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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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I do not want to say outright "No you can't have a key"...he has asked several times and I am running out of ideas. Usually I say "Okay, next time I'm at the hardware store."
My Husband LOVED going to get the mail. What I would do is get the mail on my way in but leave all "junk" mail in the box. Then he could go get the mail and he would bring it in and give it to me. If any were to be lost or dropped it was no big deal. What you could do is make a quick run to the box, remove anything important then return and give him the key. More importantly one thing I always did..I would bring some "junk" mail to the box and put it in there so if there was no "real junk" mail there would be something for him to get and bring back.
That's all you can do. I have to be very inventive with my dad to keep him out of trouble and to get things done. You hubs will probably forget about the key and move on to another annoying thing soon.
You could also maybe give him a key that doesn't work? If you always get the mail anyway, you can just tell him everyday, "Oh, I already got the mail!" Maybe if he has a "fake" key, it will make him feel better about the whole thing, even if he never tries to use it? I dunno, it's a thought. Otherwise, I like the responses above.
My mother lives alone and goes to her own, and boy she seems to really value this ‘errand.’ So I can understand your DH. I agree that if you can stage it so he can get it out that might be nice. Or, can you set up a designated mail ‘place’ inside your home and have a stack of mail there that he can go through? Tell him the mail people started delivering it to the house again (and that it only comes every other day or something, to suit your staging schedule). We all get such a pile now, I hope you’d have a stack of circulars, etc. Ask neighbors for extra stuff they get, to add to the pile.
Can you always get the mail as soon as it is delivered, and leave a few "safe" items in it for hubby to get with his key? I know, extra work, but this interest of his might last very long. and I never found a sure-fire way to avoid extra work anyway.
The mail is very important to my mom. We had to change the address on all important mail and direct it to my brothers house. If we didn't, she would hide or lose all bills. She still gets other mail, and we remind and encourage friends and family to send her notes and cards. Do you have a family member you trust that could receive you bills, etc. and discretely deliver to you?
My mother would get the mail and I might never see it. Picking up the mail was VERY important to her. It was HER job. She would go out to the mail box multiple times a day.
I went online and set up her bills to be auto paid by her bank account. You can receive the bill by mail/and or email. They do not deduct the money from your account until 1-3 weeks later (depending on the company). Thus, if there is an issue with the bill you can address it before they deduct the money from the account. I never found an error. By having it come in my email I knew I received all the bills. By also letting it come through the post, she had real mail to receive. The bank automatically paid the bills so there was no worry of any being missed. Worked beautifully.
Finding a way for him to feel useful is important. It's really hard on people when they feel useless, as even little errands get taken away. People with dementia often realize they're being benched, and feel way more than people think on an emotional level, even if they can't retell exactly why they know or feel that way. I love the ideas to get there first and leave some behind. Also, it's an inconvenience, but consider a PO box for the very important info. My mom did that since there was no key on their mailbox and getting mail was one of the things my dad could "do for her."
I had that very same problem with my sister who has Alzhiemers. She would get the mail ,but hide it .If you asked for the heating bill- It would be the one that was two years old.I ended up having the important mail sent to my place since I have POA . I had to produce a copy of the POA to the different companies such as heat ,electric , phone etc, —but that was fine . I ended up having all her bills sent to me.She would get junk mail mostly & that seemed to satisfy her. She got that she could not read anymore ,but certainly could hide that she couldn’t read. That soon passes & then another problem pops up.It goes with dementia/ Alzheimer’s
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
What I would do is get the mail on my way in but leave all "junk" mail in the box.
Then he could go get the mail and he would bring it in and give it to me.
If any were to be lost or dropped it was no big deal.
What you could do is make a quick run to the box, remove anything important then return and give him the key. More importantly one thing I always did..I would bring some "junk" mail to the box and put it in there so if there was no "real junk" mail there would be something for him to get and bring back.
Hardware store was closed
They didn't have the right blank
I got one made but lost it
And so on............
That's all you can do. I have to be very inventive with my dad to keep him out of trouble and to get things done. You hubs will probably forget about the key and move on to another annoying thing soon.
I went online and set up her bills to be auto paid by her bank account. You can receive the bill by mail/and or email. They do not deduct the money from your account until 1-3 weeks later (depending on the company). Thus, if there is an issue with the bill you can address it before they deduct the money from the account. I never found an error. By having it come in my email I knew I received all the bills. By also letting it come through the post, she had real mail to receive. The bank automatically paid the bills so there was no worry of any being missed. Worked beautifully.
She would get the mail ,but hide it .If you asked for the heating bill-
It would be the one that was two years old.I ended up having the important mail sent to my place since I have POA .
I had to produce a copy of the POA to the different companies such as heat ,electric , phone etc, —but that was fine .
I ended up having all her bills sent to me.She would get junk mail mostly & that seemed to satisfy her.
She got that she could not read anymore ,but certainly could hide
that she couldn’t read. That soon passes & then another problem pops up.It goes with dementia/ Alzheimer’s
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