My 95 year old mother with dementia is "rocking" the toilet from the floor bolts. When she moves to get up (and yes, she has a bar to grab on the wall next to the toilet) or move forward so I can clean her, she waddles back and forth so now the toilet is no longer connected correctly. Plumber will need to do some special welding of the flange and ring, and put a heavier-duty toilet in, $800 bill to fix!!! Has anyone ever had this happen? How did you solve it? What kind of toilet do you think would work best? It's the only bathroom, and considering that my bathroom looks more and more like a hospital toilet, I am not adding more crazy contraptions.
Your plumber may be talking about one with a wider base to increase stability.
On the expense. The commode in my aunts bath began to leak around the base, like the seal was broken. A plumber was called who wanted to charge $400 to reinstall two commodes. Her commodes weren't worn. This was not replacing the commodes but there was a "flange" discussion. We had him fix the seal while I thought about the repair.
Meanwhile, Aunt was stuffing the commode with tissue and causing additional problems, I was referred to a different plumber by the city who came for this problem. Cleaned all the lines, did the flange work and adjusted a sink all for $250. I would get a second opinion before paying $800. That might be a good price but it doesn't hurt to shop it.
You aren't going to be able to get you mom to stop rocking. I'd try to get one of the options recommended to assist her.
What I would love to have is one of the trapeze bars they use in hospitals over the bath tub.
I can get in and lie down for a good soak but trying to get out is the fight of my life so I only tried that once. So the tub is out and that leaves the shower. I am too unsteady on my feet to just stand there snd soap up so my solution has been to sit on a shower chair with an hand held shower so I have a sponge shower but at least I can get washed and do it independently.
I won't go into the public toilet fiasco.
I have recommended commodes. If using, you should receive a bucket and a splashguard. You will use the guard. Take off the bar on the back. Commode's legs can be adjusted . Just make sure the guard edge is in the bowl.
OK, so I know I am supposed to not care as long as she is happy and safe. But my surroundings have always affected my temperament and mood--I need a calm, quiet, beautiful house. Am I going to have to go back on antidepressants to get by? Maybe it's time to move her to a facility.
But thank you all for trying to help me.
The bars that she grabs onto should be placed at the right distance and the right angle. In some cases you might want to stick two bars, parallel to one another to allow her pull herself up, one step at a time. I have three bars in one bathroom Two directly in front of me and one on my weak side. In another bathroom, I have only one bar and that one is on my strong side. Your mother has to be there to work with you to determine the exact position and angle that works best for her.
Fixing the rocking toilet is only necessary maintenance. It will not help her to stand. Proper installation of the grab bars will mitigate your mother's problem of going from a sitting position to a standing position.
At some point as caregivers we must realize that we can not "do it all"
When I was caring for my Husband I said I would keep him at home as long as it was safe. Safe for him and safe for me.
It sounds like it has reached a point where it may not be safe for your mom to remain in your home. When a person can no longer use the equipment in a home without drastic modifications or turning to the use of commercial grade equipment it is not safe. (Unless the modifications are made)
And it sounds like you need a place a "sanctuary" for yourself for your mental and emotional well being. And there is NOTHING wrong with that. You have your battles and you need to care for yourself as well as caring for your mom. You, with luck will outlive your mom, that is how it should be so you need to care for yourself.
I will bet you will be a better caregiver with her in a place that can more safely care for your mom with her needs. I can tell you she will not get easier to maneuver, she will not become more agile. She may soon need (if she doesn't now) a Sit-to-stand or a Hoyer lift. And with that probably another person to help with transfers. Transfers can be difficult and unsafe with one person particularly if the person being moved is resistant or over weight.
This is a big decision and possibly a painful one. So boil it down to the one important thing as I did SAFETY. What happens to mom if you are hurt while moving her off the toilet or to the bed. While you are immobile for a while where would she go?
Jackie, Its critical that there is an emergency plan that is REALISTIC. Please think that if right now Sunday morning you were outside doing gardening and a fire broke out in your home, could your mom totally on her own get herself up and out? If she is needing 24/7 oversight / monitoring of her ADLs, she needs a team for caregiving. If you don’t have that, please start looking for a NH for her. If there’s a spend down needed, see an elder law atty as to what options may be possible.
As an aside on this, my mom was in IL in a 3rd fl corner apt. The IL did monthly fire drills & all residents were expected to get out of their apt, get down via the stairwells and go to a designated spot in the parking lot. If not, they were assessed as to why and if it was tied to needing a higher level of care.
so it sits 1 1/2 inch in the bowel then it is 6 inches high .sorry but this is a contraption you need to get i think even walgreens sells them
&definitly a health store do supply that is .it might be a good buy you may need it when you get old to ok good luck
If your unwilling to give up function for fashion-I have no advice beyond to try and not be a fashion victim:). It will all pass and you can have the bathroom back .
Id also get other estimates of the toilet fix. It could be it needs a new ring to seal it correctly. They get old and become loose. It could just need just the bolts re-tightened. If you get a couple of estimates, then you will know the real cost. Unless the toilet porcelain bottom is cracked, no need for a new toilet. Im sure you can find someone to do it cheaper. All that welding sounds odd to me, but I havent seen the toilet. You can also look up the problem how to fix a loose/rocking toilet easy on youtube.
The toilet can be pulled and a new wax seal installed for about $75.00. There is probably nothing wrong with the toilet, it will be reinstalled with new bolts. Then get her a higher toilet seat https://www.walgreens.com/store/c/essential-medical-elongated-toilet-seat-riser/ID=prod6095622-product?ext=msnKBM_PLA_-_Home_Medical&kpid=sku6085958&sst=c3ff841e-19b0-403b-bc7d-f2a0e39c78b2&msclkid=43437f05ff2019afed7323060129621f
Good luck to you.
Im not a plumber but what welding are they doing? The flange part that attaches to the pipe in the floor is plastic in most cases and the ring is wax. Again I havent seen your toilet. A friend or family member can look up how to replace these parts online. Lots of tutorials on how to fix it.
Toilets become loose over the years. We use them mult times a day for decades. These things happen. I hope you can find a family member/friend handyman to replace the parts. Good luck. Save yourself $$$.
If your mom is 95, I'm guessing you're 65 or better. It sounds like you're doing a lot of very hands-on, physical caregiving. Maybe it's time for AL for mom. Don't risk your own body. If mom shifts her weight suddenly or you twist your body in an awkward way, you're in for a long recovery and maybe never getting back to full function. You'll be no good to her and you won't be able to have any of the long, happy senior years your mom has had.
other idea is a bedside commode, although that’s more labor intensive because it’s doesn’t “flush” it away.
If you’re paying $800 to FIX the existing toilet, you’re overpaying. You can get a whole new toilet installed for that!
I understand the need to not transform the house too much but if you can't do what she needs done and to save the toilet , she may need a home.
Good luck
Their condo is on a slab foundation. Before getting the toilet replaced in their second bathroom, I ground down high areas in the cement and filled low areas with cement patch, which was difficult and messy work. If the plumber had to do this prep work, it would have cost significantly more money than a normal toilet install.
In another home, after pulling a rocking toilet, I had to cut out and replace part of the sub floor, beef up the rotting floor joists below, and replace the flange before installing a new toilet. The floor was rocking along with the toilet!
So yes, some rocking toilet solutions can be very labor intensive for a do-it-yourselfer or costly for a licensed plumber working at $65/hour.