My brothers say she shouldn't pay me, she says she should, or would feel like a burden, it's causing a huge family argument which is upsetting my mother/ What is a reasonable amount to pay for room and board/ She has a bedroom, bath and parlor and all her things and mine have had to go into storeage.
I think that Mom's bills (credit card, insurance, clothing, storage, etc.) should be paid directly from Mom's account. Don't mix your funds and her funds in the same account.
If Mom does not have a healthcare directive, a POA document, and a will, now would be a good time to see an attorney who specializes in Elder Law and have these documents drawn up. While you are there get a simple room and board agreement (and if appropriate a care agreement) drawn up.
As to how much, that depends on what the going rate in your area is, and what your mother can afford.
I firmly believe we should give our parents the dignity of paying their own way, to the extent that than can, for as long as they can.
Your brothers are way off base. Send them a copy of the agreement(s) you have drawn up.
my bil he stays at his moms house rent free ,food free ,bills free ,plus she pays him weekly to stay and sit with her . cheaper than hiring a nanny .
my dad pays me monthly and id pay all my bills and whats left of it is none . he stays at my home .
so 700 a month is real cheap . i wish i could pay my bills 700 a month but it isnt 700 a month . its 3 times more than that !
tell ur brother to stick his nose somewhere eles . u shouldnt have to do that for free , ask him to ck around and see how much it is to hire someone to sit with her and maybe he;ll shut his mouth real quick once he finds out the $$$ ching changgg .
In spite of that rule, mom pays me $1000 a month. I take it knowing it will all have to be paid back if/when she goes on Medicaid. I can easily afford to do that. It's just something that makes ME feel better for all the things I do for her.
I'm NOT sure what Medicaid rules are regarding helping with utilities and food. If they treat that the same way, I'd say seniors are getting HORRIBLE representation in Congress. Paying those kinds of bills should be a given.
So, then it becomes what's fair for THAT. If there are three of you in the house, you, your spouse and mom, then "fair" is everything split three ways: all utilities, real estate taxes, food and repairs. 'Course that's "The World According to Maggie."
Too bad your brother even knows about your arrangement. It's none of his business. Tell him that, if mom wants to move in with him and he can provide the same care you're providing, he should invite your mom with him for half the year. Most likely, that'll shut him up.
If she is still able to at least sign her name on a check why not have her sign the checks after you fill in the amount being carefull to note the reason for the payment.Also keep a simple note book with all of her expences and income. you can also charge her mileage for anywhere you take her. use the standard rate but remember Dr appts are at the lesser medical mileage. do not use cash so there is a paper trail for medicare to follow. I am not familioar with care agreements but that sounds an excellent idea if she is able to pay you above and beyond basic necessities.
Yes family should help family but it should not put them in the poor house especially if the caregiver has to give upp otside employment.