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All of our mom's cares is being dumped on me while they travel, work and have fun. I get yelled at from his girlfriend all the time, I'm not getting paid to plus he took everything right out from under me. I want to leave and cut ties with all of them.

Don’t tolerate being yelled at, no one deserves it. Decide if you want to provide some caregiving or none at all and do exactly that, no justifications needed. As an adult you choose what you’ll do and no one can take advantage of you if you stop allowing it. I wish you peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Very little info to go on here.

If you are not POA or guardian , you have no real obligations.

If Mom can arrange her own care then give her notice that you can no longer do this .

If your sibling is POA, give sibling notice that you can no longer do this .

If you are guardian or POA and it’s in effect , you can place Mom in a facility using her funds, the sale of her house , or Medicaid depending on the level of care she needs .

If no one has POA or guardianship and your mom can not arrange her own care , then call APS or County Area of Aging to say there is no one to care for Mom any longer.
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Reply to waytomisery
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waytomisery Aug 2, 2024
I just want to add that I have 4 siblings .
I only routinely speak to one of them since I was the caregiver for my parents . 2 of them I mostly avoid . One I have been absolutely no contact for years .
Unfortunately , siblings can really suck .
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Why do you do it?

Does this situation provide you with a roof over your head? Food? A car? Are you living free at mom's house? Do you have a job?

I ask all these things because you must have some motivation for staying, and without knowing what it is, I can't know what to advise. Please enlighten!
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Reply to Fawnby
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Then DO leave. Much of everything in life is choice. Your siblings made their choices. Time for you to make yours. Give them the cut off date and cut ties.

You do not tell us who here lives with whom. You do not tell us anything about the person requiring care. You do not tell us if you have POA.

Given the little you have told us I can only suggest you make better choices for your own life going forward. And am left with wishing you the very best of luck going forward.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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ElizabethAR37 Aug 2, 2024
Yes, totally agree. This sounds like a possible "exploitation" situation to me. The OP/victim needs to formulate an exit plan that prioritizes personal safety.
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Contact your county's Adult Protective Services and tell them the situation.
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Reply to Dawn88
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You haven’t told us anything about your Mother and her own ability to organise her own care. Does she simply accept what you do without putting any demands on your sibling? If you just walk away, as suggested, what will happen to M? If she is at all competent, she needs to take some responsibility about dealing with what she needs. She needs to know that you are getting to the point of quitting.

If this is the only-too-common situation where ‘sibling’ is the golden boy, have it out with M. No wonder ‘they’ don’t step up when M likes it that way and you do what is wanted.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Cut them off !
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Reply to strugglinson
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I'll elaborate further.
1) you can choose to take care of Mom. Or you can choose not to. Your choice

2) Your sibling can choose to help take care of Mom. or he can choose not to. His choice

3) Its your choice whether you want to keep any relationship with your sibling. Or you can choose to cut him off, partially or completely. Its a free country. Your choice. If he or his girlfriend is yelling at you, manipulating you or abusing you, its your choice whether to take it or leave it. Thankfully, with current cell phones, one can block people as one wants. If there is a crucial or legal aspect and he has to communicate with you, there are other channels to get that done....

Without more details, I dont see any reason why you cant continue to take care of Mom if you want to continue, and block him out.
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