We are waiting for a room to open up in an AL facility. She is first on the list. In the meantime, the IL facility has been patient for the last two months allowing her to stay, but knowing she has progressive dementia and told us they won't renew her lease. Christmas Eve was an eye opener for all of us. Her dementia and memory has gotten so much worse over the past month I can see almost a day to day deterioration. She couldn't understand the plans we had for the holidays although I wrote them down in several places, including the whiteboard - which she had erased, why I don't know. She didn't recognize a couple of the relatives, remained silent almost the entire evening, ate little, and kept forgetting what happened two minutes ago. She seemed to be in her own world. I live in fear I will get a call any day saying "come get her, she doesn't know where she is". Life is cruel, she is healthy physically, but at this rate, mentally she will become a living vegetable in six months. She will be 100 next week. I feel sad saying this, but a person can live too long especially if there is no quality or awareness of life any more. How long can a person with alzheimers at her age go on when they reach the point they are totally unaware of what is going on around them? This is so very sad and frightening.
Make sure that the folks who have assessed her in the past for AL are aware of her recent deterioration. You don't want to be faced with moving her again soon.
Maybe it is time to step back.... why not turn everything over to your sister to deal with since it was her idea not to have put your Mom in an AL a year or more ago, thus it now should become her responsibility. Why should you have to shoulder all of this? I know, I know it is easier said then done.
Wow, your Mom will be 100 years old. Amazing. I remember back when my Godmother [Mom's sister] was 99 she was sharp, up-to-date on everything, and we would chat every now and then on the phone [lived out of state].... but as soon as she was approaching 100, she no longer called me, and if I called her she had no idea who I was, I was amazed at how quickly her memory had went. Then and only then could my aging cousin move his Mom into a continuing care facility for a couple of months until she passed. She had refused to move from her single family home. It's not over, my cousin is still helping his wife's Mom who is 100 years old and still in her own home alone.