My father is 86 and competent. We know some facts regarding the financial abuse and there may be other things we don't know. He has been told he is out of money so he doesn't have any for an attorney. Would the district attorney's office of his county be the entity to report this to? We need a formal, legal request for his books to be balanced so it will be clear how his assets and funds were used and what for. I'm pretty sure that a crime has been committed and because of the amount of money misused it's going to be a felony. I'm afraid if I contact APS that it will take longer to get to the core of the issue and nothing may not be done by them to truly help my father.
Also he has been asking to come back to his hometown for 2 years and is being strung along. He stresses and grieves because he is still in the same place where the only person he knows is the power of attorney and he is afraid to revoke that POA until he gets back to his hometown, 185 miles from where he is. I'm told all he has now is a recliner, walker, his clothes and hygiene products. I have no vehicle or resources to bring him back. I have begun to reach out to see if I can find a group or organization that would honor my father's request and take him back to his hometown. His truck was sold by his POA without his consent and the funds used towards another vehicle for herself. This was very upsetting to him. Otherwise I would have a way to bring him to his hometown where I live and the use of his truck to get his scripts and anything else he needs. He wants to go to a facility and everything is prepared for the transition except getting here. The social worker where he is now has the business and Medicaid part of it covered. Are there any groups or organizations that would bring my dad home where he's wanted to come back to for almost 2 and a half years now? His stepson promised to help him move back, but has been stringing him along. I don't know why but I suspect something isn't right because the stepson will not communicate with me. I am my dad's only child. I was told that there is about 200 thousand dollars unaccounted for by the POA two years ago and that my dad left everything to the stepson and $1,000 dollars to me. The POA told me that and that was supposed to be confidential. I'm not concerned about the will and I told my dad what the POA told me because I feel like he should be informed. I had to think about it first, I would rather save him from as much anxiety and grief as I can. He probably is out of money now because he has been approved for Medicaid. I have asked him about the $200k a few times but he acts like he doesn't know anything about it. My step brother may have put it in an account with his name or the POA may even be making up a story like that because she did something with it and wants to place blame or she may be telling a story. My gut tells me the step son knows something because he won't communicate with me and encourages my dad to exclude me from any discussions about Dad's affairs. My dad told me that he had been texting with the stepson today but he asked Dad to not say anything about it to me. My dad has stated several times over the last couple of years that he "didn't want to make him, stepson, mad" and that is very concerning to me. I've asked Dad why he is afraid he might make him mad and never get a clear answer. I want to help my dad with the least drama or anxiety to my dad and I am willing to shoulder it on his behalf if possible. Things should not be like this and it creates grief and depression for my dad. I have waited quite a while to ask for help here. Is there any legitimate help for me to help my father? I would hope it would be sincere and not in vain. That is why I'm apprehensive about contacting APS. I need help for Dad by someone who can make things happen in the best interest of my father. Thanks for listening and any guidance.
If you are looking at moving your dad into your home, have you done any research about dementia? If he is basically broke except his SS, can you afford to not work and provide a place for both of you? LTC Medicaid won't provide in home care, he would need to qualify for community Medicaid.
Here's the really hard thing about DPOAs. They are the legal chosen representative and they are bound by law to act in the best interest of the principal (your dad) and they are required to do what the principal would have done themselves when they were of sound mind. That means not sharing personal, private information with anyone that asks, so if your dad never gave you details, then you aren't entitled to details now.
Dementia is a broken brain and it causes the patient to live in a dimension that doesn't necessareiy align with reality or truth. If all of your concerns are coming from information provided to you by your dad, it could be his reality and not the truth of the situation.
Just curious and forgive me if I missed it in your post, you can't rent a car for a day to move your dad?
Your dad would qualify for paratransit through the department of transportation, so you wouldn't need a vehicle, this could be the transportation you use to meet his needs. Even if you both went multiple places daily, your fees would be less then insurance for a private vehicle.
If you are serious about doing this, you need to think about the resources, get them set up and get educated about dad's actual diagnosis and prognosis, because dementia doesn't get better, it is a progressive degenerative disease.
Can you really do this for the long haul?
If you believe the POA has stolen his money, you have to report it to APS. They will get an accounting and verify if anything illegal has happened and they will file the needed reports for LEO to get involved.
"... my father ... is 86 years old, living in assisted living with alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, mobility problems, and urinary tract infection."
Your profile also states that you wish to take him to your home as you think he will "do better" there. Aging decline is a continuous falling apart in most cases. If your Dad is in his 80's then you are probably in or near your 60s. Like Isthisrealyreal very thoroughly outlined, it will be an unsustainable arrangement to take him home as you won't be able to move him to change/clean him or transport him anywhere, and as his cognitive condition worsens (and it will) you may not have the funds to find in-home to give you relief. You will be an unpaid 24/7/365 caregiver with no days off.
If you think there has been financial fowl play then you will need to take your concrete evidence to an attorney. If you lose your case you will still have to pay the attorney.
As itsrealyreal said, if he's Medicaid-approved no financial irregularities were discovered.
Here's what I really don't get. YOU are his biological child, yet he left everything to his stepson? ?! Was that because your stepmother brought all the assets to their marriage? I know you say you don't care about the will, but especially since you say you have "no vehicle or resources," why aren't you bothered by this?
Please don't bring your father to your home to take care of him. If you've been reading here quite a while, you know what happens after that.
You state in your profile that dad has Alzheimer's/dementia.
You state in your question that dad is competent.
Contact APS they will initiate an investigation.
Your State (or his if it is different) has a toll free number to report Elder Abuse.
Either option would be a start.
Eventually Dad sold his house and used the equity to move to senior living. That was costing him $5k per month. Later he moved to Memory Care which was costing him $7k per month. Let's not forget the cost of personal items, such as Depends which are expensive.
Since my Dad could no longer drive, it didn't make sense for him to keep paying personal property tax and insurance on his vehicle.
Curious where you are getting your information since you rarely communicate with your Dad's Power of Attorney. If Dad is telling you these things, please note it is not uncommon for a person who had memory issues to make up stories.
Your Dad cannot be competent and have a Dementia. I think you need to go see him. Find a friend to take you there. You are listening to a man with cognitive decline and a stepson who may or may not be telling you the truth. As said, Dad could not be OKd for Medicaid if there were any discrepancies in his bank accounts. Medicaid has a 5 year look back.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-dad-is-competant-his-poa-traded-his-truck-in-for-a-new-van-and-put-it-in-her-name-without-permiss-470209.htm
You have posted 2x since October of 2020 at which time Dad had been in an AL for 2 years then at 5k a month. This is now 2022, how long do you think 200k would last? And in 2020 you said Dad had mild Dementia. In 2 years it does not get better. He is not competent to make his own decisions. You cannot believe what he tells you. And I noticed out of the previous 2 posts, you never responded to replies.