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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Sometimes its a pride thing.. my father uses the pull on disposable ones under his incontinence washable boxer shorts... he maintains his dignity and everyone happy. Also use body wipes on days he thinks he doesnt need to wash.. it all helps.
SP, you are right, but with many years I’m caring for mom and aunt and talking to their nurse and care teams, I’ve learned how to walk them. My mom collapsed with me. Luckily I was able to hold her so she didn’t hit the ground.. tge therapy went well today. He was doing really well. Hi hope we have a good session tomorrow.
A dear friend had the same challenge with her Dad. In lending the background of NASA space technology to her Dad, that astronauts wear Maximum Absorbency Garments (MAG) under their spacesuits during long stretches of time she was able to convince her skeptical Dad to wear "astronaut underwear". I'm continually amazed by the importance of communication in caregiving. There are products out there that mimic NASA's MAGS. Best of Luck.
This won't make him wear briefs, but here are some tips for coping... useful even when briefs are worn.
Several have suggested disposable pads for the furniture. I have something similar to the one below for our sofa and recliner which has prevented quite a few stains.
I then have a washable pad similar to this to use on top of the cover, many times I only have to wash the pad. These look much better than the disposable pads or a washable bed pad. I also use one in the car.
Find stylish pull-ups that can easily pull apart on the side seams. If his incontinence is only urine, find pads that stick to the inside of his underwear. Also try toileting him every 2-3 hours while he is awake. If he is having problems dribbling or only passing small amounts of urine at a time, ask his usual medical doctor for a referral to a urologist. He might have an enlarged prostate and need medication to help. The referral is to make sure he doesn't have other problems.
Disposable underwear.. thank you for the vocabulary lesson.. I will try to use this phrase, as we are getting to that stage very soon.. I was thinking maybe putting regular underwear over the disposable ones, like that would look or feel better.. (?). Then again, not.., disposable underwear is not as comfortable as regular. I think technology is better nowadays. Msybe you get used to the feel of disposable underwear. I find it easier for him to have wipes close by too, as he doesn’t want help. The only thing he wants help with is to walk. I have a walker but he didn’t like using it.. so I am his walker. Thank goodness, I’ve had years of helping my mom and aunt getting up, and walking them. Hubby is bigger, but I’m glad I had that previous experience. I just didn’t realize I would put it to use so soon. It seems too soon for me.. in my eyes.. I guess things happen beyond our control..,
"The only thing he wants help with is to walk. I have a walker but he didn’t like using it.. so I am his walker." Careful with that as it is a sure fire way for you to get back injuries, etc for the rest of your life. You need to start insisting that he use his walker. You are and should not be his walker unless you want to be in physical pain from it for the rest of your life.
What works for us is the appropriate pad in the underwear. Caregivers and I place pads in all clean briefs before folding them and placing them in the drawer. Does he allow help if any kind in the bathroom at this time? Does he need help sitting and putting on pants? I am able to switch my LO into the disposable products without a word when I help with dressing. There are videos online that can explain better than I can write. Use key words like occupational therapy, dementia, applying briefs, incontinence, adaptive dressing. I use an application technique that doesn't require removal of the pants (or shoes usually).
Nothing like lectures on the word "diapers" when Agingcare offers the category ADULT DIAPERS to place your question under, huh? 😑
Sounds like you found an answer to the problem by replacing hubbies regular underwear with Depends. You can also try the new incontinence underwear on Amazon recommended to you. You may also want to pick up some chuck pads to put down on the furniture in case of leakage.
For the 10-15 years I've worked in this field, I've always called them:
disposal underwear.
That is what they are. The words you use matter to the person needing to - or wearing them.
We all want to maintain our personal dignity.
In part, I would encourage your husband to talk to you - share how he feels about these things. He must feel embarrassed and/or humiliated, and angry. Whatever he feels, encourage him to 'get it out.' This will ease and hopefully support him changing his feelings / association about wearing DISPOSAL UNDERWEAR.
I would like to delete (adult) diapers from everyone's vocabulary. Although, like everything else, awareness is a process through personal experience and education.
Agreed--language matters. My spouse (93) and I (86) luckily do not need these products yet and, I hope, never. However, if we do, disposable underwear or briefs would sound considerably more appealing in an unwelcome situation than "adult diapers"!
As others have said, call them briefs, even the ones with tabs. After several years of my husband using them, I'm trying to switch to calling them underwear since technically that is what they are for him now.
We began with the pads in his regular underwear.
I then got my husband to agree to using briefs when we left the house in case a bathroom was not easily accessible, or in our case if I could not find a family bathroom where I could assist him.
Later I asked him to wear them overnight to minimize having so much laundry.
Eventually he may have even decided for himself to wear them all the time even though some days he is still only "semi" incontinent.
FYI, I did not get rid of all of his underwear because as the Pandemic showed, we could easily have a time that disposable products become back ordered. I also bought a stash of inexpensive wash cloths that could be used in his underwear and be washed instead of disposable briefs and/or pads if they become unavailable.
Being a caregiver during the Pandemic made me more aware of a lot of ways providing good care can be challenged when there are shortages not only of basic needs but special needs even more so.
TRANQUILITY is the brand of incontinence products have found to be the best.
This is very short cited and mean spirited. And, doesn't support or help the woman asking us - reaching out to us for support. DO realize this woman is married to this man - and she is in their home, too. If the laundry doesn't get done, it is a situation that affects her too. Being flippant in responding here doesn't help anyone.
Although I DID think of this woman getting a caregiver / housekeeper in JUST to do the laundry. It is the very short response to a much broader need/issue.
It doesn't address her husband's feelings about needing these personal hygiene supplies, and his physical changes to need them.
If he is still wearing "regular" underwear you can get pads that can be put in the underwear. There are absorbent underwear that do not need pads, or pads can be added. I would then begin to tranistion from "regular" underwear to the disposable pull up type. (Unless doing the laundry for the reusable ones is not a problem for you) The washable underwear might be alright as long as it is urine incontinence but when he becomes bowel incontinent then the disposable ones are so much easier to deal with. In his 50's this is going to be a long road make things as easy as possible for yourself.
If his incontinence management is currently relatively manageable, there is real, washable men’s fabric underwear available on Amazon.
It is manufactured with a heavy sewn in padded insert, and as long as he is willing to “change his pants” fairly frequently, they may work for a period of time.
If using them is combined with a adult sized super absorbent collection “pad” that adheres to fabric, the double use of both may help you to keep him cleaner and easier to manage.
Be aware though, that these situations rarely improve, and often progress to being much worse over a short period of time.
Hope you are making arrangements for relief coverage to allow you to give yourself respite time as his caregiver.
This is certainly a good response ... needing to be considered, as hard as it may be. Thank you. I didn't think of this (as there wasn't any background about her husband's medical condition / physical abilities).
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
tge therapy went well today. He was doing really well. Hi hope we have a good session tomorrow.
In lending the background of NASA space technology to her Dad, that astronauts wear Maximum Absorbency Garments (MAG) under their spacesuits during long stretches of time she was able to convince her skeptical Dad to wear "astronaut underwear".
I'm continually amazed by the importance of communication in caregiving.
There are products out there that mimic NASA's MAGS.
Best of Luck.
Several have suggested disposable pads for the furniture. I have something similar to the one below for our sofa and recliner which has prevented quite a few stains.
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Sofa-Covers-Quilted-Throw-Washable-Anti-Slip-Cover-Couch-Furniture-Protector-Pet/2566186547?from=/search
https://www.walmart.com/ip/SURES-Waterproof-Recliner-Cover-for-Small-Chairs-Washable-Furniture-Incontinence-Pad-Grey/1945881521?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=6195
I then have a washable pad similar to this to use on top of the cover, many times I only have to wash the pad. These look much better than the disposable pads or a washable bed pad. I also use one in the car.
https://www.walmart.com/search?q=incontinent+pad+for+chair
I was thinking maybe putting regular underwear over the disposable ones, like that would look or feel better.. (?).
Then again, not..,
disposable underwear
is not as comfortable as regular. I think technology is better nowadays.
Msybe you get used to the feel of disposable underwear.
I find it easier for him to have wipes close by too, as he doesn’t want help. The only thing he wants help with is to walk. I have a walker but he didn’t like using it.. so I am his walker. Thank goodness, I’ve had years of helping my mom and aunt getting up, and walking them. Hubby is bigger, but I’m glad I had that previous experience. I just didn’t realize I would put it to use so soon. It seems too soon for me.. in my eyes..
I guess things happen beyond our control..,
Sounds like you found an answer to the problem by replacing hubbies regular underwear with Depends. You can also try the new incontinence underwear on Amazon recommended to you. You may also want to pick up some chuck pads to put down on the furniture in case of leakage.
https://a.co/d/0n4brlY (incontinence underwear)
https://a.co/d/1oAk9Mm (chuck pads)
Best of luck!
disposal underwear.
That is what they are.
The words you use matter to the person needing to - or wearing them.
We all want to maintain our personal dignity.
In part, I would encourage your husband to talk to you - share how he feels about these things. He must feel embarrassed and/or humiliated, and angry. Whatever he feels, encourage him to 'get it out.' This will ease and hopefully support him changing his feelings / association about wearing DISPOSAL UNDERWEAR.
I would like to delete (adult) diapers from everyone's vocabulary.
Although, like everything else, awareness is a process through personal experience and education.
Let us know how it goes. (No pun intended).
Gena / Touch Matters
We began with the pads in his regular underwear.
I then got my husband to agree to using briefs when we left the house in case a bathroom was not easily accessible, or in our case if I could not find a family bathroom where I could assist him.
Later I asked him to wear them overnight to minimize having so much laundry.
Eventually he may have even decided for himself to wear them all the time even though some days he is still only "semi" incontinent.
FYI, I did not get rid of all of his underwear because as the Pandemic showed, we could easily have a time that disposable products become back ordered. I also bought a stash of inexpensive wash cloths that could be used in his underwear and be washed instead of disposable briefs and/or pads if they become unavailable.
Being a caregiver during the Pandemic made me more aware of a lot of ways providing good care can be challenged when there are shortages not only of basic needs but special needs even more so.
TRANQUILITY is the brand of incontinence products have found to be the best.
And, doesn't support or help the woman asking us - reaching out to us for support. DO realize this woman is married to this man - and she is in their home, too. If the laundry doesn't get done, it is a situation that affects her too. Being flippant in responding here doesn't help anyone.
Although I DID think of this woman getting a caregiver / housekeeper in JUST to do the laundry. It is the very short response to a much broader need/issue.
It doesn't address her husband's feelings about needing these personal hygiene supplies, and his physical changes to need them.
There are absorbent underwear that do not need pads, or pads can be added.
I would then begin to tranistion from "regular" underwear to the disposable pull up type. (Unless doing the laundry for the reusable ones is not a problem for you)
The washable underwear might be alright as long as it is urine incontinence but when he becomes bowel incontinent then the disposable ones are so much easier to deal with.
In his 50's this is going to be a long road make things as easy as possible for yourself.
It is manufactured with a heavy sewn in padded insert, and as long as he is willing to “change his pants” fairly frequently, they may work for a period of time.
If using them is combined with a adult sized super absorbent collection “pad” that adheres to fabric, the double use of both may help you to keep him cleaner and easier to manage.
Be aware though, that these situations rarely improve, and often progress to being much worse over a short period of time.
Hope you are making arrangements for relief coverage to allow you to give yourself respite time as his caregiver.
Have you tried removing all of his regular underwear?
If he insists on being incontinent without protection in your home, is it time to consider placing him?
Gena / Touch Matters