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He has asked me not to bother him anymore.

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NORTH CAROLINABILL OF RIGHTS FOR NURSING HOME RESIDENTS(condensed version)
EVERY RESIDENT SHALL HAVE THE FOLLOWING RIGHTS:
1.To be treated with consideration, respect and full recognition of personal dignity and individuality.
2.To receive care, treatment,and services that are adequate and appropriate, and in compliance with relevant federal and State rules.
3.To receive at the time of admission and during stay, a written statement of services provided by the facility and of related charges. Charges for services not covered under Medicare and Medicaid shall be specified.
4.To have on file physician’s orders with proposed schedule of medical treatment. Written, signed evidence of prior informed consent to participation in experimental research shall be in patient’s file.
5.To receive respect and privacy in his medical care program. All personal and medical records are confidential.
6.To be free of mental and physical abuse. To be free of chemical and physical restraint unless authorized for a specified period of time by a physician according to clear and indicated medical need.
7.To receive from the administrator or staff of the facility a reasonable response to all requests.
8.To receive visitors or have access to privacy in phone use at any reasonable hour. To sendand receive mail promptly and unopened, with access to writing materials.
9.To manage his/her own financial affairs unless other legal arrangements have been so ordered.
10.To have privacy in visits by the patient’s spouse.
11.To enjoy privacy in his/her own room.
12.To present grievances and recommend changes in policies and services without fear of reprisal, restraint, interference, coercion or discrimination.
13.To not be required to perform services for the facility without personal consent and written approval of the attending physician.
14.To retain, to secure storage for, and to use his personal clothing and possessions, where reasonable.
15.To not be transferred or discharged from a facility except for medical, financial, or their own or other patient’s welfare. Any such transfer shall require at least five days’ notice, unless the attending physician orders immediate transfer, which shall be documented in the patient’s medical record.
16.To be notified when the facility’s license is revoked or made provisional. The responsible party or guardian must be notified, also.

The Ombudsman is an advocate for those who live in long term care facilities.For more information on resident rights,call the Regional Long Term Care Ombudsman.(336) 294-4950or (336) 761-2111NORTH CAROLINA DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES Division Of Aging
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Does your son have a guardianship? Do you know why you were placed there?
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anonymous880023 Feb 2019
I was not told my son said the doctors suggested this but i am fullt capable of taking care of myself. I accidentally took too much medicine. I had a CNA who took care of me and i was in tge process of gwtting 6 hours of care daily so that i can stay in my elderly appt bldg that i lived in. I just want to go back to my apt and live. I asked him to sign me out and he told me to leave him alone because he lives in another state and i am in nc and he doesnt have time to be bothered. This place is not a good place and i want to leave, please help
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If you are capable you can start calling around to find a different place to live and make the arrangements to move, but returning to your previous life may not be possible, it is likely that your apartment has already been rented to someone else and your belongings are gone - have you thought of that? Is it possible your son has explained this to you already and he just doesn't want to keep going over it?

Is there anyone else who lives closer to you who you could appoint as your POA?
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Who is paying for your care? Medicaid or privately.

You need ro find an advocate. Call your local Adult Protection Services. Tell them your story and see if they can help. Or your Office of Aging.
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CNAlady,
No disrespect intended hun, but if you accidentally took too much medication and need a CNA to care for you 6 hours a day, you are NOT "fully capable" of taking care of yourself. It's hard to adjust as we loose more and more abilities that we used to take for granted.

It seems that your doctor recommended this move for your safety. Have you spoken to him/her about WHY (s)he recommended this move?

Since you aren't happy at the facility you're in now, would your son talk about moving you to another facility that would be more to your liking? Maybe you could move to a facility closer to your son.

Good luck with your future living arrangements.
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shad250 Feb 2019
Doctor can recommend but if he/she is not NH doctor at the facility he/she would not be her doctor.
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Ok, let's sort this out. Is this the first time over meds has happened? You don't have to answer that here but something to think about. Yes, 6 hours of care is kinda large swatch of the clock.

What do you not like about where you are versus where you were?
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Talk to the social worker at the facility where you are. Ask them to call your son and ask him if he will attend a meeting with them, and you, to discuss this. The meeting could even be by phone if he cannot be there in person. You are owed an explanation, in terms you can understand and be comfortable with. If they show you proof that you can understand that you are not able to care for yourself, you will have to accept it.
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Let's go back to where you were. Are you missing the friends you made? The staff? Your stuff? Just familiar surroundings?

You have been given some very good advice and helpful information. We all want to see you do well.

I hope you stick around and let us know how it goes. You matter.
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People, read. She was in an elderly APARTMENT building. She misses having an apartment. There is a big difference between a nursing home and an apartment with 6 hours of care a day. If the meds mistake was the first time it ever happened, her care worker can help her organize her dosages a week at a time with one of those 28-compartment pillboxes. Her son should be both disinherited and dropped as a POA.
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Judysai422 Feb 2019
Better still, meds can now be ordered in packets, just like they get them at AL facilities.
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CNAlady you must be very upset - it sounds as if your son hurt your feelings rather badly. I'm sorry for that.

The thing is, you don't need your son's help or his permission to return to your apartment with the correct level of support. Speak to the managers in your facility and tell them you want a care plan meeting. At the meeting, you will need to be clear that you wish to return home and would like assistance with arranging care.

Is this going to be a project that you can realistically manage? It is fine to need help with it, you should only have to ask; but if even with help it's beyond you then perhaps it might be sensible to have a rethink.

Are you still in touch with whoever arranged the CNA you had before? Perhaps that service could help again now.

The other thing is. If your son has been trying to do all of this from NC, and it all went horribly wrong (even though it was an accident), and he sincerely believes that it would be unsafe for you to be at home even with help, you can't really blame him for reaching the end of his rope. My guess is that it all comes from worrying about you, without his being able to do anything practical to make sure you're safe.

The moral of that story is that if you want to be in charge, you have to take charge and stop expecting him to do it for you. You have every right to return home if that is your decision, but you don't have any right to force your son to agree it's a good idea.
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Sheilamerritt Feb 2019
YOU have no rights ANYMORE!
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My 2 cents' worth.

This post was not written by the patient, but by the CNA who is now essentially out of a job b/c sonny boy had mom placed.

I'm sure feelings were hurt, and if my spidey senses are right, the OP will not come back.

Someone who requires 6 hrs per day of care and can't keep meds straight...just makes me wonder exactly HOW much they can function on their own. Perhaps son was just tired of some dramas and made the big decision.

Curious--what was the medicine and how much did you take and how did your son find out about it? Did it require a trip to the ER? That would have alerted sonny to the going's on.

There's a whole lot more going on here. If you had care and weren't bothering him with anything, why would he care? In my experience, most men (sorry guys) do not go looking for trouble.
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worriedinCali Feb 2019
This is exactly what the OPs profile suggests. The OP is the CNA.....
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CNAlady,
It's very nice of you to advocate for your patient however the son MUST have POA rights (power of attorney rights) to be able to "place" his mother in a facility. That means she is not (mentally) competent to take care of herself. Obviously her memory is slipping if she got her medications confused and she's not physically able to help herself with normal daily activities either.

Your caring attitude is commendable but, since he "seems" to have authority over decisions regarding her, you cannot do anything. If you can still visit her, I'm sure she'd find comfort in that.

Other than that, it seems to be a closed case.
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To have someone posting a question AS the person that was placed in a facility is VERY confusing as some of the answers are as if the person posting the question IS the person that was placed in the facility. In fact the person posting is a CNA (I question that !) that is supposedly caring for the person that was placed in the facility.

I think CNAlady might want to look over something that she might have missed in one of her classes. It is called "Boundaries". Boundaries exist for a reason and I think you may have over stepped a bit.
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The way you have written this is confusing. Your profile suggests that you are a care-giver (CNA) so I am assuming you are writing this for one of your patients? In my experience if a patient wishes to be discharged and is capable of self-care it's a simple matter of them telling the nursing home they are moving out, renting a new place to stay, calling a moving truck and moving. However, most nursing homes I'm familiar with do not allow admission of people who are capable of self-care. In other words, maybe the patient needs to address the desire to go home with the doctors and counselors at the facility and find out why they all think nursing home placement is required.
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JoAnn29 Feb 2019
Previous posts thinks CNA lost her job because son put Mom in a NH. She is trying to get her out so she can have her job back.
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I am flummoxed by your question/post since you state that you are a CNA.
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Quite frankly, if you are posting and assuming identity of a former client, you should be ashamed of yourself. You should.

You have tried to take advantage of helpful souls. Shame on YOU.
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Furthermore it was apparently you who screwed up the meds. You are who we need, as caregivers, to be protected from.
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JoAnn29 Feb 2019
I am under the impression that CNAs are not allowed to give Meds unless they are Medtechs. Meaning, that the client is still responsible for there own meds. In NHs only LPNs and RNs can distribute meds. CNAs, and in some states, LPNs are not allowed to give shots either.
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My answer to your question is not going to be comforting to you. You obliviously have privileges or you wouldn’t have been able to post your complaint. I work in a facility that houses mentally patients. I am also a survivor of Huntington’s. Care facilities have been an intricate part of my life. If you have a child that cares enough to make sure that you are in a safe place, my advice is to love that child beyond reason. Accept that you might need to b where you are. It’s tough helping someone that can break your heart with a word. You obviously, have stepped up your campaign of war against your child. Trust and love, if your child cared nothing for you, well, they could just turn their backs all together. Today is the first day, of the rest of your life. Don’t have malice against your child for trying to help you. Much love.
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Grandma1954 Feb 2019
the person that posted this is NOT the person in the nursing home.
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Dimentia or any illness that effects rational thinking is sad, and hard on everyone. If the care facility that you or your caregiver r at is below standards, please talk to your social worker and get placed in a better place. Alienating your children, is the last thing you want to do. You do not know me, but trust me on this. You should feel blessed that you r being cared for.
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Um---

OP hasn't returned and that speaks volumes. He/she can say they are "whatever". I could say I was a flying monkey and you wouldn't know.

I stick by my idea that this is a person who lost a good "gig" and wants to know how to get around a family decision to move dad to more care.

Not saying this is a bad person. Just think. Why would they admit to ODing on something or is just fine to love alone. This post was not written by a person who is "declining".

Doubt the OP comes back.
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I have been thinking about this post and the other similar one. Just in case not everyone realizes it but...

Not all Caregivers you hire are CNAs. I was lucky that my daughters friend had done some caregiving and was bathing my Mom for me. But she was not a CNA. Another woman I know took care of her Mom and Dad. Her daughter, a CNA, worked for a lady receiving 24/7 care in the home. They hired this woman for night shift with no CNA certification.

In my area, one way you get certified is by working for a LTC facility. Another is the technical school and the Certification is only done every so often.

I am not saying these uncertified people aren't experienced. The woman who bathed Mom for me was asked to set up around the clock care and be one of the caregivers for a woman she knew. She successfully did it and I would hire her in a minute.
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You should be able to check yourself out.
Bur you would need to have a place to go.

Hopefully you still have charge of your money.
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JoAnn29 Feb 2019
It has been determined this is a third party who may be a former employee not happy their client was placed in a NH. Seems they may be looking for ways to get client back home so poster can care for them again.
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One thing to remember, a nursing home will not take a new resident unless that resident meets the medical requirements to be placed in a nursing home.
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