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A few years ago elderly narcissistic mother with some dementia made sister POA and said that I wasn't to be on any financial documents. The sister built a home and invited mother to move in. I think she felt that this would be a warm fuzzy situation but it wasn't at all. Mom at that time gave her and hubby over 100k to build the home. After a week of the home completion Mom moved out and was causing chaos per sister for her family and is now saying that sister and hubby are theives and stole the money. I had no idea mom was moving in with sister and the money was given to build the home until it was done. The younger sister knew about it as she had to have the monies sent to sister. The younger sister had older sister removed as POA and is now the POA. I'm completely out of it. But was blamed for not helping to pay Mom's bills by my sisters! I'm a single woman who supports herself. My mother also labeled me a thief and I have no idea what stole! Neither does she but she painted me as that and both sisters believed it and treated me as such. I have traveled to the state where everyone is 2x a year for 19 years! Yep, while never taking a real vacation for self. I took a real vacation for self this year. I will never do that to myself again. Not one of them has come to visit me in 18 years! I even visited when I was collectin unemployment...crazy! My mom supported the younger sister for years. While I got nothing. I don' t know why I'm treated so differently.


Lastly, I live alone and no one ever calls to see if I'm ok. They wouldn't know if I were dead or alive. Nothing. Older sister stopped talking to me for years no concern about me at all and I have no idea why. Now she's back to talking to me. Younger one is the same, talk one minute and completely ignore me the next. Both are married with families. I know that I would never treat someone they way I've been treated. I'm upset with my mother for all her lies and my sisters for and believing them and a their treats. When it suited them mom didn't have dementia when it didn't she did especially when it came to me.


I'm angry and I don't tell them anything about me or my life and they don't bother to ask ever. I'm the forgotten one.


I've been lurking for a while.

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I am so very sorry that you are experiencing this toxic behavior by your family. I was always the scapegoat for my mother, she used me, she abused me, she blamed me for everything.

Long story short, I had enough, I stopped speaking to her 8 years ago, the best 8 years of my adult life...I will never speak to her again.

It is not you, this is totally out of your control, and if it were me, I would just go no contact, and start making a new family of your liking, new friends...a new life...for you!

Sending hugs your way!
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Shell38314 Dec 2019
Well said DollyMe! There are so many of us who get treated like crap by our families. Great advice!
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Step away from all of them and all of their drama and make yourself a good and decent life. Get hobbies that you love, sewing, photography, gardening, movies; whatever you like.
You cannot change your family. Many things in life cannot be fixed. You have two chances to have a great family, the one you are born into or the one you make for yourself of friends and loved ones.
Get out there and make a life for yourself and step away from those who will bring you down; that's all they are good for.
Wishing you good luck going forward. Set small goals for yourself in the New Year, and get moving, especially. Walk. Run. Whatever works for you. Good luck, hon. Keep us posted.
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I understand what you are going thru. My mother is dying right now and even on her deathbed, she still is mean to me. It's hard, but we choose our friends, not our families. I hope when my mom meets her maker, she gets confronted about how she treated the child she never really loved or wanted.
Let it go. Really. It sounds like you are the only one who is okay. Live your life and find yourself a friend.
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If I was you, I would take DollyMe advice. It isn't you its them! Repeat that to yourself over and over!

We can't make people care about us, but we don't have to take it either. I know it hurts and it just sucks, but you will get through this. I so feel your pain families am very sorry that your family treats you this way. But there is a lot of us here who is treated less then by our so-called family!


Hugs!!!
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