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I am his caregiver now about 2-4 hours every other day, errands, doctor appointments. He's only going to get more feeble and I am not strong enough to lift him if he should fall.

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I think you have answered your own question. To go from 14-28 hours a week to 24 hours a day is a huge change.

Why does dad not participate in the activities where he lives?
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Peacefulness, it would be best for your father to stay at his Independent Living facility, and I feel you are thinking the same way. Dad probably has weekly housekeeping, weekly linen service, meals in the main dining room. Transportation to stores. Plus being around people closer to his generation.

If he moved in with you, you will be doing the weekly housekeeping, weekly linen service, all the meals, transportation, and trying to entertain Dad. Plus you are probably a senior citizen yourself. I found out the hard way that a senior taking care of a much older senior is very exhausting. We just do not have the same amount of energy and strength we had in our 30's or 40's. And who would pick us up when we fall?

As long as your Dad can still budget for the cost, it is money well spent. I wished my parents would have done that, but instead they were saving their money for my inheritance. I remember telling my parents that what good would be the inheritance if they outlive me. They looked at me like my hair was on fire.... [sigh]. They were still viewing me as the same child who could do anything.
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shad250 May 2019
People around his generation? What about h
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I agree, leave him where he is. If not enough activities then consider an AL if he has the money. But don't move him in. If ur a female, definitely not. Me personally would not have cared for my Dad.

Just curious, why doesn't sister want anything to do with him? Because for me this is a red flag. Is Dad hard to get along with? If so, another reason not to take him in. Once we move out of our parents house it is really hard to live with them again. We change, they change. But they forget we are not their children anymore but adults.

Tell him he gets more of your time than most children give their elderly parents. The longer he is independent the better. If your Townhouse has steps, another reason not to have him.
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