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Her doctor says she is otherwise healthy. She cooks for herself and eats healthy non-processed foods mostly, does not restrict fats like butter and olive oil.


But to me, she seems to have lost most of her fat and muscle. Is this normal? Should I be concerned?

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StrugglingSue, yes it is normal for some people to lose weight as they age. I remember my Mom did, she went from 130 lbs to eventually 95 lbs and her primary doctor wasn't concerned.

To make sure the weight lost is normal for your Mom, have her see her primary doctor and have a blood panel drawn to make sure everything is ok.
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Yes, and unfortunately it's almost all muscle, anyone who has reached middle age knows that we need to exercise twice as hard to gain half the benefits. See if she's interested in any of those seniors exercise programs, many are very gentle and some are even designed to be done seated - a tip, since I've added music to my routines it's been more fun than work.
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She is 87. We lose density and mass in the body at this age. I think the only concerns I would have is that we ARE (by nature) more at risk, and density of bone itself is important. You can best insure this remains with WALKING. Even short distances daily, or longer four times a week will help enormously.

Age changes happen. They happen externally where they are visible and they happen internally. For instance, at 80 what I note most of all is balance. Now, on the buses, I kind of fly about as though I weigh nothing. I feel like a feather in the winds. But I weigh close to 150, more than I ever in my life weighed. It would seem that I should stand solidly upon the earth, but, no.

You might want to look up "aging changes in the body". It may reassure you that it is normal. But there is little reassurance that your Mom is moving toward the last years of her life, and this may be your deeper concern.
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Losing 40 lbs. over a 5 year period isn't huge by any stretch. Your profile says that your mother is now living with you, so you should be able to see first hand just how much exactly she is eating or not eating, and better monitor that. If you don't think she's eating all she should be, perhaps you could encourage her to.
But at this point, if her doctor's not concerned, I'm not sure I would be either.
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StrugglingSue Mar 2023
Thank you, she actually lives in a mother-in-law suite attached to our home with her own kitchen. I do all her shopping so I know what she’s eating but I believe she has inadequate caloric intake. She has dental problems and GERD also. She refuses any supplemental drinks like Ensure, says it tastes terrible and artificial. She gets very little exercise as she’s on a walker and quite unsteady.
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When you lose muscle mass, you lose weight. It happens in the elderly. Both my MIL and Mom lost weight when they hit their 80s and both were widows. I say that because first we eat less when we get up there. Not as active, not as hungry. Throw in you not cooking for 2...

I was thinking about this last night when getting dinner for us. I was not hungry enough to go out for dinner which we do alot. I did not want to cook a meal either. DH had leftover soup from the night before and a grilled cheese. Me, I had an apple dumpling because thats all I wanted. I think if I had not have had to get my DH something, I may not have eaten at all and I am 73. I don't eat much anyway.

Those drinks aren't that great taste wise. I find they are too sweet. I have frozen the choc for an hour or two. They get thick like a milkshake and are not bad. I used to do this with Slimfast too.
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StrugglingSue Mar 2023
Thank you, I will try that.
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Both of my parents lost weight as they got older. My Dad has passed but he stopped being interested in food (He would eat mine😂) and my Mom has been bedridden for two years so she is just wasting away.

when my Mom was on Hospice the nurse told me not to force eating and that loss of appetite is also the normal process of aging. Dad passed and Mom is going to be 90 in July.

It is hard to watch but Ijust make sure my Mom has some of her favorite items on hand such as her beloved Mac and Cheese which she will eat.
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Here are the ingredients in chocolate Ensure. Water, Corn Maltodextrin, Sugar, Milk Protein Concentrate, Blend of Vegetable Oils (Canola, Corn), Soy Protein Isolate, Cocoa Powder (Processed with Alkali). Less than 0.5% of: VITAMINS & MINERALS (Potassium Citrate, Magnesium Phosphate, Calcium Carbonate, Ascorbic Acid, Sodium Citrate, Calcium Phosphate, Choline Chloride, Potassium Hydroxide, Potassium Chloride, Ferrous Sulfate, dl-Alpha-Tocopheryl Acetate, Zinc Sulfate, Niacinamide, Calcium Pantothenate, Magnesium Sulfate, Pyridoxine Hydrochloride, Thiamine Hydrochloride, Copper Sulfate, Riboflavin, Vitamin A Palmitate, Folic Acid, Potassium Iodide, Sodium Selenate, Sodium Molybdate, Phylloquinone, Biotin, Vitamin D3, Vitamin B12), Nonfat Milk, Cellulose Gel, Natural & Artificial Flavors, Salt, Cellulose Gum, Monoglycerides, Soy Lecithin, Carrageenan, and Sucralose.

Doesn't sound user-friendly if one has acid-reflux.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2023
FF,

Ooooooh, yummy!

Sorry for the sarcasm but that list of ingredients are ridiculous, aren’t they?

Yet, Ensure, Boost and other similar products sell a lot of products.
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My mom barely ate. She was never a big eater to begin with. Many older people don’t have large appetites. They will lose weight, becoming very thin. My mom probably weighed about 100 lbs towards the end, if that.

My mom would often say that she wasn’t hungry. She only ate because she knew that she had to eat to get nourishment.
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If her doctor says she is healthy, then she is healthy. I'm assuming he has done a full checkup of her including blood work and bone density.

I lost quite a bit of weight because I lost muscle mass and "insulation". I'm seeing the outline of bones that I don't remember ever seeing before.

My sister's MIL is under 90 pounds and she has been at that level for the last 10 years. She looks very thin and fragile....almost like those pictures you see of starving kids.
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Be careful with those supplemental drinks. Some people have glucose problems or diabetes and should not consume them. They are an expensive item, too.
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To answer your question - yes - I think it is normal. I think after a certain age most people do begin to lose muscle tone and begin to look more fragile, at least in my experience. If her doctor is not concerned, it is probably nothing to worry about. I wouldn't even worry about adding any supplemental drinks or anything if she is getting all of her required caloric intake. It sounds like she eats healthy (probably healthier than a lot of people)

Now if you have concerns about something specific, I would absolutely share it with her doctor. Have them do testing. But I wouldn't put her through unnecessary testing over a 40 pound weight loss in 5 years. That's really only 8 pounds a year. That's less than a pound a month. That's not rapid or alarming. Now if you had said she has lost 40 pounds in the last 3 months I would be more concerned. But over 5 years it seems like a natural aging progression.

We have the opposite problem. My FIL is a medical unicorn. He is almost 90 and weighs almost 300 pounds. He can't seem to lose it no matter what. There is definitely no muscle tone. He can barely stand up. (but 50 years of that much weight takes its toll) While you see plenty of people over 80 that are "shrinking" so to speak, you rarely see them that seem to be "growing" or at least maintaining such a large size. Specifically because many morbidly obese people don't have a great mortality rate and don't generally see that age range to begin with. So he draws quite a bit of attention because people are shocked to see someone his age at his size.

I wouldn't worry too much about it unless you see a reason to worry.
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it is very normal that a person of her age weighs less than what you perceive her weight should be. Older persons do not retain weight as well, they have reduced muscle mass, again normal, and they tend not to eat as much. If she doesn't have dietary restrictions just let her be and eat what she wants. You might want to include a supplement such as Boost or Ensure, both can be purchased with extra protein, however take care because they can cause or add to constipation, which elderly suffer with often times. She needs to be well hydrated also but again sometimes elderly do not drink enough water. Loss if fat and muscle can also contribute to feeling cold, so layers if clothes become the norm. Follow the doctors guidelines as far as food in take. At your mother's age let her enjoy whatever she wants to eat.
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Since mom hates the ensure drinks how about homemade smoothies? You could use greek yogurt and her favorite fruits, fresh or frozen. Add some protein powder and this will be a perfect addition to her diet and easy on bad teeth.
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I had a friend’s mother who had lost a lot of weight kind of more rapidly than yours. We thought we was going to loose her … come to find out it was her medications! They adjusted them and she got better ! Anyway just food for thought ! Good luck ! 🙏🙏🙏
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StrugglingSue: Although elders sometimes do lose weight, when you do the math, your mother has lost 8 pounds a year for 5 years. A physician visit is deemed appropriate.

I, myself, at 76 years of age, am having a difficult time keeping weight on, even with a hypo thyroid condition.
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I’d start baking heavy calories casseroles for her! She wouldn’t have to cook as much which might make things easier on her. Things like lasagna, manicotti etc. Desserts too :)
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I remember that my grandmothers became much thinner in their 80's and were very healthy. My mom started taking them meals, even though they both still lived alone and cooked. Mom thought they were getting too tired in the kitchen, so just making what was easiest. Your mom might be doing that too, so I like the idea of taking her a meal full of calories once in a while. My mom also lost a lot of weight in her 80's. First on purpose, then the weight stayed off without any effort. My husband is 77 and has started losing weight, even though he was already thin. He eats the same amount as always, exercises still, but doesn't move as fast. The 45 minutes around the mountain trail now takes him well over an hour.
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