She did go to a centre for 'depressed' people and they diagnosed her as 'early onset; of dementia in Jan'13 but discharged her in March'13! We don't know where/who to turn to and the situation is really really bad. She is an insulin dependent diabetic and has beaten cancer twice but 2 days ago after being off cigarettes for 20 years my Dad rang very upset to say that she had bought 20 cigarettes and was puffing away on them! I had a party for Mum in my house 2 wks ago but she is denying there was any birthday cake/candles/party food etc and is also calling my son(her grandson whom I know she adores)a liar when he told her there was a party! We are at our wits end and worried the next violent episode could lead to sdomething far worse. She has held a knife to my Dad and hurls vile abuse at him and us but we know its not her fault. The system here has really failed her and us and we would love advice on what to do. Thanks (Ireland)
Another poster on this board (also from Ireland, I believe) was living alone with his mum who was quite far gone with dementia. her doctor kept saying that there was nothing he could do...until the son said he was going to walk away. Emergency services came and got her, and she was found to have VERY advanced Alzheimer's and was put into care immediately. Sometimes we have to take drastic action to get others to pay attention to our elders' needs.
I think people have told you the things you may have to do, and I sure understand why you wish you would not have to do them. BUT Mom is a danger to herself and others, and her needs will eat your Dad alive if you continue to let it happen. If it takes involving the police, involve the police. Half-measures won't do at this point.
I can't convince her that she NEEDS to be in assisted living, even tho I do a lot of the assisting, she believes she could live in an apartment alone.
(if she didn't have a machine that tells her to take her meds, she wouldn't remember.). And she doesn't remember whether she took them or not. I have a way to keep track, until she figures it out. God Bless your parents and give doctors the wisdom to give the help needed. Donna