She lives in an AL. They will help her put them on and take them off whenever. But, throughout the day, she will take them off, pull the batteries out, put them in wrong, etc.. She calls me all day saying these things don't work. We have had them checked and her hearing. Everything should be fine. I spent 2 hours with her yesterday getting her the correct batteries, making sure they were working, cleaning them, etc.. Today, she has been calling me all day saying they don't work. I don't know what to do. I believe her issue is a processing issue, not a hearing issue. She always wants new "ear plugs" as she calls them.
We all finally just gave up. He couldn’t get it. He couldn’t hear. We were exhausted. $7000 hearing aids just sat in the box while we continued to scream at him. Lewy Body Dementia was the big disconnect. The hearing aids and all the parts were fine, his brain wasn’t.
At some point, you just may have to give up. For your own sanity.
Like your mom, she claims they don’t work, removes the batteries, puts them back in backwards, loses the batteries, and so on. I get them working again and before you know it she has taken it apart to “fix” it or replace the batteries.
If I ask her why she would replace brand new batteries that were working the day before as clearly that wasn’t the issue she realizes that doesn’t make sense and gets embarrassed but she also says it wasn’t working and she was trying to fix it. Then she asks for a new one or if I fix it she asks what I did. I tell her “Whatever you do don’t open it up because it will only make it worse” but it goes in one ear and out the other.
She can’t come to terms with the fact that the problem is with her and not the devices. She constantly asks for a new cell phone despite having a brand new iPhone and a new iPad as well because “this one is old and doesn’t work” even though it works fine. Same with the cable box. She takes all the wires apart and then wants a new one. Sometimes she loses the components so even I can’t help her. I tell her to call the cable company and bless them they usually fix it for her.
At some point when she kept taking things apart I stopped fixing them for her. She got mad for awhile but eventually asked nicely me to help her so I did. However, when she inevitably takes them apart I do so on my own time. I have noticed that things seem to be breaking less often as a result because she knows she will just be without until I feel like helping so she is less inclined to fiddle.
He recognized that she had dementia said "Don't waste your money" she won't be able to mange them, her issue is processing not hearing".
That ended that, and he was right.
She needs something to focus on... in her mind, a puzzle to solve, a need to assert 'something is wrong... fix it.' A way to get attention.
Refocus her attention with photos - things that do not require hearing.
Do not continue to answer the phone. You are the carrot on the stick. She wants your attention and she wants to hear as she thinks she should be able to. Which she likely won't as hearing aids are not 100% or do not 100% restore hearing as it was before hearing aids were needed.
Try to either spend more quality time with her (not quantity ... answering the phone all the time) and re-directing her as much as possible. Or if possible, hire a caregiver to spend time with her, or get a volunteer (church, neighbor?)
I believe this is a call for attention. Lovingly set limits and redirect.
Gena / Touch Matters
Perhaps there is a solution in this article about Cochlear implants.
My mom has similar issues with her cell phone. Has been in a SNF long term care facility for almost 3 years, has dementia, can't locomotive, and has a host of other medical/psychological problems. She routinely calls, saying her cell phone does not work and she needs a new one. She keeps putting it in airplane mode, turns off WiFi or turns the volume way down or something else. I just leave a message saying, "glad to hear the staff helped you" and basically ignore it all. The aides at the SFN try to help when they can but this pattering will only continue and get worse. I and many others had to block her, as she'd call all hours of the night (has nights and days totally mixed up).
Why have a cell phone at all? It is like a security blanket, so helps w/keeping her calm. And she likes (can still remember how) to scroll through the pictures on the phone. At some point, she'll forget how to do that too and at some point taking the phone away may be best.
Same may go for the hearing aides, at some point they may just not be useful and may be causing more confusion and stress.
Best of luck with this, this is NOT at all easy. Frankly, it is all maddening.
I would confer with the audiologist or hearing aid specialist and her PCP to get a consensus on options going forward. It is only anxiety provoking to everyone to continue with the current situation; no matter how many times you explain the batteries etc, she will not remember; and, she will not remember that she has called you so she keeps calling....
Practice good self care !
You could spend 5 hours with her trying to teach and show her what to do and within minutes she will forget.
You may have to accept that she won't be able to wear them, and you all will just have to talk loud.
Losing the ability to comprehend is very common with folks that have dementia, so you are going to have to pick your battles with your MIL. I'm not sure this one is worth fighting.
I noticed my Mom was always walking to her left. You would place her in the middle of a sidewalk and she would vear to her left. After testing to rule out a stroke her Neurologist felt that the loss of her peripheral vision was caused by her Dementia. The brain is literally dying and as the Dementia hits the part of the brain that controls hearing, sight, taste and smell, those senses are no more. The first sign of Dementia is the loss of smell.
My mom can hear well one day and not so well another, so I'm with you. I think she has days where it's hard for her to process.
My LO’s doctor advises that he needs the best hearing aids money can buy. That’s partly because dementia is closely linked to hearing issues, and I’m sure that’s true. What doctor didn’t mention was what to do if the brain is unable to process the signals coming into it from the ears.
I’m inclined to think that if they can’t process, there’s no point in wearing hearing aids. If you find out, please post and let us know.