either.
My mother lived in a wonderful Memory Care Assisted Living residence for almost 3 years, and a regular AL before that for 4 years, and fell a total of 95x. NINETY FIVE times. And the AL and MC did everything in their power to prevent it, but in reality, nothing WILL prevent an elder from falling, especially when dementia is involved.
When hospice came on board for mom, they brought her a bolster pillow for her hospital bed which sort of cupped her body inside of it and prevented her from getting up. Here's a link to something like what I'm speaking of:
https://www.amazon.com/Drive-Medical-Universal-Mattress-Perimeter/dp/B00V86G39C/ref=sr_1_2?crid=3M4BQ5LI83ZRG&keywords=medical+supply+bolster+device+to+prevent+falls+out+of+bed&qid=1667150918&sprefix=medical+supply+bolster+device+to+prevent+falls+out+of+bed%2Caps%2C199&sr=8-2&ufe=app_do%3Aamzn1.fos.f5122f16-c3e8-4386-bf32-63e904010ad0
Sometimes a loved one's care becomes too much for you to handle alone at home. If/when that happens, look into hiring overnight caregivers for your mom (on her dime, of course) or placing her in a Memory Care ALF for her own safety, and so that you can sleep.
Best of luck.
Another thing I worry about is if she decided to climb the stairs. She can no longer make them, which is why she now sleeps downstairs in a hospital bed. But I can imagine her forgetting she can't make it up the stairs and giving it a try.
I like the bolster pillow idea, it's a lot more humane than my idea of duct taping her to the bed, lol.
Please consider hiring an aide for evening duty to watch her. I don't think you will have the energy to do this for the long run, but even if you do, you will need to rest so that you can continue to take care of her. Just give yourself options and seek help, make sure you are always rested and ready to take on the challenges to take this on. I am sending you all the love.
A year of sleeping on the couch sounds awful, I'm sorry you had to do that!
Point this wherever you need to so it tells you she is getting up. Don't aim it where it will pickup every move.
This will help you get sleep when she doesn't need to be checked on.
We use one and it is the best money we have spent. I get an alarm that motion has been detected, I can then go live and speak with the person. Or I can set off an alarm to scare critters away.
If it doesn't scare mom you could use it to remind her to use her walker.
It is a Zumimall brand and is rechargeable and wireless.
Azo bladder control..
Reduces urge to go to bathroom during night.. I have multiple sclerosis and incontinence is a big one for that disease. I tell u things that have helped me.. Azo BLADDER CONTROL. Has to be the bladder control not any other type..
There many Azo for all kinds of urinary issues. The others don't work only bladder control.
Not. Bladder health, uti pain, prevent utii..
Only. Bladder Control.
1 store in my area carries the bladder control Azo.. formerly prescription med made over the counter. I get Walmart if they stop carrying will need to get from Amazon.
If she made it to the bedroom's door without falling, she had the door, door frame, narrow hallway, and the bathroom door to steady her.
I ended up putting up spare dining chairs with the backs facing the "walkway" in that open space. She always had something to steady herself in the night. She never fell again.
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