I really don't want to go through the prep/packing/airport and am just not into this anymore. We have 3 children and 3 grandchildren, youngest in senior year and college bound.
I am burned out. Worked for many,many years and did most of the child rearing. My husband was supportive when home. Now he has become all in for seeing widespread children and travel to see them for holidays. they used to travelto us but now they have older kis and it is difficult. Well thats okay as we see them the rest of the year. Oe lives near , one an easy drive and the other requiring a long drive or expensive airline tickets quite frankly, I am burned out. For my husband, he has become all up for family gathering/gradually. I'm burned out.
There's no use arguing about this. You aren't joined at the hip. Hook up a zoom call. Enjoy your day.
How about telling husband all of the above valid reasons for not going, then suggesting something that's fun for the two of you. Staying home and enjoying each others' company….going to a nearby resort and spend the holiday having fun together there….skiing….walking on the beach in a warm state…. anything but getting together with the kids and dealing with all the expectations that go with it. Like washing large pots, sharing bathrooms in a crowded house, and UGH!
All too soon our health fails, our dreams of a future together are crushed, and we no longer have our life companion by our side. I know this from personal experience. Let the holidays be about the two of you, anywhere. You can always call the kids and listen to the mayhem from far, far away. And you won't have to stir the gravy or pretend to enjoy the trip to the mall.
Happy holidays!
It’s also natural that your husband feels pulled toward family gatherings and wants to keep up those traditions, while you’re at a different place emotionally and physically. You’re not alone — many caregivers, mothers, and long-time “doers” feel exactly the same way when the energy simply isn’t there anymore.
Sometimes the best path is compromise — maybe he goes on the longer trip if it means so much to him, while you save your energy for the nearer family or for quality time together when everyone visits you. Or perhaps you set limits: one big trip a year instead of every holiday.
The important thing is to honor your own needs while still keeping the bonds of family. Burnout is real, and your feelings matter just as much as his hopes.
At 76 I so agree with you. Flying to see the Children around Christmas is not my cup of tea either.
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/1001-ways-to-say-no-495556.htm
You see the kids a week or 2 before Christmas for an early holiday , when it’s not as crazy at the airport.
I don’t blame you not wanting to fly during the holidays.