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My mother recently came to live with us after the sudden death of her boyfriend. Her only income is social security, around $1,500 a month. Obviously this is not enough to live in an apartment but it's also not enough income to live in an income restricted apartment community. My resources for finding her a place to live is dwindling down to almost nothing. I would have to foot the bill for her additional expenses which will put us in such a financial bind. But having her live with us is also not a long-term option. We get along okay but there is some past trauma that I have due to her being an alcoholic. I called our one and only Section 202 community and the waitlist is closed and when it reopens, it's about 1.5 year wait. There is no one else in the family she could live with. I just don't know what to do and I'm afraid her being here is going to destroy my marriage. Sorry, I guess this is more of a vent than a question.

How recently did she move in? You need to give her the boot before she establishes residency or you’ll have to go through a long and costly eviction.
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Reply to ZippyZee
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How about a roommate, same sex? My sweet aunt and her neighbor moved in together after the loss of both their husbands, and they enjoyed it. It made staying in their pleasant neighborhood doable. Or a group home? There's one I know of where four or five women live in one house and share expenses. It's like Golden Girls. See if you can find something like that.
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Reply to Fawnby
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A room mate is a good option if she's open to that, otherwise she'll have to live in section 8 apartments, and go to food banks if needed, or apply for food stamps.
Also she can go on Medicaid if she's not already on it and they offer income limited folks help with groceries and over the counter medications and such.
Call 211, Area Agency on Aging, and Senior Services to see what exactly is available as far as help in your area for your mom.
And don't spend one penny of your own money on her as you need that for yourself and your own family.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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I agree that shared living may be an option. I am surprised that more elders don't have "roommates". Often one is capable and love to do one thing while the other can manage the other thing.
This is where I would begin my search. Meanwhile, living with you she is likely not even touching that SS. So she should be saving for first and last month rental and so on.
She doesn't seem to qualify for medicaid but she may for some types of care so I would consult with your local council on aging to prepare to get her qualified for any aid she can get.
Good luck. Be certain not to spend you OWN money, because you will soon be right where Mom is now, if you do.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Well, get her on that list when it opens again just to have a plan C. People die and find other options, etc, so it might come up sooner.
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Reply to southernwave
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Tap into the Department of Aging for your city and state. They should have some resources for elderly with low income even if it is where to hit the food banks, clothing and etc. In DC, they even offer free lunches for seniors where they can go and socialize. I'm thinking about going to one of these places myself just to get lunch and meet new people.

I've known people with good jobs and well educated, and when they retired, found themselves back in another job position to make ends meet. One lady told me that she couldn't live on that little bit of money. Myself included on this one. We pay into social security and when we retire, we expect a fairly decent amount even though sometimes it's less than what we anticipated.

People who receive disability don't get $1,500.00 a month. There are reasonably priced places for seniors on limited income. I was having a conversation with a gentleman on the bus and he was fussing about Medicare and how it's a ripoff. People of all races joined in on this conversation if they were retired. I am still pretty p'oed about the money I paid into the system and this is what I get back.

Sorry to hijack your post. If mom is still mobile and still has her good frame of mind, maybe she can get some part time employment to supplement her social security check. I found myself working in a field I thought I would never return to working as a home health aide to supplement my income. Hopefully, I can get some classes that may land me a better paying job. The thing is, I have grown to enjoy my freedom and the hours.

Working will get her out of the house and give her a sense of independence.

I know that people don't like it when parents and kids live together, but my daughter and I are planning to find a place in a less expensive area so we can share expenses. All of my good friends are deceased, so the idea of getting a roommate at this time in life is out of the question.

No, I'm not looking for old age insurance and will continue to work if my health permits. It's just inflation, the cost of food and housing is just to expensive here. I probably won't be able to retire until I'm about ninety!
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Reply to Scampie1
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Lybra975 Nov 8, 2024
Hi thanks for the advice! She's mobile but due to the alcoholism she is rather slow moving. In all honesty, she would probably sit in her apartment most of the time unless to go to the store. I just can't have her drinking in my house. She picks arguments and my husband won't tolerate it. It then causes tension between everyone.
I would love her to work just a few hours a week to get out but we Will see about that.
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