Mom has a bed bug infestation. Any advice?
My mother will be 70 this year and lives on her own (still works full time too). Her brother lives with her. A little background on her: She has lived her whole life thinking if you ignore something it will go away. She ignored her gall bladder issues for years before finally needing surgery. Even after surgery she still eats the same way. (she just runs to the bathroom after she eats). She was told she was diabetic about 10 years ago and was given pills (no shots thankfully). She took the one bottle and never refilled it. All she did to change her diet was to use splenda instead of sugar in her coffee. She still eats "meat and potatoes" at every meal and wow can she eat! (she's about 4'11" and 180 lbs). She was also raised to hide everything because of what other people will think. (not fix it--- just hide it). I'd say she was a hoarder but it's not nearly what you see on tv. She does have stuff she doesn't need but it's not to the point of being cripling. She hasn't done laundry in a laundromat in 7+ years. She washes her clothes by hand because of what people will think of her if they see her in a laundromat. She'll pay $150/week for a cab to go to work because of what people would think of her for taking the town bus (we live on Long Island and it's not like the city--- I agree there is a stigma for taking the bus out here but I take the bus because IDC what people think).
Anywhoo-- sorry. She now has bedbugs. I know they're not her fault. they happen. She could have gotten them from someone in a grocery store who knows. However, she has ignored them from day one. She acts like it's nothing and just flicks them off her and squishes them. then says, "oh , haha, there's another one"
I know I'm dealing with much more than just a bed bug infestation, I'm dealing with mental issues as well. I just do not know where to start or how to approach this subject. She will be downright adamant about us (I have 3 sisters) doing anything.
I forgot she lives in a downstairs apartment and her landlords live upstairs. My sister says they have them upstairs, she saw them on the frame of the door. My mother never even told her landlords about the mold in the bathroom and the ceiling is all black and the sheetrock is ruined. (Again---because of what they will think of her and they will throw her out--event tho I've told her a million times they cannot throw her out on the street).
So any and all advice is greatly appreciated. I don't want to say the wrong things to mom and get her pissed or have her withdraw. I need to approach this delicately. I know of the expenses involved w/ bed bugs as well. And none of us have any money so I'm wondering if DSS or APS could help.
If the whole house is infested, and it sounds as if her living conditions are pretty dreadful anyway, then you'd be doing all of the residents a favour by reporting this issue. I appreciate the sensitivities, though. I think in your position I'd make a preliminary call for advice only, then follow that through without shame.
I've got a mother like that. Threadworms, head lice, cockroaches, a particularly memorable broken thermostat on the immersion heater so that the water came out literally boiling - if she could pretend it wasn't happening, she did. You have to respect what matters to her, I know, but then again a joke's a joke - you do eventually lose patience with it. Sorry, mum, but welcome to Planet Reality. Good luck!
I'd move. Like yesterday.
oh hell, i aint looking for controversy. i killed em because im smarter than a tiny bug and i read info from all over the world that his undereducated little ass has no access to.
bayer brand garden dust scattered on and behind kitchen appliances / cabinets will wipe out roaches in a matter of weeks. the poison control people at bayer corp told me as long as the garden dust wasnt being blown around by the furnace that it was perfectly safe to use indoors. the bayer ladies words were " our dust is seriously dumbed down where humans are concerned".
my new basement digs has a couple ( welcome ) snakes living in the ceiling joists and an occasional bat flies thru but there arent any bed bugs or roaches.
At the age of 13, my father punished my rebelliousness with a plane ticket to my birth mother's hovel in Puerto Rico. For 1 1/2 years, I felt my identity being dictated by slave-driving social parasites. My self-esteem, self-respect, and self-worth was measured by how efficiently I catered to their whims. ... "If I don't move, they won't know I'm here."
Did homework by candlelight; also washed my raggedy clothes at night b/c I didn't want people to laugh at me. If they asked anything, I'd lower my eyes and answer in one syllable. If they beat me -- as my mother often did when life became too miserable to bear -- I accepted it. I never fought back!
Broken down, ashamed, abused, and paranoid, I silently begged for death as the coqui sang at night and the mosquitoes bit. Mom, angry as usual, would sometimes walk into the room brandishing an extension cord. But she preferred a long knife used to slaughter hogs. "One of these days," she said, "I'm going to bathe in your blood." ... Death would certainly be a lot better than the hell I was living.
She, and just about every one of those bloodsuckers down there, almost nullified me. But I bided my time as a ghost validated by the roaches, mice, and rats I considered more civilized than humans. Dad finally came to restore my self-worth, and remind me that I do matter. That there are people who care about me.
Your Mom might want to be left alone and not bother anyone. But pitch a tent in her head anyway. Let her know the way she's living is p----ng the hell out of you and that bedbugs are not an option.
She's worth her weight in gold, but doesn't know it yet.
You are likely to carry the infestation back to your house, so this is serious.
I know it is difficult, but NH and dorms and hotels find a way to kill bedbugs, so it can be done.you will need professional help and possibly to get rid of bedding.
We can't burn furniture. She lives in an apartment in someone's house. We can't make a bon fire in the back yard LOL
She doesn't even sleep in a bedroom she just sleeps on the couch. Her brother has the one bedroom and the second bedroom is a storage room, which has my uncle's stuff and her stuff. (There's no closet or storage space except a closet in the one bedroom and one in the living room).
I agree we have to get rid of the couch. However we'd have to do it when she wasn't home. We already told her we have to get rid of the couch and she said no because she "can't" put a couch by the garbage the landlords will get mad. (yeah ok). We all told her that 1-they don't even have to know WHY she's getting rid of the couch and 2-who the hell cares? (but she thinks they do and they'll throw her out and no we start the whole conversation over again.) :-/
Do you know the landlord to speak to? Is he an ogre? How long has she been a good, rent-paying tenant? After her earlier experiences I'm not blaming her for being nervous; just wondering if she's thinking the worst without real cause.
Replace all bedding, sheets, blankets, decorative pillows, bed skirts etc. OR wash everything in very hot water and dry in hot dryer. YEP, she'll have to do this in laundromat.
They are tenacious and you have to be careful. I travel all the time and never lay clothes or suitcase on bed. I unpack in laundry room when I retune and wash all my pajamas immediately.
Keep in mind that folks who grew up in the Depression were used to living with bedbugs, so they don't always react with abject horror like we do. They don't realize that there are better solutions out there now that can deal with them more effectively than dousing mattresses with kerosene like my grandfather tried... forgetting he smoked in bed.
losers ..