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Hi! My elderly father is staying with me long-term. He has issues with memory loss. At times, I am struggling to be patient with him. Any tips? Thanks!
Dealing with someone who has dementia like Alzheimer is indeed a big challenge, the illness has no cure yet and you only have to offer the best possible care you can give. There are lots of independent organization who offers support for caregivers of long-term care dementia patients. What you need to do is educate yourself so you know exactly where they are coming from. You are going to need more patience and remember to avoid arguing with them. Here's a few tips on caring for long-term care dependents with memory loss:
My dad did not have dementia, but there were plenty of other things that made the situation very difficult, including, the dynamics with mom. Before I entered his room or space, I would take a moment to ask God for patience and strength to deal with whatever would be before me. It may sound strange, but I sincerely think it is what kept me centered.
Hi Mags, One tip is to make it a habit to take part in this community or another support group. We understand that it's hard because most of us have been in similar situations. Just knowing others struggle with the same issues can be very helpful.
I'd suggest that you go to www.alz.org and take the "brain tour." It helps when you see exactly how the areas of the brain are eaten away simply because it becomes more real to us that the person with the memory loss can't help what is happening. Of course, you already know that, but somehow seeing the damage makes it more real.
Also, practical things such as making lists for him is he can still comprehend them may help. Eventually, labeling rooms and even items he uses may help. The Alzheimer's organization in your community can help you with suggestions, as can the Alzheimer's Association website.
Patience is something we can learn when we understand what is behind the issue. I'm not saying that you'll become a saint by becoming more educated about the disease and by having a support community, but I am suggesting that these steps will help.
Take care of yourself, too. This will likely be a long journey. Carol
Educate yourself on the disease. Start here in the search section, also Alzheimer's .org... Patience is the key! Arguing will only make matters worse... Good luck and keep coming back here for support...
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
http://www.infolongtermcare.org/5-useful-caregiving-tips-for-parents-with-memory-loss/
Before I entered his room or space, I would take a moment to ask God for patience and strength to deal with whatever would be before me.
It may sound strange, but I sincerely think it is what kept me centered.
One tip is to make it a habit to take part in this community or another support group. We understand that it's hard because most of us have been in similar situations. Just knowing others struggle with the same issues can be very helpful.
I'd suggest that you go to www.alz.org and take the "brain tour." It helps when you see exactly how the areas of the brain are eaten away simply because it becomes more real to us that the person with the memory loss can't help what is happening. Of course, you already know that, but somehow seeing the damage makes it more real.
Also, practical things such as making lists for him is he can still comprehend them may help. Eventually, labeling rooms and even items he uses may help. The Alzheimer's organization in your community can help you with suggestions, as can the Alzheimer's Association website.
Patience is something we can learn when we understand what is behind the issue. I'm not saying that you'll become a saint by becoming more educated about the disease and by having a support community, but I am suggesting that these steps will help.
Take care of yourself, too. This will likely be a long journey.
Carol