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Mom hasn't lived here in over 60 years but has always thought of it as home. I started coming as a little girl and I love it too. We're staying in a little cottage my grandpa built 66 years ago. Lots of memories here. But being with mom 24-7 is a bit of a strain. I slept in on purpose this morning to avoid hearing the same 5 questions/comments on repeat for a while. She doesn't remember what we bought at the grocery store yesterday, what she or anyone else said earlier in the day, she is constantly looking for something, and can be looking right at something and not see it. I'm trying my best not to correct her about anything that's not important. But she still gets annoyed with me when I must give her the correct info about something. And she gets irritable and sarcastic very easily. Likes to debate everything. Unfortunately, I must call her out on it at times. I've noticed that if I or someone else engages her in conversation about something she is less likely to start repeating herself. But I'm not always up for conversation. Sometimes I'm just trying to drink my morning coffee and enjoy the view out the window. I miss my husband and pets. My husband politely declines to go on vacation with mom after a rather unpleasant experience while at the beach several years back. I don't blame him at all. It's been eye opening to see her daily. She's talked about coming up here next year, but I can't imagine how she would make it by herself, and I can't come every year. We had a nice day visiting family today. It takes a lot of her focus off me too which is great for me in that I don't have to hear so much repetitive stuff. No questions here really, just needed to vent, I guess. Thanks!

No problem, venting is good, I get it when you start to wonder if this will be the last time you do this or that, it's hard, it stinks, and it's a bit of mourning every lose.

I all get the frustration of your vacation. I hope you and your husband get a chance to get away alone sometime soon.
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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I will bet this is the last trip you do. Both my husband and I made that determination with our moms when we got stressed.
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Reply to MACinCT
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When I read things like this I tend to wonder, how many of us will this describe one day? That’s not stated with judgement or criticism. I just see, quite understandably, how tiring and frustrating some elders can be, their behaviors and sickness causing people to avoid or limit time with them. I dread being a person to be avoided, or a caricature of myself, or maybe I won’t realize it. Just musing…I do hope you’ll find some pockets of enjoyment in your trip
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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YaYa79 Aug 19, 2024
I'm right there with you, Daughter. I have been thinking about this myself lately.
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Laugh, laugh, laugh
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Reply to cover9339
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Thank you to the 4 of you that responded. We just got into a very heated argument after I corrected her about something I bought earlier today. She thought she had bought it to give to her cousin, when actually I had bought it to have for us. I don't think I was nasty when I said it. I'm trying very hard to have patience but she doesn't like when I tell her she's mistaken. She went off on me saying she was tired of me constantly correcting her and a bunch of other stuff basically painting me as the bad guy. I know that it's upsetting having someone tell you you're wrong about something. And I've tried my very best to not comment on things that don't matter. But her memory is awful, she even comes up with scenarios that didn't happen and she gets confused easily. So I have to say things at times. More often then I'd like to. I can't wait to go home at this point.
This will likely be the last time I attempt this trip. Sadly when I came up here with her and my kids 5 years ago she had a tendency toward getting an attitude about silly things then and she wasn't having memory issues at that time.
I do think about how it would be if I had these type issues myself in the future. It scares me to be honest. But I feel like her drinking has played a big part in her problems. I told her that I thought that it could be what's causing her memory problem. That was during the argument so she probably has already dismissed it.
I know she thinks I'm just being mean and not caring about her feelings. I'm trying to handle them as kindly as I can but it does get frustrating.
Thanks
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Reply to Emptynesting
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