Neither seem to be her. She refuses to shower and wash her hair although she is physically able to do so on her own. She denies how many weeks she goes without (5 has been the max) and days she’s not having a good day or doesn’t feel well EVERY day; her excuses for not showering. She gets downright nasty about it. Do I need to hire a nurse? Can they really manage to get the job done? We tried a companion type caregiver but she quit after a couple of weeks because mom was so uncooperative. What’s next?? Both parents are living in my home but my dad has not been able to convince her either. So sad to see her like this.
As far as timing between showers, if you can get your mother to sign a shower "log" or a calendar on days she takes a shower, she may become more aware of the number of days between showers.
There are many reasons a person does not like to shower.
Fear of falling or slipping
Not remembering how to shower, there are a lot of steps to taking a shower and washing.
The head and torso are vulnerable areas and that is where the water hits you so it can be frightening.
It is also very loud in the shower, the water makes noise, the bathroom usually echos a bit. (I used to turn the water off when showering my Husband. I would get him wet, turn off the water, wash him all the while talking quietly then turn the water on again)
A shower bench or chair might help. I used to buy walkers at resale shops and he would hold on the "shower walker" before we transitioned to the shower chair.