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Dad, for short bits of time, thought his son was at his house so he was lookkng for him everywhere. Then he thought me and husband were there. (We had left the dsy before) . Tonight I'm sitting watching tv with him and he turns to me and sdid he was wondering where my mom was and his great grandson. Mom died in 1997. He is alcoholic. Wont go to dr unless in pain. So I'm left to try to figure this out. He cant figure out the tv remote (my husbsnd talks to him on phone xnd tslks him through fixing tv picture because he messed it up) . Any thoughts?

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"Nothing is going to change until he is in an accident or some major medical issue."

Yup, you are probably right.

He may very well be experiencing alcohol-related dementia. Or some other cognitive disorder. Or he could be having a urinary tract infection, which does not have the same symptoms in elders that it does in younger people.

To diagnose what is going on, and to treat it, requires seeing a doctor. He won't see a doctor.

What can you do? Hope that the emergency that finally takes him to a doctor is not critical or life-threatening.

Decisions have consequences. We all know this, but we'd like to suspend the laws of cause and effect as they affect our loved ones. Sigh. We can't.
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Jeanne wrote exactly what I was going to say, so I'll add on a "me too" to what she wrote. My brother was an alcoholic. He imagined the FBI was watching him in his hotel room. They sent rats with cameras on their tails held up by balloons to spy on him. There was no reason the FBI would even be interested in him. He had alcohol-induced dementia.

Sometimes alcoholics can also have other forms of dementia. If he has to go to the hospital ER for any reason, see if you can have him admitted for a psych evaluation. They may be able to help him. If it is alcohol alone, some time in rehab may help. If it turns out to be another form of dementia, you will get some idea of what the future holds for you.

Good thoughts coming your way.
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Lewy Body Dementia can also produce hallucinations. A relative imagined her deceased husband was back in the room with her when she had these hallucinations; she also was subject to hallucinations when she had recurrent UTIs.

Sometimes you just have to put your foot down and make it clear that if you're going to take care of him, he needs to cooperate. And that means going to the doctor if he's ill.

OTOH, the delusions may also be a result of alcoholism.
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I am not a doctor but from what I have read on this website it could possibly be memory issues https://www.agingcare.com/articles/alzheimers-disease-dementia-warning-signs-144253.htm

Plus take Dad to his primary doctor, make some excuse like it is time for his pneumonia shot, and privately tell your doctor some of the issues. It could be just plain old age decline or something else on the horizon.
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That soundx great but he's not going to Dr to get any shot. He already has memory issues. Pretty bad too, in some ways. But this thinking that dead family is alive but he cant them is new. I'll email his dr but nothing is going to change until he is in an accident or some major medical issue. He's very stubborn.
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