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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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You can only do your best and if your brother values you he will meet you partway and if he doesn't there is not much you can do you are doing what needs to be done for your Mom and can not control what happens with him it will be his loss my mother does not like my kids or grandchildren but loves her other grandchildren but I feel it is her loss. It is very important to have a right relationship with God for our future after death and not get too carried away with how our siblings feel or act.
Get power of attorney for her medical and financials as soon as possible. If you are doing all the care giving, you need this to make decisions on your mother's behalf. Good luck.
If you already have durable and medical POA, then act on it despite your brother. If you don't, mami's already said what to do. So make it so and I wish you well in this endevor.
I agree with the other comments, but I wish to pass along a bit a of advice given to me by both my minister and my lawyer: As you decide what is best for your mother it is also important to think about the "Thanksgiving Table Issue." Your relationship with your brother will continue, good or bad, following your mother's passing. It is important to think about how your present actions will impact family interactions later on so you can work toward what will meet your needs best, in the future.
If your social circle doesn't include your brother now and you wouldn't want him to be an uncle to your children, etc. then do what you need to do -- for you.
If it is important to you to build a better relationship and have him a part of future special occasions in your life, then look for ways to resolve the conflicts now. Perhaps some kind of counseling or maybe both of you could sit down and have a discussion with a relative, friend or other party not so closely involved.
I have one brother and two sisters. The brother and sister who live out of state don't have as big of a vote as my sister who is here working to take care of my mother, when I, as medical POA, make decisions. Some times the only vote that is important is mom's, through her Living Will.
Often, we care so much, our focus is totally on the life and needs of the person we care for. Part of taking care of ourselves, is to remember that, no matter what, someday that relationship will end and our life will still go on. It was kind of a shock to me, the first time I heard that, because I am constantly considering what is in my mom's best interest. I must start planning for, and when I can, living a life where my hours are not filled with mom's needs.
I hope you and your brother can workout some kind of compromise, so that, in the end, you can look at each other and say "We did the best we could do, for her."
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If your social circle doesn't include your brother now and you wouldn't want him to be an uncle to your children, etc. then do what you need to do -- for you.
If it is important to you to build a better relationship and have him a part of future special occasions in your life, then look for ways to resolve the conflicts now. Perhaps some kind of counseling or maybe both of you could sit down and have a discussion with a relative, friend or other party not so closely involved.
I have one brother and two sisters. The brother and sister who live out of state don't have as big of a vote as my sister who is here working to take care of my mother, when I, as medical POA, make decisions. Some times the only vote that is important is mom's, through her Living Will.
Often, we care so much, our focus is totally on the life and needs of the person we care for. Part of taking care of ourselves, is to remember that, no matter what, someday that relationship will end and our life will still go on. It was kind of a shock to me, the first time I heard that, because I am constantly considering what is in my mom's best interest. I must start planning for, and when I can, living a life where my hours are not filled with mom's needs.
I hope you and your brother can workout some kind of compromise, so that, in the end, you can look at each other and say "We did the best we could do, for her."