My mother in law is in the beginning stages of Dementia and is also Schizophrenic ( takes meds for it) . She is still able to leave in a home behind our house but she walks in our home without knocking and is here more than there. I know she wants company but we need privacy. She also walks through the house into bathrooms and bedrooms. Any tips or suggestions?
Or put a door buzzer mat just inside the entrance that she always uses, that way you know that someone came into the house.
One thing you could do is lock the door she enters from. This will force her to have to knock and then you can tell her if it's a good time for her to visit or not.
When she's in your house will a closed door prevent her from going into a room? When she wanders into someone's bedroom do you redirect her and tell her that she's not allowed to invade someone's privacy?
This all depends upon how the dementia has affected her so far. You said she also has schizophrenia but since she's your mother in law I'm assuming that she's been able to have meaningful relationships in the past and can follow social cues. Is the dementia more of a barrier than the mental illness?
I've read on this site about elderly parents who invade others bedrooms and don't have a sense of boundaries and some of the suggestions were about putting locks on the top of the door where they can't be reached. A slide bolt. Drastic, sure. But I value my privacy as much as anyone and if someone repeatedly violated it I wouldn't hesitate to put a lock on the outside of my door.
How does your husband handle this?
I think you will need barriers other than setting boundaries and reasoning with her. She may understand perfectly in a lucid moment, and fully agree about privacy, but ten minutes later completely forget that. Locks or buzzers are kinder -- they don't expect her to behave in ways she can't manage.
Giving her something else to do, such as attend a day program a few hours a week, can give you some relief, too.
I suppose you've thought of the possibility that, if she can't get into your home, she'll wander the neighborhood?
The interior doors are easy to solve; locking her out completely has its risks. If she's lost her sense of boundaries, which it sounds as if she has, I'm very surprised she can live alone . . . probably only because you live so close. Better get a GPS locator bracelet for the little lady. ;)
You are an angel to watch over her, by the way.
Alzheimer's includes wandering; most other kinds of dementia don't. So there is something like a 50-50 chance she will wander. That is enough of a risk to start exploring ways to deal with it, but keep in mind it might never happen. You are right (according to what I've read) that persons with Alzheimer's dementia will often obey signs saying "Stop" or "Do not enter" or "Ring bell ONLY ONCE." I tried that with my husband, who had a different kind of dementia. Ha! He'd see the sign. He knew what it meant. He didn't think it meant him, or he didn't care if it did. Signs were useless for us, but it is worth a try.
If she went to a day health program ("day care" instead of "senior center") she would have a different table to sit silently at for a few hours a week. If the staff is good and understands her issues, this could work out OK. If something they are doing captures her interest, so much the better, but it could be worthwhile just to be among different people for a while.
If you can give this poor woman some contentment in her late years that will be quite an accomplishment. Do pay attention to your own needs and limits, too. Don't drive yourself crazy to deal with her mental illness.