My mother, 81, is in a nursing home with dementia. I had a very basic phone installed so we could keep in touch. Otherwise, I was afraid that she'd constantly bother the staff to call me.
The first couple of months, there was no problem. Then she started pulling the cord from the wall jack and breaking it. After replacing the cord several times, the wonderful and patient maintenance staff finally put the phone up on the wall (it was on the table next to her bed) and put duct tape over the jack and little bit of exposed cord so she can't yank it out.
A couple of days ago she disconnected the handset and apparently threw it out because no one could find it. You can't ask her why she does it because she blames it on the staff or on my father (from whom she's been divorced almost 40 years and who's never visited.. not that he should). On Friday I brought the handset from an old phone I had. Yesterday she yanked it out but at least she didn't break the plug so maintenance plugged it back in and put duct tape over the hole. Hopefully this will work but somehow I doubt she'll leave it alone for long.
As for the TV, she got it into her head to remove it from her room. Which meant that she managed to unscrew the cable, climb up on furniture to remove the plug (which was high up on the wall) and carry or push it into the hallway. I don't know where she got the strength to do it. It's an older model that was sitting securely on a small dresser. The TV was put back into her room because she raised such a fuss saying that it was stolen. The nurse suggested that I get a small flat screen and have it mounted on the wall. I'm afraid that won't stop her from climbing up again if she gets another delusional idea. I thank God that she didn't hurt herself this time.
I can't make her understand that she shouldn't do the things she does because she doesn't acknowledge doing them in the first place. It's always someone else's fault. So I'm debating removing the TV from her room for her own safety (although chances are that she won't go to the day room or main dining room to watch TV) and disconnecting the phone service if she breaks the phone again.
Any thoughts?
Could a flat screen TV be mounted at eye level, so if your Mom feels the need to try to dismantle it, she wouldn't be harming herself. If the TV is professionally mounted to the wall, your Mom wouldn't have the tools to use to remove it. She would have to be Hulk Hogan to pull it off the wall.
As for the telephone, there are slim line landline phones where the cord is attached to the receiver, there is no way it would come out. The only thing the same cord to the receiver is the same one that plugs into the wall. It's made by GE and I bought it a few years ago at Target.
In the Memory Care where she is they don't allow the residents to have shampoo, lotion, mouthwash, toothpaste or anything like that in their rooms, for fear they would misuse it and harm themselves. All cords are kept out of their reach too.
I would discuss your situation with the staff at your mom's facility. Certainly, they have dealt with this before. I expect they will suggest to give up on the phone and tv. It seems like they not giving her much pleasure anyway. Why not just call your mom at the same time every day and the staff can call her to the phone?
You could also look into child based tablet devices (they are usually battle tested). If they have the internet you could connect to Netflix or some other service. You might want to look into children games or puzzles which are safe but provide your mother with time to undo things.
Dementia unfortunately brings us back to a child like state.
I would suggest requesting your mother's HealthCare records (called Release of Information) to perform a checks and balances on your mother’s care. This can ensure she has someone looking out for her at another level.
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Reading between the lines in your message, your mother seems quite agitated. Perhaps it's time to review medications with her doctor?
Blessings for a quick and peaceful resolution to this issue.