Follow
Share

He has had two brain hemorrhages as a result of falls. This monitor is not only for his safety, but for a small amount of freedom for me. He doesn’t seem to understand why it’s important to wear. Rather he calls it his leash and says I am controlling him. Help.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
My husband wears a smartwatch and so do I. They communicate with each other and advise me if he's fallen. The watch also alerts emergency services and reports falls. Emergency services has called me when they thought he fell.

Since it's a snazzy looking watch, your husband might accept it rather than a pendant. We can call each other on the watch and it also functions as a walkie talkie. The Find Me feature allows me to know where he is every minute, but he doesn't necessarily know I keep tabs on him.
Helpful Answer (14)
Report
RaisingHope Jul 2023
Hi Fawnby, can you share the smartwatch vendor? I'm thinking about the same solution for me and my husband. Thanks, RaisingHope
(4)
Report
See 1 more reply
From your profile:

I am caring for my husband Larry, who is 85 years old, living at home with alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, hearing loss, heart disease, mobility problems, sleep disorder, stroke, and vision problems.

About Me
I am an active recently retired woman who is quietly going nuts!

What sort of monitor prevents falls in an elder with Alz/dementia? Who cannot understand or retain important information in the first place, or have the empathy or insight to realize why your life matters at all? Only his life matters, so a "leash" is how he views whatever this device is, and how he's going to view it. Once they get an idea stuck in their head, you honestly cannot chop it out of there with an AXE, either. They'll just keep going back to that idea, over and over and over again.

The wisest thing to do is get dh into a daycare program so you can enjoy some freedom, or place him in Memory Care Assisted Living if his care gets to be too much for you to manage. In reality, there is no way to prevent elders from falling, no matter what you do. I know.....my mother fell 95x and we tried everything imaginable to keep her safe.

Best of luck to you.
Helpful Answer (12)
Report

Peggy, your husband CAN'T understand why it's important for him to wear this device because he has dementia and his brain is broken. And it will only get worse.
And sadly falls are part of this horrible disease.
My late husband developed vascular dementia after having a massive stroke many years earlier and he was falling all the time. Even with me right here in the house with him. They really can't be prevented, until like my husband they become completely bedridden.
If his care is getting to just be too much for you at home, you may have to start looking into placing him in the appropriate facility. Although keep in mind that he will still continue to fall even if placed as many on this forum can attest to.
I hope and pray that you're taking good care of yourself and doing things that bring you joy as you matter in this equation as well.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

My MIL throws away and all 'fall pendant devices'. She believes they MAKE her fall. She recently threw out the 4th or 5th one. The kids are not replacing it and are just letting nature take its course.

She WILL fall, it's inevitable. It just became something they weren't willing to fight her about.

So, sadly, I guess when she does fall, she will lie there until somebody comes by to check on her.

This is not unusual. A lot of elders simply do not want to give in to that last vestige if 'independence'.

In MIL's case, she doesn't like that when she'd fall, the EMT's would show up and she'd get a trip to the ER. She was embarrassed about them coming.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

You will not convince him. "Convincing" is not compatible with dementia. A monitor will not prevent a fall' it will only let you know someone has already fallen. If you need some time off from constantly watching him, consider leolonnie's idea of and Adult Day Care program.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

His brain may be broken yet some of his ego is intact. Don't you know...men are invincible?

When they start falling like he does, incontinent or aggressive, IMO it is time to be placed in a facility.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

No "device" will prevent a fall.
The only thing a device will do is notify you when there is a fall. (notice I did not say "IF" he falls)
I can not imagine what freedom you get from a device that will notify you if he falls. If you mean that you run to the store and leave him home while you are gone...it sounds like he needs a caregiver with him and he should not be left alone.
If you want to know when he falls maybe cameras are a better option. You can view the camera feed on your phone so it you are out you can monitor what he is doing.
He will forget about the cameras so he will not feel that he is being "watched" all the time. When he falls you can make the 911 call for a Lift Assist.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

My mom was practically deaf. She couldn’t hear the people on the other side that were speaking to her. I ended up talking to them and having mom try to talk over me!

I found it faster and was to just call 911 in emergencies.

I don’t find these call button devices to be all that helpful. Old people are still going to fall.

I know that you would like to be able to manage this situation. These situations are never easily managed in a home setting.

Start looking at facilities. They have a staff who are trained to deal with all of this.

Best wishes to you and your husband.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I would see if he would wear a monitor that looks like a watch or if he would keep it in his pants pockets - and if his pants don't have pockets, get him ones that do. I hate to wear anything around me neck - even small necklaces annoy me. If my 2 suggestions don't work then one reply on here was making a small pocket on the back of his shirt and place it in there without him knowing it. Good Luck!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Tell him people who fall without anyone knowing, or nearby to help, can die of hypothermia. If the type of fall monitor he has offends him somehow, try to find one less obtrusive or 'leash'-like. I'm imagining a watch/wristband type, or something that can be attached to his clothing; tell him it's like a 'walkie-talkie' if he likes electronic gadgets ;-}
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter