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Other than that he is vey pleasant to her. He is unable to get out of bed and has no control of bladder or bowels so needs to be cleaned frequently . Any suggestions?
Have you thought about having a catheter placed in him so all you'd or the aide would have to worry about was when he pooped? That would certainly cut down on him having to be changed. Also you could try giving him some of his anti-anxiety medication(if he's on any)a half hour before he needs to be changed to see if that makes him more calm. Other than that I got nothing, but perhaps others on here may have some other suggestions.
This isn't uncommon. Due to our history of toilet training never leaving us, it often survives when all other memories have long gone from us. If this is the only problem with outbursts I would discuss with the aid. If she/he is able to muster through these times, that is great. If not, and if it is becoming impossible to keep your husband clean you may require placement where there is more than one staff member involved in changes, or some thought to medications that may help your husband. So sorry. This is just hit and miss and try anything-everything. Wishing you good luck.
An experienced aide will plow thru this with determination and get the job done each time, ignoring outbursts and yelling or cussing. It's common behavior with dementia. If his aide is unable to handle these brief changes, it's time to hire a new aide who HAS experience with angry dementia patients. Or, get him placed in a Memory Care Assisted Living facility or SNF where it's an everyday occurrence for the staff. You can't change HIM unless you try giving him Ativan to keep him more relaxed in general.
If DH is rational at all, you could try telling him that he MUST be changed or he will eventually be in hospital with illness. If he WON”T let the ‘nice’ aide change him, you will have to hire a second aide to force it on him. The cost of that will be prohibitive, so he will soon need to go to a facility where there are always two aides available. It’s all true!
Could you try having a TV visible from the bed, so that he has something else to focus on besides the aide? A car race, with headphones on loud?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Also you could try giving him some of his anti-anxiety medication(if he's on any)a half hour before he needs to be changed to see if that makes him more calm.
Other than that I got nothing, but perhaps others on here may have some other suggestions.
Good luck to you
Aides that change the one lady tend to ignore her loud outbursts and her get out of heres.
Could you try having a TV visible from the bed, so that he has something else to focus on besides the aide? A car race, with headphones on loud?