I need wisdom and guidance please!!
My wife works in the Home Health Care industry. She works with various clients throughout the week but has a set client on M,W,F.
She is classified as a "Personal Aide" for this client but I feel like she is being required (by the client) to do various tasks that are above and beyond what the definition of "light housekeeping" is with regards to the company she works for. My wife has confided in me, on several occasions, about what she has to do (above and beyond light housekeeping) for her client on any given shift. What she has shared with me, I believe, goes way beyond what "Light Housekeeping" is supposed to be.
I understand clearly what is required of her re: her duties & responsibilities for her client, set forth by her companies guidelines. But what she confides to me about, goes way beyond what the company defined as "Light Housekeeping". I have researched this to find out what other caregivers have said about this very topic and it even more confirms my gut feeling.
M wife's client is very mobile and independent when it comes to physical activities outside of the home(driving, groceries, Dr appt, etc...). My wife does all these things with her because she has issues with time management & forgetfulness. Sometimes she will snap and go off on my wife. My wife handles it well and recovers from it citing that her client deals with depression and anxiety But her client has crossed the line on many occasions... calling her "Fat" and "Stupid". It's not blurted out for no reason, it's said by the client when my wife is doing something for the client that the client isn't accepting of.
Just yesterday, my wife was required by the client to return, at least, a 30lb bucket of paint to the management office of where she lives. It is at least a 10 minute walk from the clients Apt to the office. My wife had to go down 2 long hallways, and an elevator when someone saw her struggling with the bucket and helped her take it the rest of the way.
When she got home last night, she was grabbing her lower right side and was in tremendous pain. She told me about the paint bucket situation and I told her that she may have ushered in a hernia. She did not want to tell her boss about it because she said she needs the hours, which doesn't help the situation! Right now she is working a 12 hour shift and is still at the same pain level as she was last night.
What do I do as a husband? How do I step in and express my concerns about how I feel she is being treated? Do I report the injury because she's afraid to; in fear of having her hours cut?
Please help me!
Second, the employer absolutely needs to know that the client is (a) insulting your wife with inappropriate name calling, and (b) manipulating your wife into exceeding the boundaries of employment, as well as possibly compromising her health.
This is a serious situation and needs to be addressed now.
If your wife can't work b/c of the paint hauling project, and explains this to the company for which she works, I suspect they would advise or caution, that she never should have agreed to allow the client to manipulate her as she did.
I would contact the agency for which she works and share everything you've shared here, and ask them to intervene and counsel the client that these kinds of extensions of service are not appropriate and won't be tolerated. If the woman retaliates and wants your wife fired, I understand it would be a loss of income, but it will be offset by the gain in self respect and self preservation.
Your wife may need the 12 hour shifts and the income produced from them, but does she need to be treated like a pack mule? Does she need to face injuries from hauling? She's entitled to respect; it's up to you and your wife to notify the employer so he/she can take immediate action. Under no circumstances should you contact the exploitive woman yourself.
BTW, does the company provide medical benefits for your wife or will these be out of pocket for you?
Thanks again!
Just a fellow caregiver here. So..several things seem to be going on here. First, your wife is putting her concern over her keeping her job above her health. Why is that ? Are jobs scarce in your area ? The other issue is her passive response to requests outside her job which are mentally and physically crushing her. So my question is are you two able to have a blunt , honest discussion that entails
a) Accepting that continuing in this way in Not Acceptable.
b) Once that is agreed upon, two directions to pursue: first is to limit current job activities and second is to look for another job.
These sound harsh and may be met with resistance but to move forward , real changes must be made. “It’s not that easy. You just don’t understand. I don’t know where to start.” are all ways of thinking that keep her in the same place. Hopefully you can be her partner in getting her through this as she has worked herself into an accommodating way of coping. Great for short term situations, not a great way of life.
Best wishes
She should NOT be subjected to insults or slurs and should not be asked to do things that she's not physically capable of or that put her in danger.
Is your wife generally very subservient? Does she have trouble asserting herself in other situations?
She needs to report these incidents to her agency.
If she gets fired for being injured on the job, that is illegal and she should file a wrongful termination lawsuit.
I would not contact her employer. I never appreciated a spouse calling me and addressing issues. I don't have to talk to your spouse as your employer and I would not do it. She needs to stand up and tell them what is happening and that she has been injured and how she is being treated. It is not okay for her client to speak ugly words to her.
The workman's comp...if your wifes duties are written down anywhere, like a handbook or in her contract, and taking that bucket is considered volunteering, she may not be covered under workman's comp. One place I worked our drivers were not to unload the truck. When they arrived at the location, our customer was to have people ready to unload the truck. But one of our drivers thought he would be helpful and carried a 100# item off the truck. He was injured but company workman's comp would not cover the injury because...he wasn't suppose to unload the truck.
If your wife is going to work as an aide, she needs to stand up for herself. The employer should have her duties in writing. Then there is no question concerning her responsibilities. I can understand the mindset of "no problem, it just a small thing and I am here". Been there , but once a person sees ur willing to do one thing they start asking for more. And no one should take verbal abuse, from a client unless they have a form of Dementia. Physical abuse like hitting or sexual should not be tolerated even when Dementia is involved. I would tell my employer about physical/sexual abuse and refuse to work for the client. Verbal I would ask how did her employer want her to handle it. Was it OK to tell the client that your wife won't tolerate her being talked to that way or just ignore it. If it becomes racial slurs, that should not be tolerated even by the employer.
Your wife should have a list of her duties for each client. And that is all she is entitled to do. When client asks her to do something and she really doesn't care and has the time, she needs to tell the client that the duty is not one of her responsibilities but she would be happy to do it.
If her employer does not back her up in this, maybe she needs to work for a different agency.