My mother lives in a wonderful assisted living memory care unit with some ability to still care for herself and is normally a very pleasant person. At the end of each day she lays the clothes she’s already worn over the arm of her sofa and usually tucks her socks into her shoes. She forgets how many times she has worn them and her clothes hamper is always empty when I visit. I don’t have a problem with her wearing the same clothes a couple days but more than that and she’s starting to smell a little ripe! These actions are starting to become a little more un-hygienic now because she is also starting to lose control of her bowels. I’ve already mentioned my dilemma to the caregivers and they are willing to help but my mother tends to become aggressive when they try to help her shower or clean up. Looking for tips and advice from anyone who has experienced the same.
I do think it was comfort and sensitive skin. Any new outfit was quickly discarded. She was perhaps grasping for the familiar.
Buying multiples helped tremendously.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/when-is-it-time-to-place-a-loved-one-with-dementia-188309.htm
My mom does the same, wears the same thing over and over. Usually when I visit, I need to get her to change her pants because they are dirty. I usually try to get there when I know she will be out of her room. That allows me to inspect the clothes in her closet and put the dirty ones in the laundry. I've even found underwear that she rinsed out and put to dry on the total rack or shower seat. They smell terrible and go in the clothes basket. I'm always reminding her that they go for washing, they smell bad and are not clean from just rinsing. I have a car plan review soon. And this will be a point for discussion. It seems this is a very common issue for us caregivers.
When mom gets to the point where she can no longer dress herself they can just get her dressed in clean clothes but as long as she is dressing herself they should just replace the soiled with clean. Let her have the "independence" that she has for as long as she can
After reading this, something didn't seem right. How can they let an elderly person wear the same clothes everyday without their hygiene being addressed.
A person with Dementia cannot always make their own decisions. A better plan that works needs to be drawn up immediately. This could lead to bedsores, infections and UTI's.
You have to have the mindset that you are caring for a child. You don't let them decide. Everyone has to wash, bathe, brush your teeth, clean undies, etc. on a daily basis. The sheets needs to be changed on a frequent basis. All of this should be part of the daily routine.
I would hire a one-on-one "the same" person to show up and shower mother, etc. It should be like clock-work. Just to say she refused, I don't see how this can continue.
I don't think an Assisted Living is the answer for you. I would start looking around.
It's gotten tough getting her into the shower. I've taken to a "practice run" with clothes on the day before her shower. Other times she gives herself "a whore's bath" everyday in the sink. That's fine with me. She never smells.
There are various reasons why older people dislike showering on a regular basis.
There wasn’t a hygiene issue with my mom. She loved feeling fresh and she loved her stylish wardrobe. She was part of the Hollywood glamour era and was a bit vain!
My mom was hesitant or uncomfortable about getting into the shower because she was afraid of falling. She had balance issues due to her Parkinson’s disease. I placed a shower chair in her bathroom for her. Even with the chair, safety bars and non slip mat, she was never truly comfortable.
My mom didn’t fight being showered but many people have these issues.
Stick around for answers. Others who have had your experience will offer suggestions.
Best wishes to you and your mom.