My 90 year old mothers teeth are rotting out of her head and refuses to go to the dentist. Any suggestions to get her to go?
Her diet is horrible; she basically eats sweets/baked goods all the time. In the last few months three of her front teeth have broken off. I suspect that they are full of cavities and that’s why they’re breaking off.
She is willing to go to all of her other doctor appointments without too much reluctance, she’s scheduled for cataract surgery in March, she has congestive heart failure that requires her to have a cardiologist visit every 6 months, etc. But she refuses to go to the dentist.
I called her dentist, it’s been going on 3 years since her last visit, they are adamant about getting her in, but she won’t budge.
Is it vanity/embarrassment, or is it a sign of early dementia? I’m looking to change her primary care physician, as she never seems to discover any of the real problems when my mother visits.
My biggest fear is that her gums may become infected.
Is there a way to force someone to go to the dentist?
Thanks for any suggestions.
35 Answers
Popular Questions
Related Questions
- How do you get your parent to sit on the toilet long enough to pee or poop? Mom wants to hop up after 5 to 10 seconds!
- How do I approach mom about urinating on the toilet seat?
- Grandpa has not showered/bathed in 2 years! What can I do?
- Can my 2 year old son get sick from being around my grandfather who won't shower and urinates on himself constantly?
Sounds like you have a good plan to get the cardiologist involved.
If you are changing her primary doc, I urge you to consider a geriatrician.
The technician had probably done something dumb like manhandling your mother without realising that she was hurting her. I know these people are busy and have a long patient list to get through, but I still wish they'd take just a couple of seconds to think what they're doing. Frail little old ladies hurt all over and get frightened. Do they not learn? Your poor mother. We've had similar problems with a blood pressure cuff that had a fold of skin caught in it (and the **!@! idiot nurse couldn't understand why my mother yelled her head off when it inflated), a cardiac physiologist who actually left her bruised after an echocardiogram (I reported it); and the worst incident I've seen was when two ambulance drivers came to transfer my 95 year old great aunt from one hospital to another. It was the end of their shift, they were in a hurry, but when they moved to haul her up from her chair without warning I said "hey!" and put my hand on her shoulder. They looked a bit shame-faced and started again; but if I hadn't happened to be there? She was recovering from a fractured pelvis, they'd really have hurt her just by being in too much of a rush.
It sounds to me as if your mother had a bit of a panic attack in the x-ray room; and I think it's understandable. Leave it a couple of days and then bring it up gently: "goodness, that x-ray wasn't any fun, was it..?" - kind of thing.
Whatever you do, don't clap your hands and say "Well if you think that was bad just wait 'til we get to the dentist..!" - lol. Any luck with that?
You're between a rock and a hard place, though, aren't you: the dentist won't do a home visit, your mother won't set foot inside his premises. I imagine the dentist's view is that he can't treat your mother adequately at home; while hers perhaps is that she would be entering a world of pain, fear and possibly shame. Was she ever good about going?
The only thing I can think of is asking her doctors - ideally the cardiologist but whichever she trusts most will do - to read her the Riot Act and get heavy about the additional serious risk she's running because of her frail health. If she gets abscesses she's going to be in big, big trouble.
Can you scare her into agreeing just to a check up, hold any treatment for now? - And make sure the dentist understands that he must on no account hurt or frighten her. Good luck!
Having difficulty rising has more to do with the weak knee than the hip.
How ever bad the x-ray looks don't consider surgery unless it is very painful. Hip surgery is very hard on the body as there is a lot of blood loss, knees they can tourniquet. Does she have OA or RA? R/A is inflammatory O/A is plain old wear and tear. There are treatments for R/A other than surgery to reduce the inflammation.
You also say she is on multiple drugs and the cardiologist just added Digoxin. Did he also tell you to check her pulse before she takes a dose. The usual recommendation is to with hold the dose if the pulse is less than 60. if it's too low she may pass out.
Does her A Fib come and go ie is her pulse regular at times and at others fast and/or all over the place difficult to count.
As my infirmatys progress drugs are changed and discontinued and I get some side effects.
I made myself a chart with the list of drugs down one side and then I looked up the side effects for each and for each drug listed the side effect I could recognize across the top. When I had finished I was able to see which drugs had many side effects in common and understand better what was happening and question the need for the worst medications. You also need to note the interactions so you don't give the wrong things together. I know this is a lot if you don't have a medical background
Many drugs your mother is probably taking may contribute to her weakness/dizzynes so it really helps to be aware.
Now to the dentist. do you think he would be willing to call her and invite her in. He can tell he already knows how bad her teeth are and how painful they must be and wants to help. Dental infections are definitely a risk to all hearts healthy or not. Sedation or anesthesia will allow him to get the job done quickly with fewer visits. He may want her to be on an antibiotic for a few days before he starts.
As far as the x-ray experience is concerned I would be inclined not to mention it unless she does. If she needs more then is the time to tell her you will be in the room and make sure they don't hurt her again. There is no reason you can't be at her side and help position You just need to go out while the film is taken - a few seconds. As was suggested get another opinion about the cateracts, they can indeed progress very quickly but only go ahead if she really wants it and you really feel it will improve her quality of life.
Resist any further investigations unless you are sure you want to treat the condition that is uncovered. Remember old people are great money makers.
if a colonoscopy was recommended would you put your mother through that and proceed with bowel surgery and a possible colostomy. I wouldn't I would call Hospice ASAP. I know people want their parents to live for ever but do they want them to suffer forever too?
See All Answers