Mother running out of money paying her assisted living facility. I will start using my money to pay her bill. How do I get her SS deposit?

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Mother running out of money paying her assisted living facility. I will start using my money to pay her bill. How do I get her SS deposit?

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She will be 93 this January, she gets a little over $2,000.00 a month in Social Security and her monthly assisted living bill is close to $7,000.00 a month. I will pay the difference using my money. What should I do to get her SS deposit each month to help pay the bill? Should I open a checking account with my name and hers? Should I have her SS deposit then sent to that account in both of our names? Should I have her SS deposit sent directly to the Assisted Living facility?
My accountant says that once I start paying her rent I can list her as a dependent on my Income Tax. I live in Florida and she lives in Colorado.
Thank you for your assistance

Assisted Living Claiming Elderly Dependent Government Benefits Long-distance Caregiving Paying for Care

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Perhaps you are of the means that can help her out without making much a difference in your life. Otherwise, do the elderly waiver .I know it will mean a smaller apartment but is that so bad.

In general, bad to get into the precedent of using your own money as it never ends.

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Reply to Karsten

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This is a post from July.

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Reply to JoAnn29

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How has it been being done heretofore?
As far as paying, she has been presumably using her SS all along?

I would speak with the facility about all this. They are the best ones to guide you.

I would caution you, unless you are independently VERY WELL OFF and I am talking well over 1M, you should not be using your own money for your mother's care. You will need it for your own. It honestly takes a lifetime of savings to make yourself safe in aging.

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Reply to AlvaDeer

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Apply for Medicaid. Do not use your own funds. You will need to be able to take care of yourself when you are on a fixed income.

Consult a good eldercare lawyer in Colorado to find out what the options are.

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Reply to Hothouseflower

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if you have access to the account her social security goes to, write checks as POA from that account then cover the rest is what I would do.

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Reply to Curiousamypoa

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KEEP YOUR FINANCES SEPARATE. I have access thru POA for my mothers checking account. I have never co-mingled accounts, and when mom needed to apply for medicaid, a Qualified Income Trust was set up for mom's money. While my name is on the QIT, mom's has her own checking. The elder care lawyer was pleased that I never co-mingled monies. Check with an elder care lawyer. I know they can be expensive, but worth it in the long run. Medicaid may end up taking your checking into qualifying for assistance.

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Reply to dogwithav

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See if Colorado has a government program that assists when elders have exhausted their own funds. In Minnesota it's called the Elderly Waiver. My mom benefits from reduced rent, and personal cares, while transitioning to Medicaid. This was available in her assisted living, and to Memory Care.

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Reply to Momskids

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Yes, the unit she lives in will also accept her when she goes on medicaid. Unfortunately the unit that she would be in on Medicaid is a lot smaller than the unit she is living in now.

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JJJEETER: You should NEVER use your own financials to pay for your mother's care as you will need them for your own elder years. Your mother pays for her care, perhaps through Medicaid.

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Reply to Llamalover47

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Yes, I agree. When we, the caregivers (I am 75), get to the point we need to have the specialized care our parents are getting now, it will be far more expensive. We love our parents, but we also have a responsibility to ourselves and our own children who in all likelihood will be in our situation now. We must do our best to not burden our children and be as responsible as we can for ourselves. We can save and save, but we may (unless we are ultrawealthy) very easily outlive our own resources. If our parents have to give up some of the living conditions to which they have become accustomed, then so be it. My mother does not look forward to the day she may have to share a room in a skilled nursing care (she is now in AL but is very close to needing a place with more care), but that may be in her future. If so, she will run out of money more quickly if she has a private room. We all have to be responsible and practical and adapt to our situation to some extent, even if we are very old. I know I will not sacrifice my husband's future in his old age in order to keep my mother in the manner to which she thinks she needs. It sounds harsh, but we do our very best for our parents, but I also know that I do not want MY children to sacrifice THEIR futures for us. I think our parents, also, thought this about us. We are not abandoning them at all, but we need to draw the line on how much time and money we NEED to spend to accomplish what our parents may think they need to live comfortably and safely.

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It's definitely worth checking into which facilities in her area take Medicaid. I live in Colorado Springs and have been researching for my Mom. There are several very decent-looking memory cares in our city that take Medicaid...via the "PACE" program that's sort of a Medicaid program (the ones I visited aren't not super flashy as amenities go, but seem safe and clean and one even has big apartments). There are also regular neighborhood houses that serve as small-scale (more personal) care options..."residential care" is what they are called in our city...for both Assisted Living ("New Day Cottages" is the name) AND Memory Care ("Constant Care" homes is the name)...all of these take Medicaid. Again, that's just in this city. I don't know where she is. If you're looking at another city, I recommend calling "Care Patrol" (search online for your local rep) and they can give recommendations on the best places near her that take Medicaid. I will add that these places I mentioned (and I also visited 2 Memory Care facilities)...they ALL have at least a 1 year private-pay requirement before they accept Medicaid/PACE. So, it's best to get in now, so you can pay for 1-2 years (a couple of the residential homes require 2!) before counting on utilizing that government assistance.

But don't assume that she's destined for Skilled Nursing (a more medically-focused, traditional "nursing home") just because she gets onto Medicaid...at least in Colorado. It seems to be one of the "better" states when it comes to finding non-Skilled Nursing places that are Medicaid-certified. And, again, please contact a Care Patrol rep (in her city) to help you (I don't work for them, but they have helped me a lot...at no cost to me or the potential resident)!! :)

It sounds like she would definitely qualify for Medicaid in Colorado (@ $2k per month SS coming in), if her money is spent down and she doesn't still own a house or have any penalty issues to deal with (having gifted $$ in the past 5 years). DO see an elder law attorney to double check though.

Best wishes! I hope you don't end up spending your own money...it doesn't sound like you need to do that, unless you REALLY love the place she's in and it doesn't end up being Medicaid-certified.

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Reply to momdaughter82

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See an attorney; one that handles elder trusts.
An attorney will know differing state laws as well as what you can do legally regarding a dependent.

Individual situations as well as state laws are very different so never rely on specific responses here. For sure, well intended ... although legal advice will insure your specific legal requirements are addressed.

Gena / Touch Matters

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Reply to TouchMatters

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I live in Ohio with my mom and I’m on her account and pay her bills for her . She’s in the nursing home side and not assisted living . But once she has depleted her income and she is below 2,000 get her on Medicade . Does she still own her house at all? If so that can be sold to help pay for her assisted living. If it’s already sold then she can apply for Medicade just make sure her account is less than 2,000 . That’s the amount in Ohio I’m not sure what it is in Colorado

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Reply to Rose61mary

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Not many assisted living facilities take Medicaid. Most are private pay.

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Wow. I would strongly recommend getting with a licensed elder care attorney in the state where your mom is; believe you said Colorado. Each State's laws and regulations of AL facilities is entirely different. Even if you can pay the "rent," there may come a time that your mom needs skilled nursing home care (aka SNFs generally have more medical in nature than ALs) AND her current AL may insist she move to a SNF. Of course your mom's AL may indeed be a Medicare and Medicaid qualified facility, but this is key and you need to check.

If her AL is also a Medicare and Medicaid SNF, she potentially could "spend down" and Medicaid thereafter would pay the monthly fee. But this all depends on how her current AL is licensed. Many ALs are NOT Medicare and Medicaid qualified, which means a move to such a facility may be necessary if she declines and really needs more medical-related care than her AL can provide. Best to prepare ahead rather than when this might rise as an emergency.

Assuming you have a valid POA, you can seek to be the "representative payee" but that is a lot of paperwork. If she is mobile and has capacity (does not have dementia) she could go to her bank add you to her bank account, may take some preparation for them to accept you remotely, but most things can be done this way now. Assuming the SS check is an automatic deposit that lands in her checking account AND if you are added to her account; you can write checks (or pay on-line) assuming the AL has the pay-online option (easier, given you are in a different state).

An elder care attorney can help you with all this, and importantly to have a plan for the future if her AL is not a SNF and she needs more care. Not sure about "claiming her as a dependent" for tax purposes; but an attorney should be asked about that if at some point downstream she needs Medicaid to pick up bills.

Good luck with this

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Reply to Sohenc

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Wow stop. Don’t use your money. Once she has depleted her funds there are many programs to fund her care. Medicaid is just one. Be thankful it is not your spouse where joint assets come into play.

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Reply to Sample

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From what I understand, you should speak to assisted living. They can offer you options. If she was there at least two years, then they should take her SS as monthly payment, and that should be it. Good luck! God bless!

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Reply to Theresej

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Maybe you can find a nice Long-term care facility that takes Medicaid instead of paying outbof your pocket.

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Reply to JoAnn29

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I would never pay for a parent’s care out of my own money nor would my parent let me! You need to get her on Medicaid ASAP! You need your hard earned money for YOUR future!
First thing to do is you MUST get an elder law attorney! Boy, are they helpful and know all the ins and outs of the laws with regards to Medicaid, SS, investments and how to protect them, etc.
I give you credit in the kindness and sacrifice you’ve shown to take your life and devote it to your mother. But, you need to give that up and think of what will happen if YOU become incapacitated and need your money? Get an elder law attorney as soon as you can! Good luck to you!

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Reply to Katybr

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My late widowed father was in assisted living for three years and in a nursing home for three more years. He received a pension from our late mother (she took a reduced benefit so he could get it if she died first and vice versa for his pension). He had a pension of his own and Social Security. His children got his house ready to sell and sold a number of his possessions (car, several antique cars, and firearms). All four of his children pledged to pay $50,000 each for his care so he wouldn't have to go on Medicaid (none of us were "rich") and it would have been a sacrifice, but we would all done this willingly. As it turned out, he could have still afforded another 1.5-2 years as a private-pay resident...and each of his children still inherited almost $50,000 each and split the proceeds of his small life insurance policy.

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Why not have the SS check sent directly to the AL? You can still pay the remainder of her monthly rent, claim her as a dependent, and this avoids any entanglement with SS. Believe me, when your mother passes, SS will be notified at lightning speed. With both my parents this was done within a day by the funeral home and there were no further payments

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Reply to Daughterof1930

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Start with SS to be sure you are doing everything legally. It is not as simple as adding your name to her account. If not done properly, having more than one name on an account can make both parties liable in the event of lawsuits or bankruptcy. Your mom is blessed to have you able to help, but life happens and at anytime she or you may have a personal catastrophe and be unable to pay. Doing it properly from the beginning will make it easier should she ever need medicaid or face another unforeseen financial event in the future.

Even with my husband and I having joint accounts, we went through the process to be sure I had access to his funds because he began to decline physically and cognitively. We decided to do it sooner rather than later because it was easier with him signing the application agreeing rather than needing SS to appoint me later.

Our credit union told us exactly how to set up a special checking account to receive his SS funds. Legally the funds have to be used for his benefit so I set up withdrawals for the mortgage, utilities, and other major monthly household expenses. When we begin to have out-of-pocket caregiving expenses, I will then substitute those expenses from that account. This way at any point I have to justify how his money was used, all I have to do is pull the statements for the account. We have joint accounts to keep other income and expenses totally separate.

Check out: https://www.ssa.gov/payee/faqrep.htm?tl=7%2C8%2C9%2C10%2C11%2C15%2C18%2C22%2C27%2C34

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Reply to KPWCSC

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I know that this is slightly off-issue, however, it is quite important to take some steps now.

If your Mom is in reasonably sound mind and body, get her to add your name to her banking accounts, especially the one with Social Security and the one that any bills will be paid out of. If the bank accounts are in the name of a trust, ensure there is a successor trustee. Should your Mom become unable to sign her name to checks or authorize you (which I know is hard to believe), that joint ownership will allow you to pay her bills and accept money on her behalf.

If you are not a person who is authorized to see her Social Security information, do the appropriate paperwork or call in so that she can verbally make the authorization to authorize you permanently. A POA is not recognized by Social Security.

If your Mom becomes unable to talk or verbally authorize you in the future (due to dementia or any emergency situation), you will be incapable of accessing her funds or discussing her situation unless you are the co-owner or authorized to discuss her Medicare on her behalf.

With all the scams that are going on with the elderly, banks are and should be tightening up the rules as to who can access the elderly person's money. Once the person dies, it becomes even more uncertain unless a person has been given authorization by the owner, ahead of time.

My Mom passed at the end of December. She has a very simple estate with no question on who is going to get what. She owns a single piece of property, which is rented. In my state, we are waiting for the county to give us the authorization to go ahead with the division of her real estate, over 7 months later. Luckily, my Mom put my sister on her checking account, so HOA fees, property taxes, insurance, etc. can still be paid with authorization from my sister. My Mom had a CD which just renewed at nearly 0 percent, because her estate is not settled and she gave no one the authorization to liquidate the account so that it could earn higher interest at renewal time.

So I suggest that you do what other people have suggested: 1) add your name to her accounts as co-owner or POD and/or make sure you have a successor trustee named if anything is in the name of her trust 2) keep your money and her money separate 3) keep track of all the bills and who paid what. If she is going to go on Medicaid, you will need all that documentation for the application.

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Reply to ChoppedLiver

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Thanks so much.

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Just add your name to her existing account. Moving SS deposits can take several months to complete.

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Reply to my2cents

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As a current payee representative several times for different people for social security benefits, I recommend you contact social security directly and request being made her payee rep. If this is the only income coming in your mother's account this should be easy enough. If you have her pertinent information you can set up online by going to ssa.gov and establish an account for her. Unfortunately sign-on has become more encrypted and now you are required to have a federal national .id to access. This will be explained as well on the site.

Once you are approved for payee.. if done correctly you can be approved online that day, you will be the only one who can sign off of any transaction related to this account. If there is anyone else on her account they will have to be taken off, again you are the only one that can sign off auto or by check. Any auto payments can remain but I would not allow any assisted living facility to do an auto withdrawal. Too much room for error. You will also report annually to SSA how her benefits were spent. Yours should be easy as all of it will be used for her monthly payment to the facility. I would also leave her account separate. Gets too messy mixing funds.

Also make sure to check with your accountant to see how you would be reimbursed from her estate, if any. I have not research this yet, but I have heard recently of grants available for help. I know nothing of the qualifications or requirements so you may need to check it out. Does your mother have no assets other than SS income.

Good luck, and hope this helps you.

YorkRiverLady

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Reply to YorkRiverLady

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Thank you for your suggestion, She runs out of her assets at the end of August. I will be paying her rent starting in September using her SS income.

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Jjeeter, I would encourage you to become a signer on her account. This would be the best way for you to access her funds.

I would also encourage you to NOT let the facility withdraw funds from any account, do a scheduled bank check or EFT that you have to do, not them.

The reason for not giving them access, if there is a problem or a move, you could be dealing with them taking money they are not owed.

I would require a bill monthly that breaks down the charges for tax purposes.

Your mom is very blessed to have you. May The Lord be with you both during this season of life.

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Reply to Isthisrealyreal

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Thank you for your suggestion

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Instead of using your money to pay the difference could your momma qualify for Medicaid?

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Reply to akababy7

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Yes, she could apply for medicaid however she currently lives in a 3 room assisted living unit and loves it there. If they put her on Medicaid she would have to go into a one room unit. I don't want her to lose her current facility.

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In a response below you mentioned that you are capable of paying for her AL rent of $7K "for the rest of her life"... but are you aware that that amount will increase as her needs and level of care do? If she needs MC or LTC it can go beyond $12K a month depending on where she lives.

I have an Aunt who is 105 and has no health problems or conditions except an eye issue, so nothing that's going to take her any time soon. Is there a lot of longevity on your Mom's side? You should consult with a financial planner to extrapolate cost scenarios if she lives to 100 or beyond.

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Reply to Geaton777

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Thanks, I believe that if she became incompetent that I could just let her go on Medicaid, but that would put her in a much smaller room. I guess if the cost increases that much I would just have to let her go on Medicaid.

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Just go to bank with Mom, and add your name on her account, and order new checks. Keep the same checking account and number! You can pull from that account and add your extra funds every month.

You don't want to mess with her Social Security Direct Deposit.
You definitely want that tax deduction! Save all proof of what you paid directly from your money.

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Reply to Dawn88

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When my father was in AL I had the monthly cost automatically pulled from his account each month. Could you do the same but with two accounts?

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Reply to lkdrymom

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Not sure, Have to fill out a autopay form for the AL facility. Can ask them if they can take money out of two different accounts. Thanks, that might work for me. I'll let you know what they say.

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Do not co mingle money. Are you able to afford paying the difference for a long period of time? I would not recommend doing that unless you can easily afford it.

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Reply to lkdrymom

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Yes, I am capable of paying her rent for the rest of her life. That is not an issue for me. My question is really about how to use her SS money to help pay the monthly rent.

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Mother running out of money paying her assisted living facility. I will start using my money to pay her bill. How do I get her SS deposit?

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