I’ll start by saying I don’t know what else to do. I live in another state and my mom has been seeing what she calls carpet beetles now for about 8 months. Multiple people have been in there to look, and nobody sees anything. Nothing, much less an infestation.
The apartment complex sprays each month, the property manager was up there with two maintenance men and did not see anything. A carpet cleaner saw nothing, I hired an outside pest control to come and he saw nothing. She says, they’re in her food now, her clothes, and in her body now. She’s mad I won’t believe her and that no one is sticking up for her. She wants to report the apartment complex for not doing anything about the problem, but I told her they will terminate her lease and she’ll have to have a plan B.
As for a doctor? I’ve tried several times to get ahold of them leaving several messages. I realize she needs a diagnosis. But with me out of state, and her with little money, I’m not sure she’ll go to the doctor to get the diagnosis she needs, take any medication they may give, or have this delusion of bugs ended once and for all. Has anyone had a loved one create this type of thing? How did you deal with it? I do have medical POA. If she gets a medical assessment, how would you proceed? Is it safe for her to even live alone?
How understanding is your boss or supervisor? Because, you really need to take some time off to handle this. It’s not something you can do over the phone. Find out when you can get some time off and make a bona fide doctor’s appointment, face to face with her doctor. Get her there somehow, even if you have to fib to her. She needs to be evaluated for possible placement in a facility. Do some online research about the facilities in her, or your area if moving her closer to you is an option.
Unfortunately, if she has dementia, there is no reverse gear. She will develop more and more issues as time goes on, and st some point you will have to face the upheaval of placement. It’s better to have a plan in place sooner rather than later.
If it's dementia she's dealing with, it's probably NOT safe for her to be living alone any longer. You may want to look into applying for Medicaid to get her placed in a Skilled Nursing Facility sooner rather than later, since the government tends to drag their heels in general.
Best of luck.......I know how hard it is to be far away. I had to move both my folks out to Colorado from Florida back in 2011 when Dad couldn't drive anymore. I feel your pain.
and not only do they hallucinate but they also believe the hallucinations are real
this is the dangerous part I’m scared that one day they might hallucinate and leave the house on their own and get lost that happens to many seniors with mental conditions I am just as sad and scared as you are be strong keep in touch so we can vent to each other for stress relief
Also, if there are other signs of dementia this may be some hallucinating that will stay the same, leave, or get worse. You can't know until it "goes there". Good luck and let us know if you come up with any answers. I always said that every patient is a mystery. You certainly have one on your hands.
Your mother could be perceiving these creepy-crawlies for any number of reasons - neurological, psychological, eyesight-related. She needs to be examined by a qualified medical practitioner. Make it happen. Can you visit, if that's the only way? If not, is there anyone local you can delegate this to?
Until you know what's going on - which might be the beginning of a downhill slide or might be easily explained and treatable, you just don't know - there is no way to answer your other, very natural concerns.
The last 6 months, my DH swore he saw bugs crawl out of his skin but he assured me he killed them as soon as they appeared.
The HomeHealth Nurse was there and when he said it, she looked at me and just shook her head slowly - to let me know it was just another stage in the end of life for him. Praise God, it didn't last too long - but we were advised to stop his Benadryl as it causes hallucinations in the elderly, my DH was 96.5 yrs old.
Stopping his Benadryl (which he was taking to stop his itching) did help with his delusions, thankfully.
Even if you cannot be there, you need to have someone making regular visits to your mother.
At the very least, she needs to be seen weekly by HomeHealthCare. They were a definite God-send for us. We used St. Lukes.
After long research on these there are three kinds of beetles which lay eggs on your clothes in flour and other foodstuffs they are what we called clothes moths and the larvae weavles and there are real things like that too but it’s usually carpet beetle larvae. Look them up on line they are the freakiest things I’ve ever seen and my bug man knew exactly what they were and how to treat. They need treatment like bedbugs and are almost impossible to get rid of. Vacuuming several times a week is needed and a thorough cleaning of drawers and closets and the whole house must be done aggressively. Sometimes apartment complexes are in denial. Bug guys where there is not a widespread infestation may not be up to date. Mothballs in clothing areas are necessary and I put cedar, mothballs and citronella candles in my drawers.
The larvae look like land locked leeches and come in huge bunches. I didn’t see anything either until my daughter used a lint roller on the floor where she saw some. I was terrified they were everywhere and they will be if you don’t aggressively treat. Read up online and call your mom’s area companies until you find one that knows about these they can spray specifically for them. You need to put a bedbug proof zipper bag on the mattress and box springs too. They’ll die inside and fewer will get in her bed. I’m in Arizona and I thought scorpions were bad (they get inside here) but these are small and brown from thread size to maggot size but flat as they mature then they become beetles, very small ones looking like ladybugs or just black bugs as there’s three kinds. White flowers and pyracantha bushes attract them and the adults lay eggs then gather in the windowsills. These used to be a big problem in days past so older folks do know what they’re talking about and they can’t handle them alone now a days. She must be so frustrated and feeling alone and who could cope with things that get on you and look like leeches. My daughter found one in her undies and nearly had a coronary! One person said the only way to get rid of them was to strip, jump in the car that’s over 220degrees inside and leave all your belongings behind. They can even infest cars!!! They fly around lights outside at night and once you look them up you’ll start to recognize them. Usually they just eat a few clothes, you find dead larvae in the flour, no big deal but since the onset of less pesticide use we got bedbugs and carpet beetles back. Go see your Mom take help and take her to a hotel for stress relief and scrub the house, wash clothes in lots of soap and hot water clean out drawers and mothball closets and vacuum a lot. Then spray the vacuum and change the bag taking all trash outside. She may not be able to keep things as clean or be able to see as well as she used to.
After tons of research I finally got rid of mine I hope! They are under the carpet around the edges. Any spray you want to use has to say specifically it kills carpet beetle larvae.
Search amazon for carpet beetles and just google them there’s a ton of information. They are real.
Good luck with this it’s a horrible thing to happen! Be sure you don’t bring them home to you. I didn’t see them until someone pointed them out so it’s not unusual if they’re not an infestation, to see any and know what you’re seeing . After the clean up hire a cleaning company to come out and vacuum especially. Your Mom must be frantic!
C DeLacey RN
Benadryl and all antihistamines and all drugs like that have been implemented in rushing dementia along so everyone check your parents meds with a pharmacist.
Can you call her primary care doctor and speak to him/her privately and inform them of the situation and see what advice they have for you.
Even if you had to say something like, “Mom, the doctor wants to do additional lab work this month so we need to make an appointment soon.” That does actually happen at times. I had the doctor call me and request additional lab work before.
Then proceed with whatever needs to be done. Just a thought.
"She says, they’re in her food now, her clothes, and in her body now." With multiple people checking the situation, AND with her insisting they are IN her body now, more than likely this is all hallucination, but you need to determine the source. It is too easy to chalk it up to dementia. If you rule out other causes, then sure, but until you do, humor her! "She’s mad I won’t believe her and that no one is sticking up for her." Tell her you ARE working on it, that you DO believe her. Whether it is some other medical issue or the dementia, to her it IS all real!