Waiting in an airport takes time and the flight is 3 hours. I know an accident will happen but have no idea how we could clean up on an airplane? Obviously she wears depends but those don't work very well with bowel incontinence. They leak. Plus there is the factor of her fellow passengers. Anyway to make this work? Are there any medications that would help?
In case you are thinking still of this trip with your mom--let me share a little something with you. I flew from Atlanta to SLC yesterday. 4 hours+....and elderly man was sick in the mid-cabin bathroom. I was sitting about 15 rows back, but I may as well have been in there with him. I cannot describe the smell---people were vomiting, walking to back of the plane and refusing to return to their seats near that bathroom. It was over an hour before the smell dissipated enough to not make breathing a constant misery. People were not impolite, but it made a rough trip nearly unbearable. My DH was sitting close to the bathroom, but he has basically no sense of smell and even he said it was pretty bad.
I saw the man being removed from the plane by his younger companion and placed in a wheelchair. He was wrapped in blankets. He was also clearly mortified.
Having been up close and personal to an accident of this kind--please consider the fellow passengers.
I do not know exactly how much of an inconvenience this ended up being to the hotel but I would imagine that losing an entire shuttle inconvenienced dozens if not hundreds of travelers who had to find alternative transportation to the hotel because the wait time doubled. Now imagine the shuttle is an airplane! Anyone who has flown recently understands that airlines don't have extra planes just sitting around!!!
I only traveled one more time after that with MIL - at her insistence - and when she had a medical emergency on that last trip, my husband and I told her we would not travel with her anymore and she just had to accept that. I do like the gift bags story but I cannot agree that a gift bag is sufficient to knowingly risk inconveniencing people.
Along with the possibility of an accidental bowel or bladder, the entire ordeal will be super stressful for her....all the hustle & bustle of an airport, going through security ( I am sure you have heard of episodes where TSA May pull her for an additional security check), boarding, change in altitude (can present fearful symptoms for her that she doesn’t understand), etc
I hope you can reconsider but if she must go, there were excellent suggestions offered in this thread.
Good luck!
The people were very kind. During the long flight - mom did have a few bad spells of agitation where she was rocking and crying but the daughter was able to soothe her and manage the medication. People around were very considerate.
Perhaps this is a one in a thousand situation. But anyway - good luck.
Your mother"s bowel incontinence is due to extreme B-vitamin deficiency. Go to a health food store and buy the B-total sublingual and give it to her daily.
Could everyone with dementia do this? My gosh, no! But several members of my caregiver support group traveled to Europe with their demented loved one (with more than one capable adult helping.)
As far as the dementia goes, each caregiver knows her loved one best and needs to make her own judgment.
But the incontinence is what makes this sound so very challenging. Others have given some good advice about how to handle this if the trip must be made by air.
People do it all the time with children and ill patients, why not the elderly?
If it were me, I would start with contacting the airline first.
1) Watch her diet the week prior to make sure she doesn't have a large blowout. Lots of liquids early in the week to avoid constipation which may release mid-air (as cabin pressure increases...). Then taper the liquids 24 hrs prior or whatever is best for her toileting.
2) Double layer Depends. If they aren't holding her waste, try a smaller size in the inside and a bigger size over that.
3) Diaposable waterproof pads for her seat(s) are a must to avoid the worst-case scenario for everyone. Both under her and on the back of her seat. I recommend interweave across, down the back, then another across the seat and another down (pull off the top layer then still have a second just in case). The pads roll up and dispose of easily. I also used them with my toddlers. Available at Walgreens/drug stores or online. Go for xtra large if you can.
4) Plastic bags double upped with rubber bands to seal and gallon ziplocs do you can clean up right away.
5) A few changes of clothes including easy on/off shoes. Ideally things that you're already thinking of tossing, so you can seal it properly then toss it.
6) Wet wipes and gloves if you use them to assist her toileting
7) Arrange for wheelchairs on departure and arrival. Even if she's mobile, you'll get from A to B much quicker and with less disorientation.
8) As for meds such as anti-diareahal the night prior, talk with her doctor. It should be do-able, and if she has ongoing diarrhea from meds or otherwise, the doctor should address that anyways.
Unfortunately, it's hard for folks to imagine and other options seem better unless they've been there and actually looked into it. After my mom died unexpectedly, my Dad needed to move in with us immediately. As a pregnant lady with an under-one-year-old and a job I desperately needed, Amtrak wasn't gonna work (and it would have been WAY worse for him to be totally disoriented for days for all functions of sleeping, toileting, and eating vs just a few hours, aside from being crazy expensive). Flying with total incontinence was manageable and uneventful (thanks to family restrooms and a well-planned carry on) compared to many tasks of caregiving. Take care. Be strong. I hope this helps.
What I will add is our experience with taking father in law on a two hour flight so we could attend a family reunion. We were full of good intentions but so uneducated about the ways Dad’s brain perceived things. The entire experience troubled him - everything from the announcements over the PA system to the frenetic movement of people moving about the airport. There is SO MUCH added stimulation his brain had to try and process that by the time we got on the plane, he was a nervous wreck and he was on prescribed meds for anxiety too!
We made it to our destination but arrived exhausted with trying to keep Dad occupied and comforted. The flight crew was amazing so we got lucky there...we rented a car for the return trip home. It took us much longer but it was absolutely the right option for him as he was more serene.
Good luck to you!
The other factor you might not have considered are the charming people who check you through security at the airport. The last thing you need is to have them demand to search her or have her dementia trigger an angry rant (if that's an issue). I'm not going to lecture you about going the way some of the 'holier-than-thou' types here have, but you really need to consider all the factors.
Best wishes for your trip.