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My husband is her caregiver in our home. I am NOT her care giver, she refuses to shower. It’s been many weeks. Is this common? I have nothing to do with her being she only speaks Spanish and I only speak English!
Very common . So sorry . Do you want to share more details ? Is mother in law incontinent , have dementia ? Is she difficult to live with in general ? . How do you and your husband feel about her living in your home ?
It's more common with those with some type of dementia, yet you don't mention that she has any. I can only guess that in fact she does, so make sure that she has grab bars in the shower to hold on to. a slip proof matt, and shower chair to sit on as well, as often the reason the elderly don't want to take a shower is because they're afraid that they will fall. So make sure she feels safe. She may also need help showering, so since you say you're not hands on with her, it may be best to hire an aide to come a few times a week to give her a shower(with her money of course), as I'm guessing her son does not want to shower his own mom. And he shouldn't have to. When my late husband was later in his dementia I had to help wash him up in the shower as he sat on the shower bench. Of course I got a little wet as well, but at least I knew that he was clean. Best wishes in bringing someone on board that can help your MIL in the shower.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
https://www.agingcare.com/search?term=refuse+to+shower
So make sure she feels safe. She may also need help showering, so since you say you're not hands on with her, it may be best to hire an aide to come a few times a week to give her a shower(with her money of course), as I'm guessing her son does not want to shower his own mom. And he shouldn't have to.
When my late husband was later in his dementia I had to help wash him up in the shower as he sat on the shower bench. Of course I got a little wet as well, but at least I knew that he was clean.
Best wishes in bringing someone on board that can help your MIL in the shower.