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I was home but not aware of what had happened. I believe he tried to call out to me, yet by the time I reached him it was too late. He lived with me for 4 years and I was his care giver, sister and landlord. I miss him so much. We were very close. What can I do? I still can see the trauma points on the door and floor and don't want to remove them. Today he is being cremated. His memorial is on his birthday October 12, 2022.

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Jana, I am so sorry for your loss.

I have a friend that her 63 year old dad was running a marathon, had a fatal heart attack and was dead before he hit the ground. This could very well have been what happened to your brother. Please don't torment yourself thinking he could have survived if you responded sooner.
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(((((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))
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I’m very sorry for your trauma and loss. My husband lost a family member in the same manner, he fell in the bathroom, might have called out, but quickly died. It was a stunning loss, we all still miss him. What can you do, you ask? Perhaps attend a GriefShare group. They’ve been a big help to many. Getting help to process your loss can help. In time you will heal and remember your brother with more smiles than tears. I wish you healing and peace
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Jana, my condolences for the loss of your brother. My Mom lost her husband at 65 to a massive heart attack. Her initial thoughts were that maybe she could have saved him if she was in the same room when it happened. Eventually she came to accept that it was just his time. The sudden losses are so difficult. Your brother was very lucky to have a kind sister like you willing to be his caregiver. With time, your sadness will be replaced with wonderful memories of him. Sending you hugs.
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I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved brother. He was truly fortunate to have such a caring sister.
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Oh no I am so sorry for your loss. It must be incredibly difficult. [Hugs]
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That must be so challenging and difficult for you. And I can understand that it's hard to move forward.

Try to spend at least some time each day thinking of the better times, and increase that contemplation time. Sometimes bringing up old, positive and good memories can help turn the focus from the sadness. I know it isn't easy though. I often "relive" get togethers, and sometimes even create a list of all that I've learned and experienced from those who have gone before me.
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