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She is 89 years old and has mild dementia. Her doctors have treated her for urinary tract infections (3 times), vaginal infections, given her diazipan, melatonin, the Z medicines, etc. She does not like milk. The family is really sleep deprived. Any suggestions?

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If you have confirmed the pads are not wet, I'd suspect that it's really a sleep disorder and/or OCD. My LO used to check things like how many cans of cat food she had, who's car was in the neighbor's drive way, etc. She'd go into the kitchen, count them, return to chair, half hour later, repeat. It was a compulsion due to her dementia. Medication helped her. I'd ask about a sleep aid too.
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I'm going to suggest that perhaps she isn't waking up because of the wet pad but she notices the pad because she wakes up. Sleep disturbances are a problem for a lot of elders, especially those with dementia and can be very difficult to treat, my mom's doctor gave her mirtazapine to help with her wakefulness and agitation at night and it worked wonderfully for us, it also made her more like her old self during the day. You could also try an overnight rated pull up instead of the pads, the higher absorbency should wick moisture away from the skin.
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mbrucet Oct 2018
Thank you Cwillie: We have had pull ups on her for years. She suggested pads. The pads are not wet and do not smell. I am going to ask her PCP about the mirtazapine. Thank you.
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Senior “spritzers” are not fun, especially for women. No one likes feeling wet all the time. Does she truly have an overactive bladder or a leakage problem? There are meds for that. You can also monitor her fluid intake in the evening. Keep an eye on her personal hygiene as well. My mom had chronic uti’s and in the ER, the nurse once told me her hygiene was lacking. What about getting her a bedside commode?
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