I have requested that my sister take my mother for a weekend a month and when my wife and I take a vacation. She has only taken her twice in 9 months, and we need a break once in a while. To add to the problem, my sister is married to a sociopath who had blocked our phone numbers from being able call my sister’s home for 6 years until my father passed. As a result, I’m not comfortable having my mother stay with my sister for any period of time. There are three grandchildren that could assist, but I don’t feel it is their responsibility to care for their grandmother. I have a job that requires me to travel for 2 or 3 weeks every 6 months. I hate to burden my wife with taking care of my mother because my wife has Rheumatoid Arthritis. Until my mother doesn’t know where she is or who we are, she will continue to live with us. Are there temporary places where my mother could stay for a weekend or 2 to 3 weeks at a time?
Almost all AL have some version of this, sometimes advertised and most often on the low-key word of mouth or referral situation. The AL's like it because it's private pay in advance and so often the respite "guest" ends up moving there when they or family decide to move them out of the home. AL runs from 2K - 5K and you would likely pay a small premium above the weekly rate. I'm assuming she has no specialized care issues and can do her ADL's.
If AL is just too flat expensive, google to find "board & care homes" in your area. These cost significantly less but do less by & large. These tend to be run by a couple, who live on site, who turn 2 - 4 bedrooms of their large house into basically a dorm for healthy elderly. They might do a short term stay too.
3 weeks can be a long, long time, personally I'd find a place rather than depend on family from afar and I agree with you that I too wouldn't want to place my child to be the decision maker if something were to happen to his grandma.
If your mom has lots of health issues, then imho you need to approach this differently as AL might not take her. You need to be really clear on her ability and neither of you want a surprise on day 4 of a 21 day stay!
Perchance is she on hospice? if so, she & you could use the respite benefit. Hospice is covered by Medicare and if she is in at-home hospice after a period of time, Medicare will allow the at home family caregiver to use the Medicare paid for respite benefit where the hospice patient goes to an approved facility - usually a NH with a hospice unit - for respite care under Medicare guidelines. Good luck.
For long vacations I have found a assisted living that would lend her an apartment.
Good luck!
Sarah,
As far as the grandchildren go, I honestly asked for help from my daughter and son-in-law with this for mom. I kindof traded off babysitting for their kids (my grandbabies) for them babysitting mom when needed for a weekend or a week. Might be worth asking. Hope this helped alittle and I sincerely hope you get some time together. You HAVE to have that in your situation. Makes for a happier marriage.