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I have durable power of attorney and HCP. Massachusetts provides a "temporary guardianship" which we have attained through the court. It lasts 90 days. Then we have to go back and plead for a permanent guardianship. Already paid the attorney for this "permanent plea" component. The attorney, and the nursing home have to provide my mother with "notice" in written form that this was applied for. At the time she was given the document (even though we told her multiple times this was going to happen), she became very belligerent. Since then, she constantly threatens lawsuits regarding her "money" and such. The doctor invoked her Health Care Proxy some months ago. I am her health care proxy. I really don't want to go to the nursing home and have nonsense conversations, then be the target of third party comments "I should have left him on the sidewalk to die when he was born, he's not going to be in charge of me" etc. I really, truly don't want to be exposed to this. The fear is, since I stopped visiting, that I will have some sort of legal finger pointed at me going forward.
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once you get the dr letter if a poa has been done then it will activate it if no poa then you need to go to court and get listed as guarding for her. then any threats of law suits are just nonsense as she has been declared incompetent
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has a doctor declared her incompetent yet? this me and the wrote a letter that states the disease and that they can no longer make medical, financial or life decisions . if not start there. everything you have described is the disease and it will only get worse no matter where she resides. she is in the best place for care. don't feel guilty for not visiting its very hard to see the decline and even though she is your mom it doesn't mean you have to endure the abusive behavior. most with this disease too have lost track of time and it really doesn't matter if you visit every day or once every other month. my fil thought years went by between vistas when it was only a week or less. some times he thought on the same visit if he fell asleep and woke up in a 30min time span he thought a month went by. we can't feel guilty because their disease makes them do things that could make us feel bad.
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