He put her in an Alzheimer’s and Dementia Facilty. My mom lived in her own home before being placed in the nursing home. She drives her car. She does her own grocery shopping, laundry, goes for manicure/pedicure and hair salon, doctor. My mom wants out of the nursing home. How do I get her out of there?
Is she in the nursing home for rehab after being sick or is it s permanent placement? What has happened to her home?
Generally a person needs to meet a medical criteria to be placed in a nursing home. Who recommended that she be placed in one?
You could ask the facility to tell you what a "safe discharge plan" for your mom would entail and try to see if you could get your brother to agree to it.
I don't think your brother could just put your mom in memory care because he felt like it. She would need to have qualified medically for that placement. Doctors would have had to certify that she needs that level of care and was not able to make her own decisions.
If your mom is competent to make her own decisions, she could sign herself out of care. I very much suspect that doctors have determined she is not competent to make her own decisions. But I think an ombudsman might help you figure it all out.
If your mother IS there for rehab, let her alone, that's my suggestion. Medicare doesn't pay for rehab for no good reason, nor does a doctor send a patient TO rehab for no good reason. She will receive physical and occupational therapy daily while in rehab, so she can return to her normal daily routine (hopefully) once she gets home. Taking her out prematurely can greatly affect her ability to get around and have the stamina to live independently afterward.
Finally, like Frances said, a SNF is not a prison. If your mother is of sound mind, she can check HERSELF out of there. If her son has guardianship over her because she has dementia and is not of sound mind, then HE gets to make the decisions as to where she lives moving forward.
I just have the feeling you're not getting the whole story here. Talk to your brother, even if you're not on good terms, just to get the complete picture of what's really going on.
Good luck!