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My parents are in their mid 70's. Retired, living on SS benefits as their sole source of income. They have no savings and are living in my childhood home, which luckily has been paid off for many years. The problem is two fold: 1) The home is in a terrible end of town, where I constantly worry for their safety 2) the house is old and literally falling down around them! Plaster just fell from the ceiling a week ago! Add in my mom just got home from 108 day stay in the hospital with Covid (most of which was in a coma on a ventilator) - so she's trying to get rehabiliated from the house is not safe and the only bathroom is on the second floor. I would like them to move - but they can't afford it. Are there any grant programs or assistance to at least help with repairs? I wish I could simply give them the $$ but I'm not in a position to do that financially.

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They can afford to move. They will have to sell their house. My MIL lives in an elderly apartment building that is government subsidized. She pays what they determine she can afford. She only gets SS and has a small amount in the bank. She pays under $300/month for her 1 bedroom apartment.

Even if you had some money, I would suggest that you should not pay to upgrade their home or pay for anything that they should be paying for.

I would not do anything to help keep them in their current situation but put whatever energy you are willing to expend into getting them moved in to a safer environment.

Sorry your mom is in rough shape after her covid battle. How's dad doing? Can he put some energy into looking into elderly housing? Getting the house ready to sell? If no one has the time and/or energy, it can always be sold "as is" and they will get much less for it but without having to go through all the expense and stress of fixing it up.
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If plaster is falling, chances are the roof's leaking. Now you're talking about major home repairs. I'll guess about $10,000.

A stair lift -- IF the stairs are straight -- will cost around $3,000 if you can get a used one. If the stairs curve or have a landing, you're looking at closer to $10,000 for a lift.

As you can see, your folks have a lot of problems, and they have a fair amount of money tied up in their house and not working for them. As Again mentioned, they do have the money, but it's in the house. They could look into a reverse mortgage, but if they're ina bad part of town, that's not a solution.

Help your folks by contacting a Realtor to give them an idea of how much their house is worth. That might help quell their fears about not having money, plus it'll give you an idea of what you have to work with. Real estate is red-hot right now, so this is a seller's market.
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jacobsonbob May 2021
However, the market isn't "red-hot" everywhere, and it especially might not be for a house in a bad part of town, particularly if it needs extensive repairs. However, at SOME price it could probably be sold unless the cost of repairs would exceed the value of the house, in which case someone might buy it for the land and then build a new house on it. In any case, it's certainly worth investigating, and even if it practically has to be "given away", the OP's parents could move into an senior apartment where they will be in a safer area and not in danger of the ceiling collapsing upon them.

If the OP's mother makes a full recovery, then they may live for a couple more decades; if not, then the father alone may live that long. In any case, it will be a safer environment without the burden of worrying about repairs.
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I am so very sorry that you and your parents are suffering with these issues. I would be concerned for them too.

Houses are not maintenance free! Upkeep costs money and renovations are super costly. People that are on a fixed income struggle to keep afloat, let alone do repairs.

Your parents can sell the property ‘as is’ and the buyer can renovate or tear down.

Your mom and dad can move into a senior apartment, with pay scaled according to income. My brother lived in an apartment building for seniors. He was satisfied.

Best wishes to your family.
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There actually are programs that offer loans (which you don't want) or free repairs to seniors. I don't know what state you live in, but it sounds like your parents live in an urban area, which probably increases your odds of finding help. Go here for more info: www.freeadvice.com/legal/free-home-repair-assistance-for-seniors. You may not have to sell yet.
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JanisLW May 2021
your name sfdaughter, made me wonder if you are indeed a SF native. I was born in SF nearly 70 years ago. I grew up there and loved it, but would never go back again. It has changed too much.
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Have you considered a go-fund-me page. People seem to do well using this. So sorry for this difficult situation but many here have offered good advice.
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You can start by calling around your local social service agencies and County Office on Aging. I know Habitat for Humanity in my area will help with small household repairs for free for seniors in my area, but small repairs won’t solve the longer term issue. Let me share my cautionary tale: In looking for the same type of assistance for my mother, who refused to move from her home, there was only assistance for smaller repairs. She needed to have major repairs done. Fast forward years later, she ended up selling the house at a loss, and that was only doable because her property had value. And she got herself into a big financial mess by taking out some crazy line of credit against advice.

Your parents should begin to apply for subsidized senior housing. Rent will be determined based on their income. There can be long waiting lists. The house will only continue to crumble and continue to lose value. And your parents will only continue to age and be able to do less and less. My mother was starting with dementia a long time ago that I recognized, but no one else around her seemed to notice. This only added to the insanity. I know this is your childhood home and you want to help your parents, but this could end up being a great financial burden if your family decides to take out a loan based on emotion or nostalgia. You could all be underwater and lose money on the home. I would sell the home as is.

I have not heard of any grants that can help with major repairs. But I hope you can find some help. I do know there are some community groups in my area that will build ramps and replace stairs. But as I said, that is a short term solution. I am sorry that you are going through this - you sound like a wonderful child! I wish you luck.
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JanisLW May 2021
The 2 you mentioned are great places to get help
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I wonder how much is 'can't afford to move' & how much is 'don't want to move'?

I would ask your folks about their main housing priorities for this stage of their life.

Is it to stay in the family house? I'm sure they like the famiarity. But do they wish to stay despite being unable to keep it in repair?

Or is it to stay in their familiar area? Maybe an apartment would be a more affordable choice?

Or maybe being in a safe area, close to you or other family is acceptable?

If you can't afford the roof over your head, what's the first common sense thing you think of to do?
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You've gotten some great advice here already. The only agency I am not seeing listed here yet is a "community action agency." They can be called different things in different communities, but they are federally funded. If you Google community action agency with the name of your community, it should come up. Among other forms of assistance they often offer home weatherization repairs. Also, has insurance by any chance been kept on the home? I wonder if insurance might help...And finally, sometimes the local church may have some way of helping. Things like this often involve knitting together a number of small types of assistance. I know it is just so very much to deal with, and my heart goes out to you.
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Applying for subsidized housing sounds like a good idea if your parents could be persuaded to move. Because of waiting lists, this move would probably not happen right away.
In addition to your Area Agency on Aging for housing repairs, investigate church and community volunteer services that might help with small projects.
Major repairs like structural repairs or a new roof will require family money.
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I would contact your area's Agency on Aging. They have lists of resources that might help either financially or could provide services to help on needed fixes to your parents' house. What about Habitat for Humanity? Or if either of your parents was a Veteran, there might also be groups who might aid on house fixing.

What concerns me is that if your parents' house is not in a desirable neighborhood, they may not be getting much in sale of the house and the monies from the sale may not be of lasting help.
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Sometimes there are home improvement programs through the same agencies that offer fuel assistance. Your city or county elder services might be able to help. My parents actually received a new furnace that way. In my state of Massachusetts, there used to be a program for just this purpose of making improvements to the home to allow the owners to age in place. Not sure if it exists now. There may be other programs that they will qualify for that will indirectly free up their money for home repairs (like meals on wheels, food stamps, and the like.) They also might get some grab bars and other safety items like Lifeline and medication machines that your mother needs. Sometimes there are philanthropic groups that help needy elders improve their homes. The national news highlighted a terrific organization that does just that. It started with an electrician who was called to do a small job at a home in Woburn Mass. When the electrician saw how dire the condition of the home was, a charitable organization of tradespeople was born. Last, although I don't like reverse mortgages, they can come in handy for purposes like this. They are a rip off but can provide the money to make the repairs possible if a home equity loan isn't an option. An appraisal of the home and getting some estimates for the necessary repair work would shed light on what the best course of action. Your parents could have another 15 years of living to manage and waitlists for subsidized housing can be lengthy.
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My mom applied for housing/apartments specifically made for elderly. It was based on her income, so not overly expensive. Staying in a deteriorating home as an elderly person is not a good idea. There’s usually people who will buy old, ugly houses to flip them. Then your parents could relocate to a smaller apartment suited for the elderly. It means downsizing but will be more safe.
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I'd be worried sick if my folks were living alone in a falling down house in a terrible part of town--this is just asking for far more drama that they can handle.

IF you want PERSONAL advice, mostly it will be of the 'sell and move to a smaller place in a better neighborhood.' The nightmare of fixing up is one that mom shouldn't have going on around her as she continues to heal. Just the dust kicked up by minor construction can be very bad for her.

I'm just now really facing the fact that my DH and I need to move BEFORE we get to the situation your folks are in. In the last few weeks, as I attempted to get my yard and gardens put in, it hit me that there is zero joy in this work that used to give me so much pleasure. Now it's just a worry. I don't WANT to leave the home where I raised my babies---but realistically, I can't take care of it and DH doesn't do fixer upper stuff.

The BIGGEST reason for moving, for me? STAIRS!!! All over the place and I honestly find myself throwing a basket of laundry over the railing to the basement b/c I am simply not strong enough anymore to haul the hampers down to the laundry. Your mom is on the 2nd floor and the bathroom isn't on the same floor? That's a recipe for a fall.

While it's true the housing market is red hot in many areas, it may not be in yours--but that doesn't mean the house wouldn't sell--sure would be a load off your mind to have mom and dad in a safe, one level apartment or condo.

If you decide to sell, talk to a realtor and see what you should and shouldn't need to 'fix' before selling. I talked to mine yesterday and was surprised that he said to do no repairs but a couple of very minor ones. Frankly, I think a quicker 'as is' sell would be your best bet.

Just DON'T jump in to massive repairs--you likely won't recoup the money.

Good Luck!
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JanisLW May 2021
When you mentioned your garden I wanted to cry. I had a wonderful garden that I planted every year for 30 years. I loved it. But after finding out I had to move, all the joy went out the door. It was hard work and I would not be around to enjoy it, so I stopped planting. I miss it so much
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Sorry you and your parents are goin through this but happy to hear Mom survived covid. Some excellent suggestions here.

I have a feeling your folks don't really want to move (it can be a hassle at any age and stage) but you can't turn back the hands of time and make the house or neighborhood like it was 30 years ago. Sometimes you just have to begin a new chapter of the book.

House sounds expensive and possible dangerous. Bathroom on second could become an issue although they could use a portable commode but who would empty it if you can't get there daily and they don't have hired help? Falling plaster sounds like there's a roof leak somewhere and it might require a complete new roof and plyboard. They can be expensive (I paid $5550 in NJ in 2020 and that was reasonable). Time to sell the house for whatever you can get.

Contact your parents local Office on Aging to see if they can direct you to the Sect 8 housing resource guide (might be available on Goggle). Then have your parents for every unit they can. You can always change your mind later. I sit on the Bd of Trustee for a local Sect 8.2 senior complex. Your admission is based on your income so they take 30% of your income. Assets don't seem to come into play for sect 8.2 but they do for other housing options. However, our wait list is approx. 5 years long so you want to get on that list .... yesterday.

If you or your parents are a member of a religious or fraternal organization check to see if they have suggestions or options that might work at least on a temporary basis.
Wishing you luck and resilience on this journey.
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I would contact your local United Way. Where I live, we have a group called "Helping Hands". They are volunteers that fix houses for the poor, elderly and disabled for the cost of materials and a donation. Contact local churches. Sometimes, roofers, carpenters, etc. will use leftover material to do a freebie for the disabled or elderly.
But..that said, I'm assuming your parents are on Medicare/Medicaid. There is a Medicaid payback rule. You need to check into that before selling the home. You can contact your city bar association and get a referral to an Elder Care Attorney that has lots of experience with Medicaid rules. They can set up a trust for any profit your parents may make off the sale of the house, so they can use it to purchase a condo or smaller home in a better neighborhood. It is very important you do this. If you get a referral from the Bar Association, usually the 1st hourlong consulation is free. I think also if they sell at a profit, than rent an apt., they can be disqualified from Medicaid. And you have to sell at fair market value. Not a "We buy Homes" for less than fair market value.
I am going thru similar except I want to relocate back to Michigan. My health is deteriorating and the healthcare system where I currently live doesn't have the treatment I need for a rare hereditary type of anemia. I've been in bed a long time, no family or friends here, and cry everyday because I don't know how to sell this house and move home. Can't find any trustworthy assistance.
I would definitely get them to a safer place in a better neighborhood though. Best wishes and I am glad your mother beat Covid!
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Of course, things vary in different commuities, but check with the Salvation Army. My cousin (aged 68) got a loan to fix her foundation, siding, insulation, and furnace. The loan is federally backed and there is no repayment until she dies or the house is sold. The interest is ultra-low and will not eat up all her equity so her children will inherit something.
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LittleOrchid May 2021
I forgot, they also put on a new roof and did repairs to her plumbing. At any rate, they took a house that was basically a tear-down and renovated it into a house that should be good as long as she lives.
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1.   Are either of your parents Veterans?  If so, there might be funds available for emergency repairs.   If either is a Vet, and are already accepted for treatment, ontact the social worker for your VA team.  If neither are registered, contact (a) closest VA hospital or (b) local (county) VA office, or (c) state VA facilities to find out how to register.

2.   Contact your local city or township to find out if either has (a) a low or no interest home improvement entity to help with emergency repairs.   Ours does; the last time I investigated, no interest was charged on the loan, which was paid off only when the home was sold.

You wouldn't get your choice of contractors, and from my limited experience, the one I saw wasn't qualified to be a contractor in the first place.   But that could be a unique experience.

3.   My city also got HUD grants, typically at the beginning of the fiscal year, for emergency repairs for residents in need.

4.    Contact local Methodist churches, some of which have volunteer programs like Habitat for Humanity offers.   Volunteers work free (as far as I know) to help repair and/or fix up homes in need of assistance.  

5.   Although I'm hesitant to recommend this b/c of the publicity, but sometimes local tv stations will feature a family in need in a home in need of repairs, and contractors will volunteer to contribute labor and materials.

I don't know if this exists, but I think it would be an excellent training opportunity as well as one for those in need:    building trade students who work on homes as part of their academic training.    I wish I could find one like that.
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Depending on where you live, sometimes there are volunteer companies. Also, check with your state and county department of Human services.
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There are many programs. I live in the U.S. and we have council people, the Corporation for Aging, and dozens of government programs.m to assist.
Consider this:
1) They stay in the house and resource a government program who will do repairs at very low interest rates.
2) They borrow against the collateral if there is any.
3) They go the emergency top of list for government housing.
4) Consult an attorney about the feasibility of a reverse mortgage.

Good luck.
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Imho, start with their town's Council on Aging, who should have in place many programs for the aged. My late mother's was on a poverty wage of $1,223/month. She was eligible for many rebates and programs through her town's COA, e.g. historic home, tax pro, deferred real estate tax and many more.
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JanisLW May 2021
they just have to look. There are so many places that can help. If she truly has no money, there is help for her. J got it.
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OMG! The first part of your post is what I went through. I am living on SSR only and have no drivers license. I have no savings. I got divorced after 30 years and my ex took it all. I am 68. I looked up senior housing low income repairs and hit the jackpot! SHRA (I'm in Ca), and checked out gov. Grants. I was immediately given several thousand dollars ($6000) to get my windows replaced and stop water leaks that were coming through .the panels. I have an entirely new side now. They replace roofs, heaters, insulate entire houses and do repairs for elderly low income people for free! Look up SPOA also. They all look into finances, so be truthful. If she has any hidden assets or money available you need to tell them. Good luck
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Habitat for Humanity targets elderly homes in need of repair and its 100% free.
The people across the street, who have since both passed, got a new roof, landscaping and windows were donated by town businesses.
Call and sign up and tell them specifically what needs the most repairs.
Skilled volunteers donate their time on weekends in the spring.
Give it a look or at least call and inquire....it’s free!
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Contact the local Office on Aging who may have suggestions. Also there are state funded organizations (I don't know if all states have this) known as RSVP - Retired Senior Volunteer Program. They have every kind of a volunteer age 55 and up and they do everything for free. I volunteered with them when I was home a number of years ago. Also talk to the local churches and see if they can offer some help. I am sorry but I don't know what else to tell you.
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Riley2166 May 2021
Another thing is this - call your state senator and assemblymen. Sometimes they can steer you in the right direction for help. Good luck.
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