She is also showing signs of developing dementia, which she hides well from people who don’t know her. After 48 years, I recognize the rapid decline in her cognitive abilities being around her every day. I also find it difficult to keep/find a good paying job that is willing to work with me in our need for doctors’ appointments, sometimes set up and scheduled for the time off and then the doctor’s office calls and needs to reschedule, or they need to schedule an unexpected test, etc. I need to find out if there are resources available for me to be able to get financial help for caring for her in my home. She is not totally incapacitated, but not capable of being left for long periods. Maybe still allowing me to work some PT for a while until she is completely unable to be left alone at all. I could set up a monitor to keep an eye on her. Usually she just sleeps anyway. I totally feel for anyone else who is in a similar situation. It’s very frustrating and makes you feel very isolated from your friends and the rest of the world.
If your Mother can qualify for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare], maybe your State offers a payment program for you. Don't be surprised if the pay is minimum wage for a few hours per week. Medicaid is paid by us taxpayers.
I understand what you are going through with being employed and the boss not understanding. I had a "Devil wears Prada" type of manager with zero understanding. Eventually I left that company and found a new company which was so understanding, that I was able to leave at a moment noticed to help my parents if it was urgent.
Hope you find something that works out for the both of you.
What is your mother's financial situation? Can she afford a facility? Could she become Medicaid-eligible?
Caregiving for our LOs is often less about a perfect solution or arrrangement and more about "least bad option". That's just the reality of it. Flexibility will be key for you to keep your sanity.