My 90yr old mom with dementia has significant impairments in vision and hearing. She cannot drive, and lives alone in her small home with home assistance a few days a week (this is entirely at her insistence - she refuses any other sort of placement or assistance). Most of her life she has had cats and dogs, with deep love and attention. However, in April of 2022, she had a fall, a UTI, hospitalization, etc. She was not feeding or caring for her cat and dog adequately: forgetting to feed them (the groomer was alarmed and I witnessed this myself), the cat was crated for 24 hours at a time without food or water and was sick, and there was urine and feces all over the house. I took in the cat (who requires lifelong medication) and we rehomed the dog. This was all very traumatic. Well, last fall, Mom got her home care assistant to take her to the animal shelter and got a cat. And for months, she complained that the cat wasn’t friendly, ruined her couch, hid a lot, scratched her, etc. Finally, in a fit of frustration, she took the cat back to the shelter - and now is calling them weekly to ask for her back (they will not do that). So last week she got her new caregiver to take her to a different shelter. I have now spoken to that shelter and they said they would put a note in her file that she is not likely to be eligible to adopt. Right now, the immediate concern is that she is getting these caregivers to enable her trips to shelters, even got the last one to be the one to take the poor cat back. This feels SO inappropriate for these caregivers to be helping her engage in this that all three of us kids (all of us have beloved pets, so we GET it, we DO!) do NOT WANT TO HAVE HAPPEN. Is it reasonable for us to ask the agency to tell her caregivers that they are not to take her to any animal shelters, etc. or help her obtain yet another pet she cannot care for? We simply can’t countenance the risk to the safety and health of a helpless cat in the hands of her proven inability to even feed or care for them! I have POA, but she has not been declared incompetent legally. Thanks, everyone!
So, first I would contact every shelter within driving distance and tell them that your mother’s condition is such that she can’t care for a personal animal beyond maybe a betta fish in a bowl. A returned animal, btw, has less of a chance for a forever home.
If these caregivers have personal pets that are well behaved, I would encourage them to bring the pets to work to give her stimulation.
Can you get your mom one of those stuffed animal companions that seem very life like? I'm not familiar with the brands, but there are some that are specific for the elderly that are popular ~
Good idea .
My mother had a robotic cat . There are various brands .
Maybe that would help your mom
Maybe they will understand that the animals should not be put in this situation .
I’m surprised any shelter would give a cat to someone that old . I got my kitten when I was 55 , I had to have my daughter sign that if my cat outlived me , my daughter would take it .
Your mom must be very convincing.
If I had a client that asked this , I would keep changing the subject, then make excuses, then probably call the office and tell them my situation, then they would most likely call you.
I'm pretty shocked they would do this.
Yes of course call the office and tell them, this absolutely can not happen again.
When she getsca new caregiver, inform them to not take her tova shelter.
Calling the agency and telling them that the caregiver should not take mom to an animal shelter might work but does she have the same caregiver all the time? Will that message get relayed if she has a sub caregiver?