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Ok. This is my last question about the behavior of family members. I just need to know if I should just "let it roll off my back" or should I get the heck (I want to say hell) out of here: My brother came over to my father's and I was bending over picking up my father's tissue for hundredth time. I looked up with discomfort on my face and my brother intentionally makes the same look on his face, mocking me, as if saying "What's wrong? Too much effort?". My brother is an adult. He knows I have been toiling away here, on my feet for hours a day, cooking, cleaning and catering to every whim of my father. This will change in February when he goes into assisted living but right now I am having a very difficult time dealing with what I consider abuse from my "brother". Has anyone else been treated like this? Is it abuse?

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"I was bending over picking up my father's tissue for hundredth time."

What happens when (if?) your father goes to AL and there is no one to do this for him?
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lisatrevor Jan 2023
He will be getting 24 hour constant care so assume someone there will.
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Leave the tissue on the floor. Your father is going into assisted living in February. That's only a few weeks away. Ignore them until then.
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Talk about beating a dead horse, just move out tomorrow and let your brother handle your father.

What do you want from us? There is nothing we can do for you, move on.
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BurntCaregiver Jan 2023
@MeDolly

THANK-YOU!

I think everyone has been saying that since day one.
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Let it roll off your back. I am hoping by February you mean the first of February. And if it does not happen, you need to walk away. You need to get out of that house and let brother deal with it. Which, I am sorry, you should have let brother do initially. Wasn't Dad suppose to enter an AL originally and you swooped in to care for him. Your brother had it all planned. You think its easy paying for Aides and making sure they show up and if they quit finding a replacement. Maybe brother does not like using his wife's money for his father's care. At least in an AL Dads SS and any pension he gets will help offset the cost of his care.

"My brother is an adult. He knows I have been toiling away here, on my feet for hours a day, cooking, cleaning and catering to every whim of my father." For whatever reason, you chose to care for your Dad when there were other options. You continue to put up with the disrespect this two men give you. I would have left long ago. You are not going to change Dad or your brother at this point. Its what it is.
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BurntCaregiver Jan 2023
@JoAnn

Don't engage with lisatrevor. It's just trolling.
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Oh, for GOODNESS SAKE, Lisa. Stop. OK? Just STOP! Go AWAY!!!!!!!
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lealonnie1 Jan 2023
I think the only way to get this person to go away is to have everyone stop commenting to ANY and ALL of his posts. Forevermore.
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YES, it's normal. Some people don't get along with their siblings.

My husband's siblings fight constantly and call them "discussions." Princes William and Harry fight and throw each other into dog bowls. Meghan Markle's sister calls her "Princess Pushy." My brother used to punch me in the shoulder and call me Dognose before he grew up. IT'S NORMAL.

EVERYONE who has a sibling has fussed with those siblings to one extent or another. You and Harry seem to be the only people on this planet who think it isn't normal. 🙄
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