She hit the corner of the coffee table and has a goose egg bump on her head. She should be checked over by a doctor, but has already refused medical care when I took her to the emergency room after an even worse fall some time ago, and refused medical care when I called 911 after a fall last week. It's been explained to me that no one can force medical care on her. I believe she has dementia, but we haven't a diagnosis because she refuses to see a doctor or have medical care. Help.
Why is Mom having these falls. Won't use a cane or walker? If she is in the hospital long enough rehab will be suggested. If she won't go to rehab, try home therapy. Both will evaluate Mom and may recommend she use a walker. Maybe even a wheelchair. If she ever breaks a hip, thats a few weeks of rehab.
If Mom can still make informed decisions I would talk to her about financial and medical POAs. If she fights it, ask her if she wants strangers making decisions for her. Once she can no longer make informed decisions, you will be able to make them for her. My Moms MPOA read like a living will. Here in NJ all healthcare facilities have DNR form that can be filled out wit Moms wishes. Will need her doctors signature. Since she already has in her head she wants no interference concerning her care, then it should be easy for her to go along with. Keep a copy for the EMTs. One at her primaries and one on your person. Be aware though, once a feeding tube is inserted, its very hard to get removed. My daughter told me with Mom having Dementia, don't allow it at all.
It is so hard dealing with our aging parents. I was one of the lucky ones. Mom just went along with it. She knew early on she was having problems and always asked for help. It is so hard to know what to do. Good Luck.
NEVER FEEL GUILTY ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE'S ACTIONS ONLY YOUR OWN - you can't be responsible for her refusal for treatment as many do because it was her call in the end - some people just get to point that they are finished with life because THEIR spirit is tired & want to quit - nothing you can do to help & it really only stretches out their pain [physically & mentally] so that you may need to back off so that she can go in peace rather than struggling with life
This is not all people but there are those who want to go on their own terms - there used to be a saying 'she/he turn her/his face to the wall' which meant they were ready to go on their terms & without interventions
Mother's right-side chronic hematoma (brain bleed) in addition to the right-side acute hematoma are stabilized so she will be released from hospital today, and fingers-crossed, she will agree to go to a few days of physical therapy to help strengthen her. Since she is bed-bound, we need her to at least maintain what strength she has which helps keep her out of the nursing home, which is what she wants. I do strength training three times a week so that I am better able to manage the physical aspects of her caregiving, so i believe it's only fair that she put forth as much effort as she is able.
The decisions made to call 911, the wonderful emergency personnel, the good doctors, the fantastic hospital and staff, and all of you have made it possible to finally have help at home: a hospital bed, physical therapy, nurse visits, Hospice, and all of the products and services she is entitled with her excellent health care insurance. Prior to this hospital visit, we were not eligible for any help whatsoever because she absolutely refused to see a doctor and doctors orders were required for medical help and services in the home.
For the last three years, I've gone it alone and it was frightening and the worst experience of my life. It looks like those days of loneliness, fear, and no support are behind me thanks to caring and brave people who reached out and helped me during my time of need.
My mother is very fortunate and as sick as she is, things could not have worked out better. My only wish is that we could all have good care during our dying days.
My mom says stuff similar to yours but she also has dementia. I finally got her to the doctor by telling her I had something wrong with ME and they couldn't figure it out unless they compared us. The doctor agreed to the scenario and got the staff on board with it. I needed her to see the doctor for the checkup, diagnosis, etc., similar to you. She couldn't get other services without being seen first and having a diagnosis.
She never liked going to the doctor before she had dementia, but I based my choices for that plan on her actions in the past. Even though she didn't necessarily LIKE to go to the doctor, she DID choose to go to the doctor even on her own (Pre-dementia) when something was wrong, and she did make efforts and changes in her life to be healthier. Because of those things I decided that my plan was in line with her previous ways. Her current refusals were based on not being able to remember she had reasons to be seen by the doctor, etc.
Good luck sweetheart, this is hell for all involved.
The others that pointed out that you need to have her diagnosed as lacking capacity such as severe dementia or Alzheimers and procure guardianship.
If she is not diagnosed with the above, you can not force ongoing treatment on her.