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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Your profile says that your Mother wants to move in with you, but she wants “help on her terms”. This is a VERY bad idea. If M moves into your house, it NEEDS to be on your terms. From the beginning, and no ifs and buts. Wherever it starts it WILL get worse, and you are likely to find it almost impossible to live your own life in your own house.
"I am caring for my mother nell, who is 87 years old, living in my home with age-related decline, cancer, incontinence, mobility problems, and sleep disorder."
If you are not her PoA and she has no diagnosis of cognitive impairment, then she can check herself out of the hospital and go back to your home since that is (probably) her legal residence.
The question is not can you take her back to your home, but *should* you take her back to your home? She sounds like a very ill person and you eventually won't be able to give her enough help without it costing you your own physical and mental health.
Is she currently in rehab? Why was she hospitalized in the first place? More info would be very helpful.
We need more info. Why was Mom in the hospital? Why was she discharged to you and not sent to Rehab or her home.
Doesn't seem to be working her living with you and thats OK. IMO, two women can't live in the same house when one of the woman owns it. Is Mom capable of living on her own? Can she shower and dress herself? Cook meals. What are you willing and not willing to do for her. Maybe call Office of Aging and have them evaluate Mom's house for safety. Like having bars in her shower. The need of a shower chair. If Mom is low income, maybe Medicaid can help with an aide.
If Mom needs 24/7 care, then she can't go home without that care being set up. If she can afford it, maybe an Assisted Living. If not, then its Long-term care with Medicaid helping to pay for her care.
Work with the social workers and the discharge planners. They will speak with you about the options. You can ask them questions and they will answer them for you.
Are the hospital people telling you that Mom cannot return home to live??
What reasons are the discharge planners giving you that Mom can't go home??
If Mom requires help at home, and is on Medicare only (not medicaid) she will likely not have any medical financial coverage for this; can she afford help?
Taking her home will be most difficult due to her conditions. You'll need help to look after her.
Please read some other posts on this site that will inform you about the difficulties you'll be dealing with if mom is in your home. Lot's of people think "Oh, I love her so much, I'll go through whatever needs to be done to take care of mom." But at that point they have NO idea what that encompasses and have NO training for what lies ahead.
I'd suggest doing anything but taking mom to your home because once she's there, it will be hard to get her out. You might resent having no life of your own, the smells, the demands, and being on duty 24/7.
Mom did not "need" to come to your home. The discharge was allowed BECAUSE she had a SAFE place to be discharged to. There must have been a reason she needed a safe discharge to someplace other than her home. Does she need help? Is her home safe? Can she care for herself? Does she have a formal, legal, medical diagnosis of dementia or any condition that would prohibit her from being discharged to home?
You say she "need help" (sic) What type of help does she need? She can pay caregivers to help with whatever needs to be done. If the reason she needs help is due to a temporary condition (restricted movement from surgery or a bone fracture) once that has been resolved she can be on her own, a PT or her doctor would determine that.
If you provide more information it might help.
If the discharge was recent you can contact her doctor or the Social Worker at the hospital and inform them that you can not safely care for mom and that you need to have her placed in Rehab for her safety. From that point the determination will be made if she can be safely discharged to her home or if she needs Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing for a longer duration. But you have to stress this...say "I can not SAFELY care for mom in my home, her care is more than I can manage"
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
"I am caring for my mother nell, who is 87 years old, living in my home with age-related decline, cancer, incontinence, mobility problems, and sleep disorder."
If you are not her PoA and she has no diagnosis of cognitive impairment, then she can check herself out of the hospital and go back to your home since that is (probably) her legal residence.
The question is not can you take her back to your home, but *should* you take her back to your home? She sounds like a very ill person and you eventually won't be able to give her enough help without it costing you your own physical and mental health.
Is she currently in rehab? Why was she hospitalized in the first place? More info would be very helpful.
Doesn't seem to be working her living with you and thats OK. IMO, two women can't live in the same house when one of the woman owns it. Is Mom capable of living on her own? Can she shower and dress herself? Cook meals. What are you willing and not willing to do for her. Maybe call Office of Aging and have them evaluate Mom's house for safety. Like having bars in her shower. The need of a shower chair. If Mom is low income, maybe Medicaid can help with an aide.
If Mom needs 24/7 care, then she can't go home without that care being set up. If she can afford it, maybe an Assisted Living. If not, then its Long-term care with Medicaid helping to pay for her care.
Are the hospital people telling you that Mom cannot return home to live??
What reasons are the discharge planners giving you that Mom can't go home??
If Mom requires help at home, and is on Medicare only (not medicaid) she will likely not have any medical financial coverage for this; can she afford help?
Please read some other posts on this site that will inform you about the difficulties you'll be dealing with if mom is in your home. Lot's of people think "Oh, I love her so much, I'll go through whatever needs to be done to take care of mom." But at that point they have NO idea what that encompasses and have NO training for what lies ahead.
I'd suggest doing anything but taking mom to your home because once she's there, it will be hard to get her out. You might resent having no life of your own, the smells, the demands, and being on duty 24/7.
IF “she need help” you may find that she’s better off in her own home, and hiring “helpers” at what ever level SHE NEEDS to be there.
If she enters YOUR home, YOU become the 24/7/365 “help”, and it WILL be on HER terms.
Good luck with this.
The discharge was allowed BECAUSE she had a SAFE place to be discharged to.
There must have been a reason she needed a safe discharge to someplace other than her home.
Does she need help? Is her home safe? Can she care for herself? Does she have a formal, legal, medical diagnosis of dementia or any condition that would prohibit her from being discharged to home?
You say she "need help" (sic)
What type of help does she need?
She can pay caregivers to help with whatever needs to be done.
If the reason she needs help is due to a temporary condition (restricted movement from surgery or a bone fracture) once that has been resolved she can be on her own, a PT or her doctor would determine that.
If you provide more information it might help.
If the discharge was recent you can contact her doctor or the Social Worker at the hospital and inform them that you can not safely care for mom and that you need to have her placed in Rehab for her safety.
From that point the determination will be made if she can be safely discharged to her home or if she needs Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing for a longer duration.
But you have to stress this...say "I can not SAFELY care for mom in my home, her care is more than I can manage"