My husband was very supportive of our moving to a new state, changing our jobs and living arrangements and having Mom move in with us. For about 15 months, I worked at home and had more free time. Now I have a real job outside the home and less free time. My husband is upset and says I'm not talking to him. We are all at home in the evenings when I am cooking for Mom and myself and he doesn't join us. If I ask him to go somewhere out of the house with me, he won't. Says he is too tired, which he probably is, since his job is so stressful.
I'm not sure what to do. I'm having trouble meeting everyone's social, physical, and emotional needs, as well as my own. My husband is so grumpy I don't want to be around him. And when his job takes him away from me, I don't complain. But it seems when my responsibilities take me away from him, he is unhappy.
I don't really have anyone here who can take Mom out at night. All family live about 2 hours away. We are able to go away and leave Mom alone for hours at a time, but he doesn't want to do that. Help!
Your Mom needs to be second after your husband. Even my Mother, who was self-centered, would remind me during lucid moments to spend time with my husband. She always showed appreciation to him while living in our home, because he is a man:)
Thank you all for the replies. Very helpful!
imho men are basically simple, feed 'em and f'em and they will be happy by & large Let them have their toys appropriate to their ability (so yes on the motorcycle but no on parasailing) - hopefully their toys are something you can participate in too (mine has a boat) even if it's not exactly what you'd like. And the sexual part can be many, many things that are sensual rather than sex. Hubby isn't happy that you have chosen mom over him and rightly so. Which is more important to you?
there are many reasons that a guy get grumpy and every one of them have to do with his genitals. it isnt that complex after all..
You mentioned that his job was very stressful...it may be something at work has happened that has just increased the stress and if stress of having Mom living with you is making his life unbearable
maybe finding a new place for Mom would be a win win for everyone.