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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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You go to a lawyer and draw up a POA. It's really not all that unusual for people to appoint the next generation as their caregivers, after all, spouses are aging too.
TimeOut ... No, no no! LOL, you've hit a hot button with me. ONE person needs to be in charge of making decisions, with a back-up in case that person can't/won't act. If more than one person is named and they have joint responsibility they ALL MUST AGREE before any decision can be implemented. If there are conflicting views, when a critical medical decision is needed is no time to try to work them out!
Mom can help avoid problems by being as clear as she can be in spelling out her own wishes in the health care directive. But no document can anticipate all possibilities and so she must name someone she trusts to make decisions in accordance with what they know of her own attitudes and beliefs. She has decided that that person is Chris. Deciding that it should Chris and her husband would play into -- not avoid -- the family conflicts.
If there is time, I would advice Chris to at least pay lipservice to listening to Mom's husband when decisions have to be made. To not shut him out. But to keep clearly in mind that Mom made this decision deliberately and it is Chris's responsibility to make the decisions. (If such a situation arises. Mom may be able to make her own decisions the rest of her life.)
Mom should visit an Elder Law attorney to see that all her ducks are in a row and all her decisions are written up in a way that will be enforceable where she lives.
Give your Mom a hug for getting things in place. Many of us don't really do that well!
POA stands for Power of Attorney. Also have your mom make a living will or advanced care directive, which indicates what she wants as far as care near the end of her life (extraordinary measures or a feeding tube for example). Depending on how old your mom is, she might want a DNR (do not resuscitate) order created and kept on file (by you) with her doctor, the hospital where she might go and on her refrigerator. Here's a good article about the whole thing: mayoclinic/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/living-wills/art-20046303 If they take out that link, just google Mayo Clinic and Living Wills.
Visit an attorney. POA is for financial authority and often drawn up at the same time as a health care proxy. This paper has different names in different parts of the country. The attorney will go through many situations and clearly document your authority on a legally binding paper. Then, you just need to be sure to present it at the hospital or facility where your Mom is.
I don't know what the situation is here exactly, but my 5-cents worth is that it would be nice if you and her husband could take joint responsibility. Conflicting views in families causes such a strain on everyone involved.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Mom can help avoid problems by being as clear as she can be in spelling out her own wishes in the health care directive. But no document can anticipate all possibilities and so she must name someone she trusts to make decisions in accordance with what they know of her own attitudes and beliefs. She has decided that that person is Chris. Deciding that it should Chris and her husband would play into -- not avoid -- the family conflicts.
If there is time, I would advice Chris to at least pay lipservice to listening to Mom's husband when decisions have to be made. To not shut him out. But to keep clearly in mind that Mom made this decision deliberately and it is Chris's responsibility to make the decisions. (If such a situation arises. Mom may be able to make her own decisions the rest of her life.)
Mom should visit an Elder Law attorney to see that all her ducks are in a row and all her decisions are written up in a way that will be enforceable where she lives.
Give your Mom a hug for getting things in place. Many of us don't really do that well!