She’s lonely, my father died in 2017. She lived in another state until a year ago when I moved her out here with me. She cries and repeats stories. I want her to be happy. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, moderate stage, this past February 2022. I’ve noticed she’s different ever since I moved her out here with me. I used to talk to her on the phone and she repeated stories. I thought it was her aging but after I brought her out here and had her tested by a clinical psychologist and an MRI from her neurologist, they told me she has Alzheimer’s. She denies she has it, said she doesn’t feel different and asks over and over if she seems different to me. YES! She keeps repeating stories as if she’s saying it for the first time. She’s exhausting. She lived with me for 6 weeks and I moved her into an independent living apartment and she cries so much about being alone and missing my dad. I just want her to be happy so, I spend time with her, going to the movies, buying her books, sending her uplifting cards but she continued to need more and more attention. She’s critical of me. Tells me I’m fat about 4x a day so, I gave up exercising and did gain about 20 pounds. She’s always criticized my weight. So that’s normal, I just can’t take it like I used to. Especially when I do exercise and eat healthy. It’s easier to just eat the foods she eats than argue about it with her. She’s eventually going to need a power of attorney, which is me. She seems ok with doing that. I’ve had to help her with bills and paid hers before because she’s forgetting. I can’t live with her but there are days when I think I can. It’s emotionally exhausting. When I can’t take it anymore she tells me not to raise my voice at her and she starts crying. That haunts me the rest of the day, and I don’t want to be that way to her. I love her and I really want her to live near me. She’s going thru a lot. Idk if she can date having Alzheimer’s. I can see if there are elderly men on dating sites but I also don’t trust that people are honest and I don’t want to invite someone into her life with ill intentions. I’m at my wits end, need advice. It is good to get this out.
Maybe a shared room would be just the ticket for her.
Please don't beat yourself up. Alzheimer is hard to deal with and you are only human. Learning to walk away, hang up, change the subject are ways to stop reacting to her broken brain babble.
Welcome to the forum, I hope you find answers and strength here.
Great big warm hug!
She absolutely does not belong in independent living. Of course she's lonely and sad -- she can't function well enough to make a social life. She should be evaluated for memory care, then placed where they have different levels of care. She's still high-functioning, so she should be able to be with other high-functioning MC residents, but as time goes on, she's going to have a social life NEXT to others, not so much WITH others. Ideally her living situation is compatible with those degrees of change so you don't have to move her again.