Mom is 72 with end stage dementia. I am always the target of her anger and frustration, and I understand this. Lately, when I have to tell her “no” about something, she then ignores me by refusing to acknowledge anything I say or do. Example: Mom can’t walk, but thinks she can. She will try to climb out of a recliner without putting her legs down first. I stop her before she hurts herself. She then gets very exasperated with me. Huffing and pouting. When I try to find out what she wanted or needed, she won’t talk to me. She folds her arms and turns her head. She breathes deeply and blows it out her mouth like she is trying to calm herself. For the next hour she won’t speak to me, acknowledge me, or do anything that I ask. If my husband asks her things, she is happy and pleasant. What to do? I am here with her by myself most of every day. I am worried she is going to try to do something she shouldn’t out of spite.
She has GERD and pockets her food, so when I ask her to sit up in her chair to prevent choking or heartburn, she can get a little spicy with me and I understand that!
Mom is end stage 6 Alzheimer's and lives in a Memory Care facility now. I (at least) am happier because the house is not in an upset. The poor c/g's at the facility endure her anger and hitting and scratching them. She is on medication, and most of the time it works but she can be (as my dad would have said) as nasty as cat pee.
Try to tune it out and not take it personally. Maybe she knows she has lost her freedom and is in a bad mood about it.
This life is tough.
Luckily today my daughter took him off my hands. I have too many years behind me of CG for him and I am reliving the horrors of those--as I have this new one to deal with.
We really aren't speaking to each other, and that seems to work better. I can't do enough to encourage him to take some responsibility for his meds and diet and exercise and I am no going to even try.
To not take it personally when it is very much meant "personally" is very hard. I KNOW he's having a hard time, and I'm trying to help. Stepping away is how I am going to help. I did that with mother--a lot easier since I don't have to live with her.
I agree 100%--life is tough.
(((hugs)))
Ouch, your first sentence is heartbreaking. I bet you're an lovely lady, and awesome daughter!
Big Cyber Huggz!