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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
He is on a high dose of anti depressants. He refuses any suggestions we make to get involved. It's a horrible thing to say but he is just waiting to die so he can join my mum. It's heartbeaking seeing my Dad so sad.
2 years is not a long time...he may never fully function when thinking of her loss. Is it hurting you ? Is his upset causing you to get upset also, when you just want to try and keep going forward ? If it is his pain, let him go through it, unless actually harming himself, let him grieve how he needs to. If it is throwing you, then explain that to him when you can do so calmly, let him know that the love is shared and while very different loves, it is still something you need him to help you through also. We don'tcope well when parents are no longer super heroes, but there is nothing wrong with communicating to him that you still need the parent you have to be strong for you too, and that as a team you can get through it together.
Your dad is experiencing what's called "complicated grief". It's grief that isn't resolved. Grief needs to be addressed. Time doesn't heal grief, one has to work thru it. I lost my wife 2 1/2 yrs ago and although I no longer feel the deep sadness of her loss, I still have moments of sadness. By "working thru it" I mean he has to 1) choose to recover from it (it's a choice), 2) take action to resolve the grief, and 3) re-invent his life. You don't mention how old he is so this can make a difference. If he's in his late 80s or older, for instance, he may decide it's too much to do and just await dying. If he's younger, there's too much life left for him to be miserable the rest of his life. Taking action might mean joining a grief support group, reading books on dealing with grief, re-establishing friendships, even going to professional counseling. As for me, I joined the Alz Assn, became involved with church functions, facilitated support groups, and other things. It's something I CHOSE to do. An excellent book is "Getting to the Other Side of Grief (overcoming the loss of a spouse)" by Susan J. Sonnebelt, Robert C. DeVries. Re-inventing himself means understanding he is now alone and must do things by himself without the enjoyment of his wife's company. It's not easy but neither is a life of sadness. 2 yrs is too long to break into tears at the mention of his wife. Everyone grieves differently, but it can be overcome.
I know a woman who lost her husband ten years ago and she grieves as if he died yesterday.
I wish that I had an answer for you. I hope in time he will be able to accept that she is gone. This is hard for you as well because you care about him.
I suppose that you may have to accept the situation to some degree no matter how hard it is.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I know a woman who lost her husband ten years ago and she grieves as if he died yesterday.
I wish that I had an answer for you. I hope in time he will be able to accept that she is gone. This is hard for you as well because you care about him.
I suppose that you may have to accept the situation to some degree no matter how hard it is.